To Have and To Hold
by srp2017
Summary: Mike and Andrea have married and moved on with their lives but someone very important from their past needs help. AU and all The Last Ship characters belong to TNT
1. Chapter 1

I got an idea and I couldn't get out of my head until I put it up. So here goes. Thanks to tmtcltb for the suggestion and support. I probably won't update this as frequently until I get my other stories finished. Lots of balls in the air right now.

 **To Have and to Hold**

Chapter 1-8 years after the Red Flu hit (Season 1)

Christine was desperate. She was dying and knew it. The doctors had diagnosed her with Breast Cancer six months before. She had them do a radical mastectomy and then round upon round of Chemotherapy and Radiation. Her body was depleted, and it didn't work because the cancer had spread. It was in her left lung, her thyroid was surrounded in tumors, there was a suspicious spot on her liver and another on her spine. She was in constant pain and had no energy.

She took the last of her money and moved her family to Florida. She had given up and refused further treatment. The climate helped her a bit but the rental house she moved her family into was not in good shape. They were depending on her oldest daughter's income at a nursing home. Hilary desperately wanted to be a nurse like Christine had been, but Christine couldn't do that for her. In moving her family, she knew she was moving close to Mike.

The government had made new laws that the hundreds of thousands of people that were missing could be legally declared as dead after five years. Mike had done that at the government's insistence. He had had her, Hilary and Hannah declared dead and remarried. Christine knew she could be angry at him, but she just couldn't. She needed him to finish raising the kids, to help Hilary and to help them all grieve when she died. She had started going by her maiden name and the kids had followed suite. Legally, their last name was still Slattery but they all went by Adams to make it less confusing.

She had had triplets eight months after Mike had left for the Arctic and somehow had kept them and the girls alive. They were barely seven years old. Hilary was prepared that she was going to raise them, but Christine wanted something more for them all. Hilary was barely twenty and she deserved to have a normal early adulthood. Something Mike could insure that she would have. Hilary was incredibly angry at her father and at her circumstances and Hannah followed her blindly. Both girls, despite the anger they felt, had also missed him terribly.

Christine had kept track of Mike and knew that the time was right but also knew; she would never get through to him. Since he was a member of the legendary Nathan James crew, he was protected. He had married Andrea Garnett, someone Christine had always adored. She was happy for Mike and Andrea and proud of them. She could be jealous, but she would have wanted Mike to be happy; and since she had been declared deceased, legally speaking, they were no longer married. Despite that, Christine still wore her wedding band. He and Andrea had also had a little girl, Lexi, two years before and Andrea was currently pregnant. They also fostered a couple kids that were orphaned or in horrific situations. At last count, they had fostered at least a dozen, and kept three of those, adopting them. Christine also knew they were in the process of adopting another little boy, Charlie. Christine loved that they had opened their hearts and home to children in need. She just hoped that Mike and Andrea would do the same with Christine's children. It would be overwhelming for them.

Christine knew she would never be able to get to Mike; so, she had a plan. Write a letter, and have it delivered to Tom Chandler but addressed to Mike. She just hoped her plan would work. She sat in her old beater car, watching the office where Mike and Tom both worked. She smiled when she saw Mike get out of a nice truck in his summer whites, salute at some passing sailors and walk in. Despite her current circumstances, she still loved him, and he still made her feel weak in the knees. She looked down at the letter and knew that her next steps would be difficult, but she had to do it. She reread the letter through tear filled eyes.

" _Mike,_

 _You are in shock right now and I am sorry for that. I am not angry at you for having the girls and I declared deceased. You needed to go on with your life. It took me a long time to find you and by the time I did, you had moved on and I didn't want to make things hard._

 _The girls and I started using my maiden name. Legally, we are still Slattery's, but I thought it would be easier for you. Hannah and Hilary are well, but I will go into that a bit further in a minute. There is a lot to catch up on._

 _When you called from the Arctic; I was horrible to you. I was angry at you for not being their when our boy died. Not being there when I needed you. I withheld some very important information from you and I shouldn't have. For a good, long while; I stayed angry. That's what kept me away and then I lost track of you. In doing that, I withheld your children from you and for that, I am SO, SO Sorry. You see, I was pregnant with triplets when you called. And yes, they are yours…not that you would ask that._

 _I found my instructor from when I was taking my midwife courses. She was holed up in a farmhouse in Arkansas. That's where the triplets were born. They were a wee bit early but did well. Tyler is the oldest and he is lot like Lucas was. Maggie is next (and yes, named after your mom). Next is Katie. They just turned seven and are a total joy. You will love them (I'm hoping, anyway). Hilary is working as a Certified Nurse's Aide at a nursing home and Hannah will be graduating soon. She has hopes of going to college to become an architect._

 _As painful as this is, Hilary is terribly angry at you. She feels you abandoned us. You have your work cut out for you where she's concerned and unfortunately, she has a lot of say over Hannah. I am encouraging Hannah to not feel as her sister feels, but at seventeen, its hard to not do that. Hannah really is a good girl and I am confident that she will come around. I will certainly encourage it._

 _The reason I finally am contacting you is that six months ago, I was diagnosed with fourth stage breast cancer. They did the mastectomy (both sides), chemo and radiation but it is widespread, and I know my time is coming to the end. Hilary is all prepared that the triplets and Hannah will go to her to care for, but I wanted to…offer them to you and Andrea? I am not sure I could die peacefully, knowing that my barely twenty-year-old was having to raise her younger siblings. I know a lot of kids her age are doing that now, but I really want more for my daughter and for them too._

 _I have no hard feelings where you and Andrea are concerned. I would have wanted you to move on. I am quite proud of the two of you. I will admit, I do still love you, but I can understand why you would be so angry with me, that you wouldn't. I just need to know that my kids are okay. I am at peace with what will happen. I will be with our oldest boy. I hope you can forgive me for this pain that I have caused you but in writing you, I am giving you an option. The kids don't know what I've done where you're concerned; so, if you want to not answer this or not find me; I do understand. I can't foresee that, but I am giving you the option. Enclosed is my address and pictures of the kids. I suggest you talk to Andrea about this before you react. It involves her and what I am asking of the two of you is huge. Massive. They are your kids, but they will be none the wiser. I have told the triplets about you, but I would love to see them in your care before I die. I will help the transition if you agree to it. They know you are a hero._

 _As I said before, you are not to feel badly. I know you and you have a tremendous sense of responsibility and I am hoping that will shine through. I am so incredibly proud of you (and Andrea too). Foster parents? I love it. I have been kind of keeping track of you two. I just had to figure out how to do this._

 _If I don't hear from you; I will know what your answer is._

 _I love you,_

 _Christine"_

Christine walked into the office building where Mike had walked into and put the envelope on the front desk. She had written Tom's name on it but had put (for Mike) under that. She just had to trust it would get where it needed to go. As she walked out; she passed Tom who just nodded at her, not recognizing her. It was for the best. Her bald head was in a scarf and she had lost a lot of weight in her treatments. It gave her the ability to not attract a lot of attention.


	2. Chapter 2

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 2

Mike loved his life. It was easy, despite the overabundance of kids. He and Andrea hadn't planned on having their own kids and started being foster parents; seeing a need. They bought a huge house that was adequate for their needs, Andrea retired and Mike and she hired a part time nanny. They had fostered well over a dozen kids and adopted three of them. They were in the process of adopting their fourth, Charlie. They had also had a little girl of their own, Lexi and Andrea was thirty-two weeks along with their last, a little boy.

As happy as he was, as fulfilled as he was; he hated himself for having his girls declared deceased. Christine, too. The government had forced it so that they weren't paying out in benefits for a woman and children that might be dead. He didn't have a choice. He felt horribly about it. Yes, he had fallen in love with Andrea and they had moved fast but she understood that a part of him would always love Christine. He missed them terribly and part of the reason that he and Andrea were foster parents was because he hoped that if his girls were out there somewhere, and Christine had died; that someone was doing the same for them; what he and Andrea were doing for their kids.

Charlie's story was by far the saddest. His mother had died during the Red Flu, leaving Charlie and his sister Abby with their father. Their dad hated his own children with a passion and Charlie was too young to remember his mom. It all culminated in him murdering Abby who was trying to protect her little brother. Charlie had been hiding in a closet when the police found him and Mike had picked him up from the hospital. The little boy had been practically catatonic. Abby had been the only person in his life that had loved him, and he had witnessed her being murdered by their father. It took six months for him to say his first words, and a year before he could sleep in his own bed; staying with Mike and Andrea. Child therapists were a thing of the past and Mike and Andrea were totally responsible for his emotional health, along with his physical health. It had been a battle. And his father had refused to sign away his rights until the judge forced it when he was sent to prison for Abby's murder. The adoption process had been a lot more difficult where Charlie was concerned but Mike and Andrea were determined. That little boy would never know anything but love.

Mike was working with Tom at a new war college based in Mayport. He was not as good of an instructor as Tom and didn't inspire the same sense of duty but his strength was his ability to let the recruits know; they would be sacrificing. He was still in the Navy but was able to not deploy which worked well with his family situation. He liked the work.

Mike did his morning class on "Morale on Deployment." It was more Tom's thing but he was sick and so Mike took care of the class. His whole thought on morale while deployed was to keep things lighthearted with the crew. They knew their jobs and when the time came; Mike knew they would keep the objective but they didn't need a stiff Captain. He was sitting at his desk, reviewing notes for his afternoon class and eating lunch; when Tom's assistant burst in.

"Sir…this was addressed to Admiral Chandler but had your name in the parentheses and per policy; I read it. I think you need to see this." The young man rambled on as he handed Mike the letter.

"Where did this come from?" Mike asked, not seeing a postmark on the envelope; let alone a return address or a proper address at all.

"I spoke with the front desk. A woman brought it in this morning, sit it down without saying a word. They passed it along to me. It has been scanned and is chemical free." The assistant, Sean, told him before walking out; apparently wanting to give him privacy. Mike opened the envelope and pulled the letter out; but noticed the pictures and another slip of paper with an address written on it. Mike started reading the letter and felt like he was going to be sick. He was heartbroken, conflicted and confused.

He had a pregnant wife at home along with five children. Kids that needed him. He had failed Christine and his kids. He should have looked harder. Should have looked to the ends of the Earth. Now, his…first wife was dying and he had three kids that he had never met. And Hannah and Hilary? They were right to hate him and he didn't deserve any sort of relationship with them. He wanted it but the fear of rejection was huge. He looked over the pictures and tucked them in his wallet. It was too late to cancel his afternoon class but he could shorten it. He wanted to get in his truck and drive straight to Christine's house but he also knew; she was right. He needed to speak to Andrea first because she had an opinion in the matter.

He hurried through his class, told his assistant that he maybe cancelling his classes for the next day and that he would let her know. He drove by the address that Christine had provided him. He desperately wanted to stop and was humiliated by the living conditions. The house was in desperate need of new stucco and a new roof. It was in a rough neighborhood that made Mike worry for his daughters.

Instead of stopping; he drove the fifteen minutes to his own house that was well taken care, spacious but lived in. There were a ton of logistical issues and he felt a debt to Christine. No anger. It would be easy but he couldn't be that angry at a dying woman. Andrea was in the kitchen, showing Charlie how to bake a cake when he walked in.

"Hey, you're home early." Andrea said as she leaned up and gave him a kiss. Charlie was sitting on the counter, inspecting the recipe. Mike ruffled his hair and smiled at him.

"Yeah. Charlie, can I talk to Mom for a minute? Let me help you down, son." Mike asked and Charlie held his arms out. Mike picked the seven-year-old up, gave him a kiss and then sit him on his own two feet. Charlie ran into the living room and settled on the couch. Their lower floor was open concept so he would hear everything so Mike had to keep his voice down. "I got this today at work. You need to read it." Mike told her as he handed her the letter. She had the same look of shock and pain that he had.

"Mike, you know what you need to do. I am not sure where it leaves you and I but she needs and deserves your help. It'll be painful but you have to give her this." Andrea said quietly.

"Due to me having her declared deceased; she and I are no longer married. So, legally speaking, I am still married to you. I suppose she could fight it but I don't think she has any fight left in her. I know what I need to do but…I am having trouble with the idea of just taking the kids and leaving her to die. I owe her…something, I just don't know what." Mike admitted.

"You do. Go, Mike. As long as you'll be home; I'm okay. We will make it work. Christine was one of my best friends and it does make me feel better that she has no hard feelings. She very well could." Andrea ordered. He could see the pain and fear written all over her face and felt terribly.

"I will come home. I feel horribly about this. You know, I love you and all our craziness?" Mike asked as he walked across the kitchen and pulled her close.

"I love you too. We will just add to the craziness." Andrea told him with a kiss. As he held her, he could feel their baby kicking wildly. It was a reminder of everything weighing on him. He rubbed her belly before pulling away.

"Is Sarah helping you today? I didn't see her." Mike asked, speaking of their nanny.

"She took Lexi to the park. Charlie didn't want to go." Andrea told him. Charlie was homeschooled and rarely wanted to go to the park or any other normal kid outings. It created a few issues with their other kids but Mike and Andrea balanced his needs well. Their other three, Dana; who was twelve, Allie, who was nine and Paul, who was eight; seemed to understand and accept it.

"I see. I don't know what time I will be back." Mike told her.

"I understand. Just come back." Andrea begged.

"Hey; this is complicated but I still love you and I am not going to walk out on you. I think Christine understands that. I have a lot to figure out but this is home. You are my wife and the kids are still my kids." Mike tried reassuring her.

"I get that but so is she. You were forced to declare her deceased. That isn't a divorce and she hasn't died. Maybe you are legally married to me now and not her but you and I both know, you still care about her. I am not trying to sound jealous or anything but I am a realist. Your…wife is dying. It is only right that you would want to spend this time with her. It is selfish of me to think of myself and I am sorry." Andrea said hopelessly, all while rubbing her belly. She was probably wondering if he would be there for their baby's birth.

"You've made a point but you are not being selfish. I also have a pregnant wife at home. Let me talk to Christine and figure out what is going to happen. My older girls may want nothing to do with me but it is important they know; that I am out here and love them. As far as the triplets…that has just blown my mind. We will figure it all out." Mike promised.

"Mike, I am still going to worry. I know I shouldn't. I also feel badly for Christine. She doesn't deserve this sort of death. And the kids don't deserve to lose their mom that way." Andrea commented as she fixed Mike's collar.

"Granted. I better go. Call me if you need something. Hopefully Sarah is back soon." Mike commented.

"Yeah. 'Til then, it's just me and Charlie. Charlie, want to give Daddy a hug?" Andrea asked the little boy as they walked through the living room. He jumped up and gave Mike a hug and then sit back down. He still didn't talk a lot and Mike had to wonder how he would react to five new family members, along with the new baby that was due in eight weeks. Andrea stepped out on the porch with him and gave him another kiss. "You're worried about Charlie?"

"I am. He already doesn't adjust well. This maybe a bit much." Mike commented.

"Mike, we need to stay committed to him. I get that it's all a bit much but Charlie needs us." Andrea commented.

"I wouldn't dream of backing away from him. None of you. And I may very well end up losing my older girls anyway. Maybe having the triplets being the same age will help him." Mike commented as he stepped off the porch.

"It just might. Call if you need anything. I love you." Andrea told him.

"I love you too. And likewise." Mike told her as he got in the truck. He was nervous and worried. Before he backed out; he looked in the front window and saw Charlie watching him. He waved at him and then signed an 'I love you' to him. It was one of the ways that Charlie would communicate, something Dana had taught him. Charlie signed it back and gave him a rare smile. It was just the encouragement Mike needed.

Christine and his kids lived approximately fifteen minutes from him and it was not in a good area. When Mike pulled up; he noticed a beater car in the driveway and the house wasn't in good shape at all. The stucco was in terrible shape and the roof looked like it was ready to fall in. It was on the growing list of reasons that Mike hated himself. Christine deserved better conditions in her last days. His kids deserved better.

He was almost sick, walking up the pathway. Sick out of nerves and fear. Worried because of Andrea's fears, his kid's reactions, and Christine's condition. He knocked on the door and waited, knowing that Christine might be slow on her feet. Finally, the door eased open, and a shell of the woman he had married twenty-two years before was in front of him. She was emaciated, her bald head was in a scarf and she was so pale. Christine had always been the picture of health. Vibrant. She had graduated from nursing school while she was pregnant with Hilary; and had just finished her Nurse Practitioner training when Hannah was born. By the time Lucas came along; she was a midwife. That had been her goal and she loved helping woman give birth in both hospital and home environments. Before Mike left for the Arctic; she had had over five hundred live deliveries and no deaths, between either the infant or the mother. Despite their very unusual circumstances; she offered Mike a sweet smile.

"I was hoping you would come." Christine said as she opened the door for him. He crossed the threshold and immediately his heart started hurting. The house was homey enough but there were pots on the floor to catch rainwater that leaked through the porch. The air conditioner didn't work, so it was cooled using fans and there were cracks in the wall. It was not safe.

"Uh…yeah." Mike said, confused on what to do next. Hug her? Help her to the chair because she was so frail?

"Let me get you…I have lemonade. Lemonade?" Christine asked him. He followed her into the kitchen area and sat down at the table. She shuffled into the kitchen and a minute later, brought back a glass with lemonade in it. The one thing he noticed was that she was still wearing her wedding band; only on her right hand.

"Thanks. Where are the kids?" Mike asked.

"School and work. Hilary is working a double shift and Hannah will bring the kids with her. She has an after-school thing and so the triplets will be in after school care. They are about three blocks away." Christine told him.

"It's…hot in here. I'm going to take my uniform shirt off; if you don't care?" Mike asked. Normally, he wouldn't have asked but he wasn't certain how Christine would take it and knew he should have changed back at his house. He didn't think her house would be ninety degrees inside.

"Oh, that's fine. The bathroom is the first door on the left; down the hall if you need to straighten up." Christine offered and Mike got up and walked into the bathroom. There was medical equipment, including a shower chair in the bathroom; indicating that Christine needed assistance with her basic needs. The bathroom was also in terrible shape; and he immediately noticed black mold along the shower wall. He used the toilet and had to lift the lid to fix the plunger and there was no hot water for him to wash his hands. He took his phone out of his pocket and texted Andrea.

" _I'm here. This is horrific. Christine probably weighs less than a hundred pounds. No air conditioning, a roof that leaks and there's black mold in the bathroom. My kids have been living in this."_

Mike sent the text and walked back into the kitchen and sat back down; this time across from Christine. She was coughing into a tissue and the thing he noticed was the blood soaking through the tissue.

"You're coughing up blood? Do I need to get you to the hospital?" Mike asked; not knowing what else to say.

"No. I have refused any end of life measures. The cancer has pretty well enveloped my left lung, hence the blood. It's pretty much everywhere now." Christine admitted quietly. She was pale and so tired.

"Why? Surely there is something they can do?" Mike asked.

"No. They could do more chemo and radiation but the result will be the same with no quality of life. I want to have the energy to watch Hannah graduate in a couple weeks. She is supposed to be valedictorian. I need to see that my kids will be alright; whatever you decide." Christine told him confidently and he was blown away. His cellphone chimed with a text message and Mike looked down at it; it was from Andrea.

" _We have plenty of room. She could stay in the guest house. It has enough room and the kids would be close. I get that it would be awkward but if you don't suggest it; I will. I can't stand the thought of my dying friend living like that. Let alone, the kids."_

Mike was stunned by the text and the fact that Andrea had suggested it; but he didn't know how to bring it up. Especially where his kids were concerned. "Christy, I honestly don't know what to say. I feel terribly about this whole situation. I…do want to take responsibility for the kids and try to fix things with Hannah and Hilary."

"How does Andrea feel about that? She has to be okay with this." Christine asked.

"She…it's an awkward situation but she suggested we move all of you in. I have a guest house you can stay in. It is literally fifteen feet from my backdoor. I don't mean to sound judgey but this place is a pit. I can't help but to think, if we improve your living conditions; it might prolong your life and make your quality a bit better. You could help the triplets get assimilated." Mike offered and saw the shock on Christine's face.

"That is…unusual. This place is all I can afford…or Hilary rather. I can't work anymore. Too unsteady. If I agree; I can't force Hilary. However, the lease is in my name. I will encourage her. I don't think she is grasping how ill I am, or that this is the end. She also isn't understanding that raising kids is a huge sacrifice. It's one thing to ask you to make that sacrifice; they're your kids. But…she will be bound down for the next; at least, eleven years. And by default; Hannah too. Because, Hannah will feel obligated and she has been accepted Florida State. Full ride. She'll give that up and I hate that thought…I don't mean to guilt you or Andrea into anything but…I think you understand what I'm saying." Christine stated and Mike nodded.

"I want what is best for all of them, including Hilary and Hannah. I just don't know how to make this happen. Our present situation is…complicated?" Mike stated.

"Just tell her. Hilary is the linchpin. Hannah may follow Hilary's lead; but she will ultimately want what's best for me and the triplets. I can convince her. I just want Hilary with me too. I am confused on how to make that happen." Christine informed him.

"I don't know. I do know; I want you and my kids out of here as quickly as possible. There's black mold in the bathroom and no hot water. The temperature is supposed to be in the mid nineties later this week and I'm guessing you don't have air?" Mike asked.

"I have a window unit but it costs so much to run it so we don't. Not that the fans are any cheaper. If I choose to do this; what kind of situation will I be in? Or more so; the kids?" Christine asked.

"The guest house is good sized. Two bedrooms and a bathroom so it won't fit you all but we can figure something out. Has a kitchenette. Just a stove, oven, microwave, sink and fridge. There is furniture. We had our nanny living there until she got married. It is ground floor; so, no steps. We have a pool and hot tub that you can have full access too. The hot tub might make you feel better? If you choose to move in immediately; I can make it happen tonight. My guess is; you don't have a lot here?" Mike asked.

"It sounds really nice. Better than this, I assume?" Christine questioned. Mike could see the wheels turning.

"Much. The girls will probably choose to stay with you and that's fine. I do have room for them and the triplets in the main house. I will want to get them used to Andrea and I…I hate to ask but have the doctors given you an indication of…how long?" Mike asked; knowing he was choking up.

"Not really. They don't agree with my decision. Medically speaking; I would say weeks. My goal now is to just see Hannah graduate. I would love to see more, but the reality isn't good. Granted; I was a nurse for the beginning of life; not the end…but I know my body." Christine remarked and reached over and squeezed Mike's hand. It took him a moment to process and choke his emotions back. Sure; he was married to another woman whom he loved dearly, but he was not naïve enough to not think; he still had feelings for Christine and Andrea understood that.

"Do you want to make this happen today?" Mike asked.

"I want my kids out of this hellhole. I…didn't notice the black mold. Their poor lungs." Christine said as she was coughing up more blood.

"Yeah; yours too. Alright; do you need to call Hilary to explain this? I can write my address down for her? I will let you handle the kids however you see fit; just let them know, that I do want them there and I do love them." Mike stated.

"I will take care of it. Where are you going?" Christine asked as Mike stood up.

"I have friends who will get you moved. Because of our foster kids; we have beds for the kids. I would prefer not to bring any of the furniture. Clothes, that sort of thing." Mike told her.

"Okay. Yeah, that's probably for the best. Can you help me up? Sometimes I have trouble." Christine asked and started to stand. She was too weak and almost fell. Mike gently picked her up and carried her to the couch. "Bet you never thought you'd be doing that again?" Christine joked.

"No. I didn't but I have a feeling I will be doing it a lot soon. I'm gonna step out your back porch. I think I see the kids walking up and I don't want Hannah immediately confronted. Give you a chance to talk to her while I make my calls?" Mike asked and Christine nodded. As he walked out the door; he prayed that she could convince his oldest daughters to come along. He hoped they would do anything for their dying mother.


	3. Chapter 3

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 3

Mike was able to get several of his friends to help with the move and forewarned them of Christine's precarious health. He was dreading walking back into the house because he feared the kid's reaction to him. He looked into the window and saw Hannah knelt in front of Christine who was still lying on the couch. He finally manned up and walked in; and waited to be acknowledged.

Hannah looked like a younger version of Christine with long, dark hair. It was half down, with the top in a braid and she seemed very attentive towards her mother. She spoke in soft tones and Mike could hear the triplets talking in one of the bedrooms. He desperately wanted to get to know them but knew that Hannah and Hilary would be the real test. Seven-year-olds were easy to get along with. Mike had hurt his two older daughters deeply and no matter how desperately, he wanted the relationship; he may have lost the chance. He cleared his throat and Christine looked up at him. Hannah had glanced at him but looked the other way.

"Hannah, why don't you go get the clothes all packed up. We aren't taking the furniture or linens; right, Mike?" Christine asked.

"Yeah, we have all that stuff and I will deal with the landlord." Mike confirmed and Hannah stood up. He desperately wanted to have her hug him but she didn't seem to want to even look at him. Christine pulled her back down and whispered something in her ear. Hannah shook her head at her but Christine made a pleading face that Mike was familiar with. He had always melted when she did it to him and apparently it worked the same magic on Hannah because she nodded at her and stood back up to her full height. She walked up to Mike and gave him a very half-hearted hug.

"I am only doing this for Momma. It's important to her." Hannah whispered into his ear before letting him go. Despite the underlying reason; it did feel good to hold her for just a second. He hoped that Hilary would do the same thing for her mother. She walked into the bedroom area and Mike leaned down next to Christine to help her resituate.

"Mike; Hannah is hurt. Hilary is angry. Of the two of them; Hannah is the most reachable. She will do what is best for the kids and me. Just be patient. I think they will realize they need you." Christine encouraged.

"They don't need me. They haven't had me in a long time and as badly as I want them; they may not want me." Mike told her. Christine reached out and stroked his cheek.

"Just remember that you still want them. Despite the insults and accusations that will be hurled at you; just remember that you love and need them." Christine told him as one of the triplets walked out, one of the two girls. Mike immediately noticed the look of confusion on her face but she walked up to the couch.

"Momma, can we take our stuffed animals?" the little girl asked.

"Yes, of course. Maggie, this is your daddy. Remember, we talked about him?" Christine asked and the little girl nodded but leaned over with a tissue in her hand and wiped blood from the corner of Christine's mouth.

"It's nice to meet you, Maggie. And yes; you can take all your stuffed animals and whatever toys. I will help you get everything packed up." Mike assured the little girl who was intent on her mom.

"What about my dollhouse? I want a pretty wood one and so does Katie but Momma couldn't get one of the kits." Maggie told him and Christine laughed.

"She's been begging for one of this big Victorian mansion dollhouses for two years. Like Hannah and Hilary had when they were little. She saw pictures. Hannah told her that you built it for them and both girls are so jealous." Christine hinted and Mike nodded at her, he knew what she was doing. Giving him a way to bond with Maggie and possibly Katie and he was going to take the bait.

"How 'bout this, Maggie; once we get you guys and your Momma all settled at my house; I will take you and Katie and we'll pick out one of those kits and some furniture to build…or just find a picture of a house and I will make it; that's what I did with Hannah and Hilary's?" Mike asked the little girl who was nodding at him.

"That sounds good! I'll got tell Katie; she'll be so excited." Maggie told him with a huge grin on her face. She was missing her two front teeth and Mike had already fallen in love with her. Maggie ran into the back bedroom and Christine laughed.

"Good going, Mike. You have a buddy now. Maybe two because Katie is going to be just as excited." Christine told him.

"So, what about Tyler?" Mike asked.

"He loves baseball. Throw a ball around with him." Christine told him.

"I wish Hannah and Hilary were so easy." Mike commented.

"I called and spoke with Hilary. She will be home soon. Her supervisor was upset because of all the overtime she's in. She was a little more accepting than I thought she would be. She maybe seeing this as her opportunity to go to nursing school. She is still angry with you but admitted I needed to be in a better environment and we couldn't do it on her income. She is a wildcard." Christine admitted. It was a good description to how Hilary had always been.

"Good. I have some friends that will be here soon and some other friends at the house to get it ready for you and the kids. The guesthouse needs to be aired out and such. Also, just a word of warning…our youngest foster son; Charlie…he's different. He has been through a lot. Watched his sister be murdered by their dad. Doesn't talk much and probably not at all around you all. He communicates some with sign language. We've had him about a year now. The first six months, he didn't talk. And he is just now not sleeping in our bed. We have a large his and her's type closets and so he sleeps in my closet so he's close. I am not sure how he will react to this." Mike warned.

"Poor, little guy but God bless you and Andrea. I will try and warn the kids. I did tell them that you had other kids but I didn't know all the names or circumstances. Just about Charlie and your little girl…Lexi?" Christine asked.

"Yeah, Lexi. Dana is our oldest that we've adopted; she's twelve and I think you'll love her. Next is Allie who is nine and Paul is eight. Charlie is seven. Same age as the triplets, incidentally. Various stories. Andrea and I started fostering because we wanted to give the kids a chance at a normal life. My hope was if my girls were still out there and you weren't; somebody was doing the same for them. Then Lexi came along. We weren't planning on her but she's a happy mess. And Andrea is due in a couple months. I know this must be terribly uncomfortable for you and I am sorry." Mike told her.

"No. Mike, you and Andrea did a good thing and you have given those four kids a beautiful life. I am happy for you. I really am." Christine said as she squeezed his hand.

"I appreciate you being so understanding. You have a lot of reasons not to be." Mike commented.

"This sounds odd but I would really love to live long enough to help Andrea when she has that baby. I would love to deliver one more baby. How far along is she?" Christine asked as she sit up slightly.

"Thirty-two weeks. I'll talk to her." Mike promised. From what he was seeing, Christine wouldn't last eight weeks but it might give her another goal to live to. She had loved delivering babies and Mike knew she would take good care of Andrea and their baby boy.

"I would love that." Christine commented. She had just a glimmer of hope in her brown eyes and Mike wouldn't dash that and knew that Andrea wouldn't either. Mike started to stand up but a taller girl bounced through the girl; Hilary. She had grown up and was beautiful.

"Momma, I'm home. What needs packed?" Hilary asked as she came around to where Christine could see her. She didn't acknowledge Mike but it was a better reaction than he had hoped for.

"We are just taking clothes and such right now. The triplets are supposed to be working on their stuff but it would help if you would look in on them. How was work?" Christine asked as Hilary sat beside her for a moment. Christine was picking at Hilary's threadbare scrubs with a smile on her face.

"It was work. I am off tomorrow; so I will be able to finish up here and help you get settled in at Dad's." Hilary told them.

"Hil…your mom mentioned all the hours you're working. You won't have any financial concerns at my house. I would like to see you continuing to work but not like you have been. Might free you up to go to school for whatever you want." Mike told her. Hilary had listened to him but was holding her mother's hand.

"Nursing school?" Hilary asked hopefully.

"I think that might be a distinct possibility." Mike told her with a smile. He was shocked when Hilary threw herself at him and gave him a massive hug. Christine had a smile on her face, watching them and Mike smiled back at her from over Hilary's shoulder. Mike kissed Hilary's cheek and ran his hand through her long blonde hair. It might be easier with Hilary than he thought. They only pulled apart because of a knock on the door. It was Miller, Wolf and several other guys.

"Momma, you just stay right there. I will get everything packed up. I want the pictures to go with us. I don't trust the landlord." Hilary instructed Christine as Mike walked to the door. It made him wonder why Hilary didn't trust the landlord.

"Bring me a box, the newspapers and the pictures and I'll pack." Christine told her and Hilary nodded. The guys had walked in with several boxes they had had collected and Mike handed her one along with a newspaper that Wolf had. Miller started taking pictures off the wall and handing them to Hilary. Mike suspected it was going to a fast move.

Mike walked back with the boxes for the triplets. They had all their clothing and toys on the beds and between Mike and Hannah; they began packing the items. Katie was ecstatic about the dollhouse and Tyler had asked him about the pool that his mom had mentioned. Maggie had given him a hug and Katie had even given him a small smile. Hannah had still not said much else to him and Mike realized; the hurt was worse than the anger.

The packing took less than two hours and Mike had stayed back with the younger kids, getting to know them. Hannah had disappeared and Mike suddenly heard Hilary's angry voice. He immediately walked into the living area where a dirty looking guy was standing over Hilary. Wolf was at her elbow and Mike immediately figured out that it was the landlord.

"You aren't giving me notice that you're moving out. Thirty days." The man told Hilary. Hannah had appeared but had sat down next to Christine.

"Things happen. Consider this notice and I will pay their rent up to then. Now; that we are talking, you are going to listen. The roof is leaking, there is black mold in the bathroom, there is live wires everywhere and inadequate air conditioning, which you are required to provide. I will be reporting you to the housing authority." Mike told him as he got between Hilary and the man.

"Who the hell are you?" The man asked.

"None of your concern. I will have them out within the next hour. Let me write you a check now. I will work on getting the rest of the furniture out in the next week so you will get your money's worth." Mike told the man and he walked out to the porch. Mike wrote the check after getting the amount from Christin and handed it to Miller to give to him. "Make him give you a receipt and make sure you get his name." Mike told him since he had left the 'Pay to the Order of' blank. Miller and Burke stepped out and Mike could hear them arguing with the man.

"Dad, you didn't have to do that. I could have paid him when I get paid next week." Hilary told him.

"I wanted you all out of here and wanted rid of him. Don't worry about it. Let's get you guys out of here." Mike instructed and Hannah left the room again. Hilary just shrugged and walked back into the kitchen and Christine gestured for him to sit down next to her. Once he had settled, she started talking.

"You didn't have to do that. I do appreciate it though. Guess I was wrong about the girls." Christine acknowledged.

"Its okay. At least I got a hug out of them. Hilary surprised me." Mike told her quietly.

"Me too." Christine admitted. Miller and Burke walked back in and Miller handed Mike the receipt, signed by the landlord; Miller and Burke. Wolf was helping getting everything packed up and carried out and within forty-five minutes; his truck was packed, along with Wolf's Jeep and Christine's vehicle. Hilary's car would be used to transport Christine and the triplets. And Christine tried her best to walk out to the car but just couldn't quite make it. Mike picked her up and gently carried her to the car that looked like it wouldn't make it far. He texted the address to Hilary and gestured at Wolf to follow her in case there were problems with the car.

To make room; Tyler and Katie rode with him and Mike enjoyed listening to them talk. They were excited for their new life but didn't seem to realize, they were going to be faced with a horrible tragedy. The world would be a darker place without Christine in it. Mike couldn't protect them from it; but he could make their last weeks with her bright and happy and when she did die; he could love and support them through their grief. He just wished they didn't have to face their beloved momma's death so young. It wasn't fair but nothing had been fair since the Red Flu.

Mike could tell his kids were overwhelmed when they pulled up in front of his house. It was huge compared to what they had been living in. When he and Andrea had bought it; the government was trying to stimulate the economy and they got it dirt cheap. It was eight bedrooms, which worked perfectly for their large foster family. Dana and Allie liked rooming together and Paul was in a room by himself. Andrea had assured Mike that she would figure out the bedrooms. Since Charlie stayed with Mike and Andrea, there were several bedrooms up for grabs. Mike also knew that Hannah and Hilary would stay in the guest house with Christine.

Christine was able to walk on her own two feet with Mike and Miller's assistance. The triplets seemed scared of their new environment and Mike knew that his other kids would be home. He was also scared of their reactions but just as he got them to the porch, Dana swung the door open with a huge smile. Dana had a very outgoing personality and Mike and Andrea adored her.

"Hey, everyone. Here, let me help you. I'm Dana, by the way." Dana told them as she relieved Miller and took Christine's hand. Christine seemed automatically at ease with her and Mike looked back at his other kids; while slightly bewildered, they seemed slightly more comfortable.

"Let's get you to the couch, Christy." Mike told her and between he and Dana; they moved her carefully through the room. Paul and Allie were helping Andrea with something and Mike could hear other voices, belonging to Kara, Alisha and Sasha somewhere in the house. Andrea came around the corner with Lexi on her hip and smiled at the five scared kids that were hiding behind Mike.

"Hey, everyone." Andrea told them as she walked into the living room. Charlie had followed her and looked at them with an equally scared look. He sat down on the couch and then realized he had sat down next to Christine. But instead of jumping up like he would have normally, he eyed her for a moment and realized; she was no threat to him. Andrea sat down next to him to reassure him. Hilary casted a scared look but decided to lead the way and settled the kids on the couch and chair. Hannah was still looking confused and bewildered and hadn't moved an inch.

"It's okay, Hannah; make yourself at home." Mike invited. Dana had come back in with a stack of linens in her arms and paused just a moment before going upstairs.

"Do you guys want to see your rooms? You'll get to decorate them but for now; they do have bedding and stuff in them. Is it Katie and Maggie? I can't tell you two apart; you'll be together. Tyler, you'll be with Paul." Dana told them and the kids eyed their mom.

"I'll be close, guys. You can come see me anytime but you do need to stay here at your dad's. You'll be completely safe." Christine told them confidently. Mike could see the tears in her eyes and Andrea had leaned over and held her hand. Charlie had shockingly gotten on her other side and was patting her knee. Both Mike and Andrea were surprised by the little guy's reaction to Christine.

"Come on, guys. Let's go look at your rooms. Momma will be here when we come downstairs. Dad, what about us?" Hilary asked, indicating herself and Hannah.

"I thought you two might want to stay with your mom in the guesthouse. I promise, guys, its close and you can go over anytime you like and your mom will be here lots." Mike assured the kids. Hannah still seemed agitated but Hilary was taking everything in stride.

"Guys, its okay. I will be here. Your dad will take you up and Hilary will go with. Dana too. I can't handle those stairs but I won't move an inch. Katie and Maggie; I know Hannah packed her house books and magazines; maybe you can find a house you like in there for your dad to make you a dollhouse?" Christine told them and Mike smiled at them. He held out his hands and the two girls took them. Hilary took Tyler's hand and Dana led the way up the stairs. Mike felt badly for Andrea because she had to deal with Christine's emotions and Hannah's temper.

Christine wiped the tears off her face. She thought it would be easier but watching the triplets walk up the stairs had hurt. Mike was doing his best to make things easier for her and she appreciated it. His home was lovely and Andrea hadn't let go of her hand and Charlie was a little sweetheart despite whatever pain he had been through. Hannah was still looking around angrily but she had sat down on a chair and was watching Christine closely.

"So, Mike said you're thirty-two weeks along? Getting closer. And it's a boy?" Christine asked Andrea, trying to make conversation. She wanted to reach out and check for a kick but that would be awkward.

"Yes, a boy. Getting closer to thirty-three weeks. Starting to nest. Dreading the heat and being so pregnant. Lily was born in August and I was miserable; but you probably remember that." Andrea commented. Christine had been a nurse practitioner at the time and had helped deliver Lily.

"I do. Hilary and Lucas were both summer babies. I was miserable. Just relax. Don't overdue it. Make Mike do the housework and put your feet up. Walk…a couple blocks a day. Will make your labor and delivery easier. But you've had babies before and you know this." Christine advised.

"Can I tell him you said he was to do the housework?" Andrea asked with a smile.

"I will tell him myself. What's your birth plan?" Christine asked.

"I…this sounds bad but I am undecided. The government has been pushing home births and I am not opposed but the thought scares me. So many things could go wrong and I am not so young anymore." Andrea said with a worried tone. It had shocked her but Christine and she had started to strike up an old, familiar friendship. Considering they were essentially married to same man; it was odd.

"Your age factors in but you are an experienced mother. Does your doctor provide a midwife or doula? The biggest thing with home births is that you cannot ignore the fact that you just gave birth because you are home. You can't have the baby and then twelve hours later, be cooking a huge meal and doing ten loads of laundry. I always suggested that my patients spent at least three days in bed. Care for the baby but make Mike do the major lifting and take care of the other kids. If memories serve; Mike was always good about making sure that I had the proper time to recover after a birth. I'm certain he hasn't changed." Christine instructed. Both she and Andrea had caught the annoyed look on Hannah's face and the fact that Charlie was intently listening to them.

"He was after Lexi was born. Sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I am really glad you're here." Andrea stated.

"You didn't but I also didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. We are all in an odd predicament but I have no ill feelings to you or Mike. I do know one thing; Mike is an excellent coach in the delivery room and if you decide to have your baby here; you will love the more personal experience. I've had both hospital deliveries and home deliveries and the home deliveries are still my favorite. Do your research and make sure your midwife is capable. It can be just you, him and her. Not doctors, nurses, students etc. I even had a few deliveries where the father delivered the baby; I was just there for support. I loved those." Christine assured her. She had lit up talking about it and it even made Hannah smile.

"It's crazy but I really wish you could deliver this baby…bit much to ask for, huh?" Andrea stated.

"I would love to but you need a backup plan if I don't make it until then." Christine stated, hinting but not saying that she was dying, mostly for Charlie's benefit.

"Right…I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't thinking…" Andrea stated.

"It's okay. I would really love to. I even said as much to Mike. He hadn't had a chance to talk to you. We will see how things go. He seems to think that with a better living environment; I will do a bit better and he probably has a point. The idea of delivering one last baby does give me another thing to look forward to, aside from Hannah's graduation. Seven weeks? I might just make it." Christine assured her.

"I hope! Charlie, the baby is kicking. Do you want to feel him? Christine?" Andrea asked as she moved her hand to her belly and then positioned Charlie's smaller hand. The little boy loved feeling the baby and Christine had a broad smile on her face.

"Oh, he's a strong little guy! Got quite the kick." Christine said happily. She was elated to just be able to feel the baby. Andrea could be angry but she wasn't. Hannah still hadn't said a word and was becoming increasingly angry. Christine had to wonder how she had been so wrong about her. Hannah was her tender heart. The only thing she could hope for, was that Hannah would accept that Christine only had weeks left and would need to lean on her father. Christine knew that Mike desperately wanted to fix things with her and knew that if Hannah didn't make that leap; she would be miserable.


	4. Chapter 4

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 4

Christine absolutely loved the guest house. They had moved beds around and Christine had a queen-sized bed that was very comfortable, along with a view of the pool. The shower was a walk in and she remarked with her shower chair, she might be able to handle her showers alone. Hilary was not a fan of that idea but Mike could tell; she would be close by. They had moved in two double sized beds for the other bedroom for Hannah and Hilary. Kara and Sasha had made it very homey and Christine seemed to love it.

Hannah arranged the family pictures in the living area so that Christine could see them from the recliner that Mike and Danny had moved over. She was no longer strong enough to stand and cook but Andrea had already insisted; when Hannah and Hilary were at school and work; Christine would be at the main house with her.

Supper had been an interesting affair because Charlie insisted on sitting next to Christine. The other kids didn't seem to mind, thankfully but it was odd how he had attached himself to Christine. It was not uncommon to look over and see that he was holding her hand. She had even gotten a few words out of him and a big smile. It worried Mike and Andrea both because Christine was not going to be a permanent fixture in Charlie's life. Her death could be a setback for him if he became too attached but in the same respect, Christine did seem to enjoy the little boy.

The triplets were still scared but Mike and Andrea's older kids had taken them under their wing. They were used to foster kids coming in and out and helping kids adjust but they also knew; the triplets would be permanent residents. Hilary was taking everything in stride and seemed focused on getting the triplets and her mother settled in. Hannah was quiet and often gave Mike or Andrea dirty looks. She'd barely spoken a word to any of them, even seeming to be angry at her mom.

Christine stayed at the main house long enough to give the triplets hugs and kisses before bedtime. She typically tucked them in despite her lack of energy so it was particularly hard for her. She couldn't handle the stairs. Mike offered to carry her upstairs but Christine refused.

"Mike; I do appreciate the offer but they need to get used to you and Andrea. As long as I can still give them goodnight hugs and kisses; its okay. Hilary is going to help you with getting them tucked in and that will help them. It was only a matter of time before I couldn't do this anymore anyway." Christine told him quietly before he took the kids upstairs.

"I just don't want it to seem like you aren't a part of their life anymore. It isn't fair to you or them." Mike argued.

"In a couple weeks or months, I will only be a memory for them and one that will quickly fade. Its you and Andrea that will raise and love them. I have to accept that and I cannot imagine two people I would rather leave them with. It is the best case for all involved. The girls need a life. To accomplish that; its small steps. Tucking them in is the first step in many." Christine told him.

"I will not let them forget you." Mike promised. He knew that the triplets were young and the reality was, their memories of Christine would become faint no matter what he did.

"Mike, you know this story but my own momma and daddy died when I was seven. I have a few faint memories of them but that is it. I went and lived with my Auntie Kate in Alabama and she tried but the memory is a funny thing. The one thing you can do; is make sure they don't feel guilty for not remembering me." Christine begged and Mike relented.

"Alright. Hil, you ready?" Mike asked and she nodded at him. Christine stayed sitting in the living area and Hannah had gone outside and was sitting by the pool. Andrea was getting Charlie and Lexi settled down for the night and the older three kids; Dana, Allie and Paul were already upstairs; leaving Christine to her own devices downstairs.

Hilary helped Mike with the kid's night routines including tucking their blankets extra close. Tyler was slightly more independent than the girls and seemed to love that he was in a room with Paul who was older. Mike even got a few hugs and kisses out of them. Hilary knew that it would be a process but that Mike already loved the triplets, which was exactly what Christine wanted to have happen.

It took about a half hour before the triplets were asleep; along with Paul and Lexi. Allie and Dana were working on some homework but promised they would turn in soon. Charlie always took quite a bit to get to go to sleep. He was always scared to sleep for fear he would have a nightmare. On the nights that he did; he always ended up in bed in between Mike and Andrea. Mike was worried now that his family situation had changed; Charlie's adoption was in danger. They knew that his biological father was trying desperately to find family members that would take Charlie instead. Mike would never discuss that fear with anyone but would be calling the social worker in charge of Charlie's case the next morning. They also needed to not have any foster children come in at this point. He wanted to concentrate on establishing relationships with the triplets and fixing his severely fractured relationships with his daughters.

Mike helped Christine walk to the guest house with Hilary's help and made her promise if she needed anything she would call. The girls were going to help Christine get settled but he did get to give Hilary a hug. Hannah had busied herself with something and Mike was not going to force a hug when Hannah clearly didn't want to give him one.

He figured that his family would all be sleeping but when he walked in the backdoor; Dana was in the kitchen. She should have been in bed an hour before and she seemed worried about something. Dana had also had a rough childhood and tended to get worried every time a new foster child was brought in. It always took her a bit to adjust; even though she acted the part of a caretaker.

"Sis, you need to get to bed. You have school in the morning." Mike reminded her.

"I know. I will in a few minutes." Dana promised him and normally Mike would have just left her be but he felt the need to reassure her.

"What's on your mind?" Mike asked as he sat down next to her at the kitchen island and grabbed a banana to eat. Dana was working on peeling an orange but he could tell she was nervous.

"It's just…the whole reason you guys do foster care is because you felt that if your daughters were out there somewhere; you hoped someone was taking care of them the same way y'all have taken care of us. And now you have them back. I'm not sure where that leaves any of us. I don't have anybody and neither does Charlie. Paul's family gave him up and Allie lost hers during the Red Flu. I spent a lot of time in the foster care system and I had a lot of bad families before I got to you guys. I don't want the younger kids going through that if you give them up. So, if you have to get rid of one of us; let it be me. I am older and understand it better. I got lucky with you guys and I've had a good couple years. That's all kids like me get if we're lucky." Dana told him with absolute confidence. It made Mike's heart break all over again and he had no clue what to say. Normally, Andrea dealt with the kid's emotional issues. It was up to him to provide them a nice home; teach them to swim or throw a ball and just be a normal male role model who hadn't spent time in jail, beat on them or molest them.

"Dana; we adopted you. Then we adopted Paul and Allie. We are in the process of adopting Charlie. That means; we choose to make you a permanent part of our family. We choose to love you and take care of you. We handpicked you. We've had over a dozen foster children and we haven't adopted them all. Just the four of you. You are the four that are custom fit for our family. That doesn't change because I have my girls back or have the triplets. Things are going to be awkward for awhile and we may not take in any more fosters but you, Allie, Paul and Charlie are staying here. Period." Mike told her firmly and he could see the relief in her eyes.

"Hannah doesn't like us much, does she? Hilary is trying to but I think she is hurt by all this." Dana asked.

"Both girls are hurt. They feel I gave up on them and perhaps they are right. Initially, I thought Hilary was going to be harder to reach but it seems that it will be Hannah. I don't have an easy answer to this but I do want to know if she causes you or any of you kids any problems." Mike told her.

"I think she is afraid that once her mom has died; you'll throw them out. You're only doing all this to make her feel better." Dana stated.

"I am doing this to make her feel better so that she can die peacefully because she deserves to know that her kids are taken care of and loved. I am making a commitment to her and them. I have not been a perfect father and my kids have been hurt deeply by my actions. I don't know if I can fix things with Hannah or Hilary but I am not going to stop loving them or stop trying." Mike told her.

"I think she is being hateful so that if you do throw them out; it won't hurt so bad. She is afraid of being hurt." Dana told him insightfully.

"Makes sense and I have hurt her a lot through her life. Its my job to be a constant and I have been everything but." Mike agreed.

"Right. I'd better go to bed. Good night, Dad." Dana told him she leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. It was a very rare show of affection from her and she rarely called him 'dad.' She had been physically and sexually abused by her stepfather and Mike kept his distance so that she didn't feel uncomfortable.

"Night. I love you." Mike told her before she went upstairs; he knew better than to expect a reply but felt better just saying it. Dana needed to know that she was loved. One of the classes he and Andrea had taken had told them they would be giving a lot of love away; and the kids may never return that love because they had never had love demonstrated to them but they still needed to know they were loved. Maybe things weren't going to be so different with Hannah; he was going to have to give a lot of love away with the knowledge; she may not love him back. Dana had gotten up and walked back upstairs and Mike cleaned the kitchen of his and Dana's snacks. After looking towards the guesthouse and seeing that all the lights were turned off and locking up; he checked on all the kids and walked into his own bedroom. Andrea was in bed, reading and so after checking on Charlie and stripping to his boxers; he crawled in next to her and pulled her close, touching her belly.

"Baby is resting, finally. He was active for Christine earlier. She got all kinds of kicks out of him." Andrea told him as she closed her book.

"Thanks for being so understanding of all this. I know it's difficult." Mike told her as he leaned in and gave her a kiss.

"It's hard for me but I am sure it is harder for Christine; seeing her husband married to another woman. She could be angry but she isn't. And I know, you did everything you could to find them." Andrea assured him as she put her head on his chest.

"I keep thinking I should have tried harder but it would have eaten me up. At that point; Christine didn't want to be found for whatever reason and I was forced to declare them deceased. And if I hadn't, we wouldn't have this." Mike admitted quietly as he ran his hand over Andrea's large belly.

"Have you asked her why she was so angry?" Andrea asked.

"No. There just hasn't been a right time. It will come out. She did make a remark that she would love to deliver this baby. What do you think?" Mike asked.

"I actually mentioned it to her too. I am still weighing a home delivery but the hope in her eyes? I would love to give this to her. She helped deliver Lily and I loved having her there. You up for a home delivery? She said she had done both with you." Andrea asked.

"Yeah. Lucas was a home birth. Just me, her and a midwife. It was not as stressful and more intimate. She opted for a water birth with him. I was not a fan of that but it is supposedly like a natural epidural." Mike filled her in. It brought back some painful memories for him but he brushed them away.

"I don't know about a water birth; if we do this; I want to do what's easier for Christine. We have right at seven weeks and she is already in pretty poor shape." Andrea remarked.

"We'll talk to her but I don't have a problem with her delivering our little one." Mike agreed. He was still thinking about Lucas' birth. It had been almost eight years since Lucas had died but it made him incredibly sad to think about him and he was already sad enough between Christine's illness, Hannah's reaction to him, and the fact that he had seven-year-old triplets he barely knew.

"Mike, talk. You have a lot of pressure on you right now. I can't help if you don't talk." Andrea encouraged.

"I don't want to stress you out with all of it." Mike argued. Andrea essentially crawled on top of him which was interesting considering her enlarged belly and put both hands on his face.

"I will be fine. What will stress me is knowing that you're stressed and won't talk it out. I know you don't feel comfortable talking to Christine right now, so talk to me." Andrea continued.

"Okay, but is it safe to lay like this?" Mike asked.

"Probably not." Andrea agreed and Mike helped her lay down beside him on her side; and turned on his side facing her. He put a hand on her belly and was rewarded with a firm kick.

"Hannah hates me and Hilary is close. I barely know the triplets. Dana is terrified that we are going to make one of the kids leave and if it has to be one; to let it be her so that the younger kids can still have a good life. She considers herself lucky that she got three years with us. And then there is Christine. We aren't married anymore but…" Mike stopped himself from saying what was really on his mind. He was in love with two women.

"You still love her and you love me at the same time." Andrea finished his sentence.

"And what type of husband does that make me? I am basically married to two women; one of which is dying. The other is seven months pregnant with our second baby. I have moved my five children in with the five you and I have either adopted or had; and we add another one in two months. I have another son that is dead." Mike continued. He had sat up and was inadvertently playing with his wedding band. Andrea also sat up and straddled him again. Their baby was kicking wildly and she leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss.

"Mike, this is not permanent; fortunately, or unfortunately. Within weeks or months; Christine will have died. I hate that for you and the kids. Yeah, things are hard now but losing Christine will drive Hannah and Hilary back to you. They will need you. While you have the opportunity; talk to Christine about Lucas. What his last hours were like? Did he suffer? And as far as the kids are concerned, as long as we are consistent; they will know our love and their living situation will not change. I am fine with this situation; its awkward and people will look but I frankly; I don't care. It is giving that woman some peace. She can be close to her children and the husband that she loves. She can die in a clean, safe environment, possibly extending her life and she can process. I would guess; she probably hasn't had much of a chance to do that. She can make peace with you for withholding the kids from you and you can and will forgive her for it. She will be surrounded by people who love her. Is it ideal? No but it is the most possibly scenario for everyone." Andrea told him firmly.

"Not you?" Mike remarked.

"Mike, once she has died; I get you back. As weird as it is; I am prepared to share you for however long. I know that there is not a sexual aspect to this where Christine is concerned; just an emotional one. She needs her husband and that is what you are going to do. I am okay with it." Andrea told him as she stroked his face. He was totally bawled over. He had no idea what an arrangement like that entailed.

"I…what does something like that entail?" Mike felt like a moron for asking his pregnant wife what she was thinking.

"I honestly don't know. The one thing I am adamant about is the one thing I know won't be a problem. I can't see you having sex with a woman that won't have the energy to walk to the bathroom afterwards and I don't mean that crassly. The other thing that I am adamant about is; if she lives long enough; I still want you there when this baby is born. And to play an active role in the kid's lives. I do think Charlie would have a hard time understanding if you moved over there…" Andrea continued.

"I'm not. I will stay here with you. Partly because I want to be here but partly because the whole point in this is to get the triplets adjusted. I do really appreciate how understanding you are being. When the time comes; I will hold her hand if that's what is needed, will nurse her but I cannot and will not lead her on and I think she knows and understands this. I will be there for her but more so; for my kids. I do love you and I think I just fell a bit more in love with you." Mike told her as he leaned in for another kiss. The kisses were becoming more insistent when one of the kid's cried out. Both Mike and Andrea jumped out of bed. They checked on Charlie who was sound asleep and so they began checking the other kid's room. Finally, they found the culprit, Tyler. Paul had also woken up but Andrea was settling him back down so Mike could concentrate on the little boy.

"I want Momma! Why didn't she come in and tuck me in?" Tyler cried in Mike's arms.

"She's just downstairs at the guesthouse. It's okay. Do you want to sleep with me and Andrea?" Mike asked the little boy; trying to appease him.

"NO! I want Momma." Tyler continued crying and Mike picked him and carried him into his and Andrea's bedroom in hopes of not waking up all the kids. After getting Paul settled; Andrea followed him in. Tyler was not calming at all and was sobbing.

"Mike, you need to take him to Christine while you still can." Andrea instructed as she handed him his cellphone to call Hilary. He hated to but if he had any hopes of sleeping or the little boy sleeping; he had to. Hilary answered on the second ring with a sleeping sounding voice.

" _Hil, sorry to wake you up but Tyler had a bad dream and is crying for your mom. I've tried but I can't calm him. Can I carry him over to her?" Mike asked._

" _Yeah, he has those occasionally. I'll wake Momma up and unlock the door." Hilary told him before hanging up._

Tyler consented to be passed to Andrea for a moment while Mike put a t-shirt, pajama pants and a pair of slippers on and then went back to him. Mike carried him downstairs and to the guesthouse and Hilary was waiting on him with the door open.

"Its probably the unfamiliar environment. Momma's awake." Hilary told him as she followed him through the guesthouse to Christine's bedroom. Christine had the reading lamp on and was sitting up in bed. Her scarf was off and Mike was shocked to see her bald head. It made it all seem a bit more real. She was so frail anyway and the lack of hair hurt. He gently laid Tyler down next to her and the little boy octopused himself around Christine.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I got you." Christine told Tyler who was sobbing into her nightgown. Mike readjusted the blankets and covered them both up. Christine relaxed into the bed with Tyler on her chest. Hilary had disappeared and Mike leaned down and gave Tyler a kiss before shutting the light off. He also noticed the scars that were dotting Christine's chest, above where her nightgown hit. She had been through hell and it was just one more thing that he felt horribly about. He shut the light off and wished Christine a good night again. If it had been ten years before; he would have been crawling into bed next to her. Instead; he was going to go back to the main house and crawl into bed next to Andrea.

Before going back to the house; Mike peeked in and saw that Hilary had gone back to sleep. Hannah was also asleep but had her arms and left leg out from under her blanket. She had always been a restless sleeper and while it was warm; Mike knew she also loved having covers over her. She would wake up chilled. Mike took the opportunity since Hannah was not awake to give him an attitude and tucked the blankets around her. He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. It was the closest he would come to a sign of affection towards her at that point. Before leaving, he gave Hilary a kiss on the cheek and then checked on Christine and Tyler; who were both already asleep.

Mike locked the guesthouse back up and headed back to his own house. He checked on all the kids who were blissfully asleep and Andrea had also laid down and was almost asleep. He wrapped his arms around her and realized how exhausted he was. He could only hope that the next day would be better.


	5. Chapter 5

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 5

Mike was thankful that Hilary could put aside any animosity she felt towards him to help pack up the house. They moved everything into rented storage facilities and took the additional bedding and other items that they might need back to the house to be washed. Mike had called the housing authority on the landlord, especially after Hilary had told him some of the issues that they had had with him. The fact that his children and Christine had had to live like that was maddening. He offered to take Hilary out for lunch but she wanted to get back to Christine. Hannah and the kids had gone to school, which had been a feat of almost epic proportions.

When Mike and Hilary got back to the house, Christine was at the main house with Charlie on her left side and Lexi on her right, reading to them. They had taken to calling her Aunt Christine because explaining the relationships to them was too complicated. He was a little confused by them anyway.

In any case, Charlie and Lexi were very taken with Christine and Mike didn't mind. It worried him that they would become too attached and then would lose her. For a child with Charlie's issues; it could be a catastrophic loss. One that would sit him back considerably. He helped Hilary carry in the items she had chosen to bring to his house and then she went back to the guesthouse to take a shower. They had both gotten hot and sweaty at the rental house; but Mike wanted to check in with Andrea first who was in the kitchen.

"How's things?" Mike asked as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He had been careful about not displaying any affection towards Andrea around Christine but Christine couldn't see from where she was sitting.

"Wore out but Christine has kept the kids occupied; even helping Charlie with his schoolwork. Sarah is a little weirded out by all this. Today is fortunately her day off. And Hannah threw a bit of a fit before I took her to school." Andrea told him as she turned around and faced him.

"I'm sorry. What was Hannah mad about?" Mike questioned as he rubbed Andrea's shoulders.

"Everything. She hates her living situation, and all of us. Except Christine of course. Everyone else is dirt beneath her feet. And she was horrible to Charlie today. Thankfully, he didn't understand what she was saying." Andrea complained.

"What did she say?" Mike asked.

"Just that he was a pain and to leave her mom alone. Christine didn't hear it and I didn't want to bother her with it. She has enough to deal with." Andrea told him. He knew she was cutting a lot out.

"I really don't understand it with Charlie. And it worries me. I do have to call the caseworker. Are you in agreement, no more foster kids right now?" Mike asked.

"I agree. We need to concentrate on this." Andrea said.

"Alright. I'll call her. I do want to continue with Charlie's adoption." Mike state and Andrea nodded.

"I definitely want our little guy. Christine just lights up with him. I taught her a few signs for when he doesn't want to talk but she has gotten more out of him than anyone. It is unreal." Andrea said with a smile.

"Alright. I will run up and take a shower and then call. I hope it doesn't provide a problem." Mike said with a worried tone as he looked towards Charlie.

"We'll see. Go, you smell and smells still bother me." Andrea instructed.

"Aye, Aye." Mike replied before giving her a kiss and going upstairs. He showered quickly and then sat down on the bed to make the call. Their caseworker, Rose; was good at her job but was overwhelmed. She knew the kids were safe with Mike and Andrea so she rarely checked on them.

" _Hey, Rose; it's Mike Slattery. How's our favorite caseworker?" Mike asked._

" _Busy. Charlie's dad has made his last notice to the newspapers. If no family comes forward; it is…what is it you Navy people say…all ahead to adoption?" Rose joked._

" _Something like that. But we do have a fly in the proverbial ointment." Mike responded._

" _Uh, oh. I don't like the sound of this." Rose said with a concerned tone._

" _Remember when we told you about our first marriages and kids? Andrea's first husband and oldest daughter died and I only had confirmation on my son dying? Was forced to declare Christine and my daughters deceased." Mike started._

" _Yes. I am starting to get sick to my stomach." Rose said._

" _Christine and my girls are alive. Christine is dying from cancer. She was pregnant with triplets that I didn't know about and somehow, they have survived through everything. They are all living here now." Mike said._

" _Oh, my God. Mike, that means you're married to two women." Rose said quietly._

" _I declared Christine deceased and have the paperwork stating that. I am good, legally speaking. This is more…emotional." Mike argued._

" _I agree but if Charlie's dad gets ahold of this…it will call into question your morals and everything. And the judge may agree. I have to turn this in. Mike, you need to prepare yourselves. You may lose Charlie by tonight." Rose said sadly._

" _Where the hell would he go? He has done better in the last twenty-four hours than he has ever done. He loves Christine. I don't understand it but he does." Mike raged._

" _I will try but I can't make any promise. I suggest you pack his things and say your goodbyes. I am sorry." Rose apologized before she hung up._

Mike walked into the little room where they had Charlie's belongings. It was just a closet, albeit large. He grabbed a suitcase and put Charlie's clothing in it; along with his teddy bear and other favorite toys. He knew Charlie would be going to a group home which meant he wouldn't be keeping his toys but Mike wouldn't feel right about not sending them. He didn't hear Andrea walk in.

"I guess the conversation didn't go good?" Andrea asked with tears in her voice.

"She is going to have to turn it in. Is afraid it will look badly. Do we say anything to him? She isn't sure she is going to have to take him." Mike explained as they sat down on Charlie's little twin sized bed.

"I don't know. Do you think Christine…would talk to them…explain?" Andrea asked. The tears had overflowed and Mike had taken her hand in his.

"I can speak with her. I am sure she wouldn't mind to but I am not sure it will do much good. Maybe explain her reasons for not surfacing." Mike stated.

"Poor Charlie. Let's leave this up here until we know for sure. I don't want to upset him unnecessarily. I will occupy the kids and Hilary while you speak to Christine. How did things go with Hilary, by the way?" Andrea asked as Mike helped her off the bed.

"It went as well as I could have expected it to. Maybe a bit better." Mike stated as they walked down the steps. As soon as they got to the first landing, they saw Christine working on Charlie's math with him and Lexi was sitting on Hilary's lap, coloring. Mike had figured out that Hilary did seem to like Lexi; and it was something that he would use to draw her in. "Hey, Christine; I need to talk to you for a second. Andrea will help Charlie. Need help?" Mike asked as he offered her his hand. She took it and he gently helped her off the couch. Hilary had a worried and protective look on her face but Mike simply nodded at her, communicating that he would not harm her. They walked outside and sat down at the patio table.

"What's wrong, Mike?" Christine asked.

"I had to call Charlie's caseworker since our adoption is still in process. She is concerned about the moral implications of our situation. How it will look. She is calling the judge but thinks she is going to have to take Charlie away. His dad, although, he is prison for murder; has fought his adoption every step of the way. He would use this…you; to prevent it from happening. I know I should be concentrating on our kids but you've been around Charlie. He's…special and genuinely fear if he is taken away; what will he go through. You can imagine the group homes." Mike explained to a horrified Christine.

"Oh, my God, Mike. I never imagined…if I had…I wouldn't have…What can I do?" Christine asked.

"First of all; I would have wanted to know about the kids. You didn't do anything wrong. I might need you to explain why you stayed away for so long, why you surfaced now and that our situation is…what is our situation? They are viewing it that I am married to two women." Mike asked.

"Mike, you are married to Andrea. We are…co-parents, friends? I am good with that. Yes, I still love you but they don't need to know that. I will help you keep Charlie. You and Andrea have shown me more kindness than I could ever imagine. Certainly, more than I deserved. I withheld your children from you and because of that; I am afraid that things will never be alright between you and Hannah. Hilary is…complicated. Kind of a mixed bag. She has really taken a shine to Lexi, though." Christine said quietly.

"Can I ask why? For me, not the caseworker." Mike asked.

"It's complicated. Things had been rough between you and I before you deployed. Still, we managed to still get pregnant with the triplets. I think they were conceived the night before you left. I had been on antibiotics for a tooth so my birth control was rendered useless. You left; and about six weeks later, things went to pot. I was beginning to wonder then if I was pregnant; but then Lucas got sick. He had been exposed at the day camp he had wanted to go, the summer class about dinosaurs? Anyway, I couldn't be there when he died but I was close. The nurse played him the recordings of you reading to him and he died quickly. The doctor told me…this is kind of controversial and you may have an issue with it; with kids, they would give them morphine and sometimes…a lot of the time; they deliberately overdosed them. I am certain that happened with both Lucas and Lily because of how quickly and painlessly they went. Anyway, I got Hilary and Hannah out of Norfolk. To Deer Park. I will admit…I was so angry. Not just at you, at the situation, at the Navy. Anyone and everybody. Another six weeks went by and I began to realize; despite the lack of food; I was gaining a lot of weight but only in my stomach and I hadn't had a period. Initially I thought it was because of the stress but I finally admitted…I was pregnant. When you called; the connection was bad and I was still angry. I should have told you about the triplets…or baby, as I thought then. I didn't. I honestly didn't even want to see you ever again at that point." Christine explained.

"Why did you leave Deer Park?" Mike asked.

"Rumors of the Immunes. The leader of the camp was concerned with me being a Navy spouse; I would be a target. He found a van and I called and spoke with my trainer from when I was learning to be a midwife. She was outside of Mountain Home, Arkansas. About as far into the Ozark Mountains as you can get. It might have been into Missouri. I don't know. I got myself and the girls there, knowing I would need help with the delivery. She confirmed I was pregnant and suspected…we couldn't say for sure, without an ultrasound; that it was a multiple birth situation. We stayed there. It was safe; down something less than a loggin' trail. More like a goat path." Christine continued.

"And?" Mike asked.

"I carried them through until thirty-six weeks. Lucky for triplets. It was a difficult birth and seemed to last for hours. Just me and Anne. Hilary wanted to help but she was young, still. I wasn't a fan to her witnessing it all. Finally, thirty-six hours later; Tyler made his appearance, followed by the girls. Maggie and then Katie. Despite being too early and small, they were healthy, thankfully. Such good babies. I healed up and Anne needed help on the farm. We were cut off from society and once I did come back up; the twins were nearly a year old." Christine told him.

"I would have been in Asia by then. I had looked everywhere for you and the girls. Hired investigators and Tom handled them while I was deployed." Mike encouraged.

"I was still a little angry but it changed when I found out you had been a P.O.W. Started to cool down a bit. Not enough to try and make contact but it's hard to explain. Seeing those videos of you, held hostage. It changed me. You were hurt. I obviously didn't let the girls see them. Then the coup with the government happened and we were back without a way to contact you. Plus; I didn't have any of our military dependent I.D.'s."

"And I was sent to the Med after that. The Red Rust has started. How did you manage?" Mike asked.

"Not easily. It was a struggle, every single day to just feed the kids. To stay alive. The starvation effect on people…people went crazy. It was horrifying what people would do for a gallon of milk or loaf of bread; including Anne. Aunt Kate had taught me how to take care of farm animals and such and while it was hard; I managed. We were still cut off from society and time got away from me; due to working so hard. By the time, I even went back to town; to where I could check on you, the triplets were three and you had declared us deceased. I understand your reasoning and I know how much it must have hurt you. I went back to using my maiden name and the kids…I didn't intend on it, but they did the same. Legally, when things came back online and I could file for birth certificates for the triplets and such; you were listed as their father and legally, their last names are Slattery. They just took to using Adams when they went to school and the girls did it out of anger." Christine continued.

"So, how did we get here?" Mike asked.

"About eight months ago, I found the lump on my left breast. I finally found a doctor who would treat it and they did the surgery but the cancer was everywhere. Since the Red Flu; medicine is not like it used to be. I might have stood a chance before but now? Not so much. I tracked you down and saved my money to move here. It took me a bit to get the courage to find you and when I started coughing up blood; I kind of had to. I have explained my reasoning for not wanting to leave the triplets with Hilary and Hannah. I want them to have a life. A future. I think you understand?" Christine asked.

"I do. I want that for them too. Even if Hannah doesn't like it. Of all this; that hurts the most." Mike admitted.

"I know. And I wish I could fix it. I think…I honestly think she is simply hurt but is using anger to disguise that and now; Hilary is trying to adjust. She feels betrayed. I am going to be working overtime to make her realize that it was not you that choose this. If you had had your choice…I have no idea but you would have been there for them. I do know that much." Christine told him as she reached over and squeezed his hand.

"I would have. This is not all on you. I should have looked harder before giving up and giving in. I know I should be angry but I just can't. I want to keep Charlie, get to know the triplets and fix things with Hilary and Hannah. I know I want a lot but I cannot just abandon Hannah no matter how badly she treats me. I will not allow her to treat the kids badly though." Mike said quietly; not wanting to hurt Christine.

"I am going to give her a lecture when she gets home from school for what she said to Charlie. She was also a bit rough with Lexi. I put a stop to it but I will be dealing with it. Let me. Right now, things are a tender balance and she needs to see you as a loving dad; not one that is automatically punishing or lecturing her. I know it sounds silly but kill her with kindness. Concentrate on that; just be kind and loving to her. I will handle everything else. I do think there is some jealousy going on too. You have been out of her life for eight years and she has missed you terribly. I know she has caused it but you've kept her at an arm's length distance since yesterday. Not hugging her or kissing her. I get why you haven't but maybe it might help?" Christine suggested.

"Could be. I will make a point. So; you ready to go back in?" Mike asked as he stood up.

"Yes, thank you; kind sir." Christine said with a smile. It was a throwback to their days when they were dating and newly married. Christine had always told Mike that he had a kind heart, regardless of how he acted. He didn't want that widely known. He helped her up and guided her to the main house. As he walked in; Rose was standing in the kitchen with Andrea and a sense of dread filled him.

"The judge is not thrilled but agrees that Charlie doesn't need to take him out of this environment since he is thriving. There is an emergency hearing a week from tomorrow. It will evaluate rather this is the proper placing for Charlie." Rose explained to Mike.

"I…see. Rose, this is my…uh…" Mike stumbled.

"Ex-wife, Christine. This is not Mike or Andrea's fault; and I will be happy to testify or write an affidavit in their support to keep that little boy here. He shouldn't be taken from here because of my poor choice. Mike and Andrea love him and he is a delightful little boy." Christine told Rose as she shook her hand. Mike could tell that both Rose and Andrea were a little shocked. Hilary was keeping Charlie and Lexi occupied in the living room but walked into the kitchen with the other adults.

"I agree with my momma. That little boy should be left here. My dad is a good dad and I am happy to share him with Charlie and these other kids. And my name is Hilary Slattery if you need that for your report." Hilary told Rose as she walked by her and grabbed an apple from the bowl, washed it and then walked back into the living room. Christine had a huge smile on her face, and Mike and Andrea were totally blown away. Rose also looked a bit surprised.

"Alright. I will put that in the report. Just crossing our fingers that the dad doesn't get ahold of this. Although, his rights have been terminated. If no family steps forward; he doesn't have a lot of say. That's what the judge says anyway. By the way, you have a new judge. I will get the time of the hearing to you. Best of luck. Mrs. Slattery…uh…Christine, if you could put into writing what has occurred the past seven and a half years, that might help." Rose said with an embarrassed look. She had mis stepped; there were two Mrs. Slattery's in the room.

"I certainly will. Mike, can you help me to the couch? I am worn out now." Christine asked Mike who guided her towards the couch while Andrea guided Rose to the side door. Hilary was playing on the floor with Charlie and Lexi while eating her apple. As soon as Mike got Christine settled; he knelt next to Hilary and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you. That meant a lot. I love you, Hil. And I know you may not love me back anymore but I do appreciate what you just did." Mike whispered in Hilary's ear.

"I am still a bit upset with you, Dad; but I can't let that little boy get taken away if I can help it. He is precious. As far as not loving you anymore; I do love you. I just don't exactly like you right now. But that will get better because it's important to Momma that we all get along. And I will work on Hannah." Hilary told him quietly and he nodded. It was the most he could hope for.

"I will take that and it is okay." Mike told her as he kissed her on the forehead and stood back up. Christine had already fallen asleep and Andrea had sat down on the other side of the couch with Lexi on her lap, feeling the baby kick. Mike sat down in his recliner and relaxed back. He was going to enjoy an hour of peace before Hannah showed up. It made him feel like a horrible father, that he dreaded seeing a daughter that forty-eight hours before, he thought was dead.

 **I get that the season premiere kind of debunked all this but that is the joy of fanfic! AU! Hope you all enjoyed. Please review. I love reading them.**


	6. Chapter 6

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 6

Hannah was just as rude as she had been that morning and it took everything Mike had not to react. Instead, he took Maggie and Katie to a store and they found a kit they liked but wanted certain other things for their dollhouse; so, Mike took a picture of it with the promise that he would build them something bigger and better. They were happy and Mike knew the list of what they wanted would be growing. Their innocence was refreshing and Mike took them for ice cream before supper, which was apparently not something Christine would have done.

When they got home; Tyler was playing on the floor with Paul and Charlie. It was unusual for Charlie to join in with kids his own age. Normally, if he did play, it was with Lexi. Christine was still napping on the couch and Hilary was helping Andrea with dinner and keeping an eye on Lexi. She was really trying hard to adjust and to help her younger siblings. Mike gave Andrea a kiss and stole a carrot stick from Hilary's pile.

"Where's Hannah?" Mike asked.

"Over at the guesthouse, studying." Hilary told him after slapping his hand from the carrots.

"I see. Kids behave?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, they were good." Hilary told him with a smile. Hannah walked in and groaned when she saw Mike. As she neared Maggie and Katie; she saw the chocolate on Katie's chin from the ice cream that Mike hadn't bothered to wash off. It wasn't that big of a deal and Christine wouldn't mind. She had always been big on spoiling the kids.

"Katie, what's on your chin?" Hannah asked.

"Daddy took us for ice cream before we got home." Katie told her innocently and Hannah looked to Mike.

"You took them for ice cream before dinner?" Hannah asked.

"Yes." Mike answered.

"We don't do that. You should know better. I don't remember you ever doing stuff like that." Hannah lectured and Mike's temper was flaring.

"I won't make a habit of it. It really isn't a big deal." Mike told her; trying to keep his voice down.

"You barely know them and you are already turning them into spoiled, little…" Hannah's voice had raised and she was standing toe to toe with Mike.

"Hannah…enough." Christine said as she sat up on the couch and slowly stood up. The kids had all gotten quiet and Charlie was shaking in fear. Mike nodded towards Hilary who took his cue and headed all the younger kids upstairs. It was just Mike, Andrea, Hannah and Christine.

"Seriously, Mom? You're taking his side?" Hannah asked.

"Yes, I am. Hannah; do you not remember all the times that I would pick you up from school and take you for ice cream…before dinner? I would drop Hilary and Lucas off to your dad and take you. I did it with them too but that was always our thing. Your dad was simply doing what I did many times with you. Its what parents do. Sometimes it isn't so much about not feeding your child dinner before they get ice cream as it is spending time with them. In your dad's case; he needs the opportunity to get to know the triplets. I am leaving them in his care. Not yours and not Hilary's. His and Andrea's. Because I trust them, because I want you and Hilary to have a chance at a normal life and not saddled with raising your siblings for the next; at least eleven years. Because your dad deserves a chance with them. You need to understand…I made the decision to stay away. And your dad was forced to do what he did. I get you are mad and upset with him but it is misplaced. It's me that you need to be mad at. I will also say…your dad could have taken you and the triplets and made me die in that house; but he and Andrea didn't. What they have done is incredibly sweet and selfless. It puts them in an incredibly weird spot. They are running the risk of losing Charlie because of what I did. Now; I am choosing to help them with that. ENOUGH, Hannah!" Christine lectured as she walked across the living and dining room. Mike was concerned for her but all that she had said was true.

"Hannah, I not only want to take the triplets to be there for them but also to be there for you and Hilary. To give you the opportunity to go to college and not have to worry about Tyler's ball fee, Maggie's ballet or Katie's art class. Give Hilary a chance to go to nursing school. Give you a chance to go to FSU like you've earned. No, I have not been a part of your life for many years and am just now a part of the triplet's lives but that doesn't mean I stopped caring or loving you or your sister. And just because I have and love Andrea now; does not mean that I stopped loving your mom. As your mom said; this is a very weird situation. You are seventeen. I don't expect you to understand this because I don't understand it. You just need to know; I loved you all along and nothing you can do or say is going to change that." Mike added in. Andrea had come up behind him and touched his back, lightly and then gave Christine her arm to help her stand. They were all just waiting on Hannah's response.

"I…I'm going to go back over there. I don't want supper." Hannah said as she dodged out of the dining room, through the doors, into the backyard and over to the guesthouse. Mike, Andrea and Christine looked at each other in complete confusion.

"Should I go over there or give her space?" Christine asked. Neither Mike or Andrea really had an answer.

"Why don't I go?" Andrea asked. Both Mike and Christine looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"Honey, that probably isn't such a good idea." Mike told her and Christine nodded in agreement.

"She…is struggling and she has every reason to. I think she needs someone who isn't a parent. I'll be okay. Christine, can you watch the soup; please?" Andrea asked and Christine nodded. Andrea walked outside and over to the guesthouse and walked in without knocking.

"She won't hurt Andrea, Mike." Christine told him as they watched her walk into the guesthouse.

"I know. I just wish I could crack through that shell of hers." Mike stated.

"You are. Just be patient." Christine told him as she went around and started stirring Andrea's soup.

"I don't want them blaming you either." Mike stated.

"I have an advantage. Its hard to be mad at a dying woman. And thank you for what you said earlier." Christine told him as she tasted the soup and then added more salt.

"It's true. And it's weird." Mike said with a smile.

"Mike; I get it. You are Andrea's husband and I don't have a problem with it. Doesn't mean that I don't miss what you and I had at one point but I respect what you're doing. We had some good times. Remember…I think we sent the kids to your mom and went to Virginia Beach for our anniversary? We went to an amusement park and rode all the rides." Christine reminisced.

"And I got food poisoning? You had to spend the next two days taking care of me. Not anyone's idea of a good time." Mike reminded her.

"I am a nurse so it wasn't a big deal to nurse my husband. It was the gas station sushi. I have never seen you so sick." Christine said with a laugh.

"I knew that was a bad idea. I run the other way when I see that stuff now…I don't even like regular sushi much now." Mike admitted.

"Hannah loves sushi." Christine commented and Mike immediately what she was hinting at.

"So, I need to overcome my fear of food poisoning and take my daughter for sushi?" Mike asked.

"Not gas station sushi?" Christine told him.

"That might be better. I'll take her…if she will get in a vehicle with me." Mike agreed.

 **Guesthouse**

Andrea made her way through the guesthouse and finally found Hannah sitting on her bed and looking out the window. She had a framed picture in her lap of Mike, Christine, Hilary, Hannah and Lucas. The poor girl had tears on her face and looked at Andrea oddly when she sat down next to her.

"I get it. I'm not the person you expected to see." Andrea said with a sigh and then rubbed her belly. The baby was kicking wildly.

"No. I figured my mom or my dad would come over here." Hannah admitted.

"They wanted to but sometimes its better to talk to someone who isn't your parent. Granted, I am your stepmom but I'm it. Like it or not. So, tell me what's going on?" Andrea ordered.

"I…just wish things could go back to what they were like before…" Hannah admitted as she sit the picture on the bedside table.

"Me too." Andrea agreed.

"You do? You have a beautiful house and everything?" Hannah asked as she drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on top of them.

"I have a beautiful house and family but I don't have everything. I don't have Lily. Hannah, we all lost people. We lost time. I promise, your dad never stopped missing you or Hilary. And you and Hilary are the reason why we have Dana, Allie, Paul and Charlie. Lexi was not necessarily planned and this baby was a little surprise but its because of you and Hilary. I think we both wanted to replace the feeling we had when we had it all; not realizing we would never have that again. You know how in the anti-drug classes in school, they tell you that you can't surpass your first high? It's kind of like that. As good as what we have it now; it isn't perfect because there are people missing and, in a few weeks, or months, there will be another person missing. Your mom. And I know, your dad will grieve for her. He may love me but your mom was his first love. Just as Bill was mine. You can never surpass that euphoria. Now, can I ask why you have been so rude to all of us?" Andrea asked.

"I don't know." Hannah said simply and Andrea shook her head.

"I think its because you are afraid. You are afraid that once your mom dies, you will be alone so it's easier to hurt your dad now then to have him hurt you later." Andrea commented and Hannah looked at her. She had hit the nail on the head.

"Y…yeah. I think once Momma dies, he is just going to make me and Hilary move out and we'll never get to see the triplets. We won't have anything or anyone." Hannah admitted.

"You are wrong about him. He will be there for you girls and we will be here when its time for you to come from college. He is so excited that he will get to see you graduate high school and go to college. You will have a place and a family but you have to let us in. I promise you, being alone…it sucks. Your dad and I both tried that and it was horrible. We don't want that for you. Your mom doesn't want that for you. That is why she contacted your dad. She wanted you and Hilary to have a soft place to fall and for the triplets to have someone who could parent them and not have to sacrifice everything. We all knew what you girls would have had to sacrifice to raise them and we didn't want that for you." Andrea assured her.

"I am really glad he is going to be there for my graduation. Course, I didn't want to tell him that." Hannah said with a slight smile. Andrea knew she was getting through to her; slowly.

"I think he knows. Hannah, there is nothing wrong with needing people. You are about to go through a very trying time. Your mom is an absolute jewel. This world is going to be a dark place without her in it. You need people to lean on and that is what your dad wants to give you. What I want to give you." Andrea encouraged her as she moved to the head of the bed and wrapped an arm around Hannah. She was shocked when Hannah wrapped both arms around her. Then the baby made his opinion known with a sharp kick. Hannah drew back and looked at Andrea in shock.

"Was that the baby?" Hannah asked. She had a strange smile on her face, very similar to Mike's smile when he felt the baby kick.

"Yeah. He just likes to kick people. Does it to your dad all the time. Here?" Andrea said as she positioned Hannah's hand over the baby and she was immediately awarded with another kick.

"He's strong! What's his name?" Hannah asked.

"Uh…we're struggling with that. Your dad wants to name him Logan Thomas. I like Matthew Thomas." Andrea told her.

"I like Matthew better." Hannah said as she stayed concentrating on Andrea's belly.

"Me too. I have no idea where Logan came from. I do kind of like it but we'll see. I also like Christopher or Christian." Andrea said with a laugh.

"That…sounds like Momma's name?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah. I haven't mentioned it to your dad. We both want her to deliver this baby if she can. She wants to deliver one more. I just like the idea of naming him after her…sort of, since he's a boy." Andrea confided.

"She would be so happy. I know she's hanging on for my graduation. I would love to see her get to deliver another baby. She would always be so happy when she delivered one. She hasn't coughed anymore blood up since we moved in here. I think it was the mold hurting her." Hannah told her.

"Could be. You ready to go back over? I'm hungry." Andrea asked.

"Yeah. I guess I need to apologize to Dad?" Hannah asked as they both stood up.

"Probably wouldn't hurt and to your mom too. You've added a bit of stress that she doesn't need." Andrea stated.

"Yes, ma'am. I was just afraid of getting hurt if Dad or you wanted us out. This can't be easy for you." Hannah stated as they walked through the guesthouse.

"It isn't but only because I know I am about to see a good friend die, my husband and you guys hurt and I know that's going to be painful. The whole situation is awkward but we will make it work." Andrea assured her as she wrapped an arm around her. They were walking across the back patio and Andrea could see Mike setting the table. She hoped the kids were still upstairs so Mike and Hannah could have some privacy. She felt Hannah tense up under her arm and Andrea squeezed her shoulder. "It'll be okay." Andrea assured her as she opened the French Doors. Hannah pulled away from Andrea and ran straight to Mike, who sit the plate down he was holding and she hugged him tightly. Andrea moved around her to give the moment they needed and stood beside Christine in the kitchen.

"It's good to see that." Christine commented as she watched Hannah and Mike hugging.

"I think she turned a corner." Andrea told her and Christine nodded.

"Thank you for talking to her. Mike and I were at a loss." Christine admitted.

"Not a problem. Alright, I'll take this to the table." Andrea said as she picked up the pot of soup and Christine grabbed the plate of bread. Mike finally pulled away from Hannah but gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"I'd better go upstairs and get the kids. I love you." Mike told Hannah and she nodded.

"I love you too." Hannah replied and then looked around uncertainly. "Can I eat here with you guys?" She asked.

"Of course." Andrea answered as Christine pulled Hannah into a hug. It made Andrea's heart hurt, knowing that Christine would not be able to give her children many more hugs. That is where Andrea would come in. She would give them the hugs that Christine couldn't.


	7. Chapter 7

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 7

The hearing was going to be a fiasco. The judge had granted Charlie's father to be there. He was still blocking the adoption despite having found no family. Charlie also had to be there. Mike and Andrea's attorney tried to block it but the little boy would have to face his father again. Christine, although not feeling well, had also insisted on coming. She had written an affidavit explaining why she had stayed away so long, that she didn't consider herself married to Mike any longer and that their living situation was in two separate houses. Surprisingly, Hilary and Hannah had also written affidavits in support of Mike and Andrea.

Things with Hannah had gotten slightly better. Both Hilary and Hannah were still very hurt by Mike's actions but they were both trying really hard to get past it, mostly for their mom's benefit. Mike made a point to spend time with both of them. He took Hannah out for sushi one night and to play a game of hoops with Hilary one afternoon. It was not going to be an easy road for any of them and Christine's health was a looming problem. Knowing that she was doing slightly better but was still going to die caused Mike and both girls a lot of pain.

Christine had a tendency of getting up in the early hours of the morning and sit by the pool with a cup of coffee. Sometimes Mike joined her. The day of the hearing; she was sitting at the patio table looking at some pictures when Mike came out with two cups of coffee. Mike sat down next to her and smiled at the pictures.

"Pictures of the kids?" Mike asked as he looked over them.

"Yeah. I want to scrapbook them; I think. Easier for the kids. I didn't get as many of the triplets but have a few. I want you to have them so you can familiarize yourself with their early childhoods. Since I was diagnosed, I have made a point to have them all developed. I don't know what to do with the ones of Lucas." Christine admitted as she pulled one out of Lucas when he was about a year old. He had ahold of both of Mike's hands and was mastering taking a step.

"I have some too. I like having them out. Sometimes telling the kids about him is painful but I refuse to hide behind his loss. I wish I could have told him goodbye…told him that I loved him, so many things." Mike said quietly as he brushed his fingers over the picture.

"He knew, Mike. Those recordings helped him. I couldn't be there with him when he died but it was fast, and they kept him so medicated that he didn't hurt. I watched through the window. Most of those deaths were horrific but Lucas and Lily were lucky. They died together. Same hospital room. Bill had already died and I think hearing your voice on those recording helped Lily too. Familiar. They died within minutes of one another. Lucas first. I stayed there until Lily died. Just felt…right? I could talk to them through a speaker and continued talking to her. I think in the end; she thought my voice was Andrea's. They were both so brave." Christine stopped talking because she was crying too hard. Mike also had tears rolling. It had been several years but sometimes the hurt was still so fresh.

"I really miss him. A lot." Mike finally commented.

"Me too. His birthdays are rough but Hannah and Hilary like throwing him a little birthday party. I imagine they will want to do the same once I'm gone. I know it will hurt but could you please do that for them? For me?" Christine asked and Mike nodded.

"I always try and mark it in some way. It would be easy not to but if I didn't; it would make it seem like he didn't exist. I don't want that. I think that is what hurts the most. That because of the circumstances; it's like our boy just stopped existing. Like he never existed." Mike said quietly.

"That bothers me too. I have already spoken with the funeral home about what grave marker I want. The one I've picked out has Lucas's name, date of birth and date of death on it. Its purely symbolic. More for my comfort then anything. Not sure it will matter much to the kids and you probably don't care too much." Christine remarked.

"I do care. I know I will be taking the triplets to that grave and seeing that may help me. I appreciate that thought." Mike commented as he dried his own tears.

"I don't want any of the kids spending too much time there. Especially the triplets. Once I am gone; I know they will grieve but it is important to me that they recognize that you and Andrea are their parents; hence moving them into your house. It makes it easier for them; I hope. I know from experience; losing a parent at such a young age is traumatizing but I don't want their every moment of happiness dictated by the fact that I'm not there. I will be there is spirit but you and Andrea will be there physically. In time, you and she will be who they seek out for comfort and love. They are still bonding but it will happen." Christine commented as she took a drink of her coffee.

"You've given this a lot of thought." Mike said quietly.

"I have. The triplets will slowly adjust. Its Hilary and Hannah that I worry about." Christine agreed.

"You know I will be there for them. Will help them. Andrea told me what Hannah's fears were. She's scared that once you pass; I will force the older girls to move out and they'll never get to see the triplets. Won't have anyone." Mike stated.

"I know. I think the only way to prove it to them is to prove it to them. They may try and distance themselves after I'm gone. Make a point to still be present in their lives. Mike, due to me; they are used to you not being a part of their lives and know they can get by without you. It is important that they know that you can't get by without them. You need them. Hannah and Hilary are both very selfless and you are going to have to take advantage of that." Christine told him firmly.

"I hate talking about all this. I just want things to be okay." Mike argued and after laughing, Christine reached over and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.

"I know. You were always like that. Just wanting everything to be okay. And Mike, it will be." Christine commented and then dropped her hand like she had done something wrong by touching him. It was a difficult subject that they hadn't talked about. He and Andrea really didn't touch or kiss around Christine either.

"I'd better go help Andrea with the kids. Do you need help up and with these pictures?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, please." Christine said as Mike took her hand and helped her to a standing position and then grabbed the pictures. He followed Christine to the guesthouse and was greeted by his smiling, oldest daughter when he walked in. She was getting ready for work and was in her scrubs, preparing her lunch for the day.

"Hey, Dad. Sorry I can't be there today for you all. I will be off at four and will help Sarah with the kids." Hilary told him as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Its alright. Hopefully, we will be bringing Charlie home with us." Mike stated quietly.

"I hope. Poor, little guy." Hilary said as she grabbed her lunch sack and then gave Christine a hug and kiss. "Momma, don't you overdo it today." Hilary stated while giving both Mike and Christine a warning look before walking out the door.

"When did she become the parent?" Christine said with a laugh. Mike just shook his head and nodded at Hannah as she walked in with her bookbag. He never knew what kind of mood she would be in. Sometimes, she was still incredibly angry at him despite the positive steps forward. Today, was apparently one of those days.

"What?" Hannah questioned.

"Just acknowledging you. I hope you slept well—" Mike argued.

"Not like you care. I'm going to be late to school. Momma, why didn't you wake me up?" Hannah questioned as she pulled shoes on in front of the door.

"I was talking to your dad and didn't realize what time it was. You're old enough to get yourself up…" Christine started.

"Momma, when are you going to figure out, he doesn't care about us." Hannah said before she opened the door. Mike stepped forward and grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Hannah, you can think whatever you want to about me but you will not be disrespectful to your mother. I never stopped caring about any of you. Not for one heartbeat. Now, go to school and come back in a better mood. I love you and have a good day." Mike told her before releasing her arm. In retrospect; holding her arm was a mistake but Hannah just walked away. He hadn't gripped it hard at all. Hannah had walked through the front gate to go to school and Christine just shrugged at Mike.

"I have no idea, Mike. Just be patient. Remember to love her." Christine told him as she grabbed her purse. They locked up and walked to the main house. Andrea was up and Dana, Allie and Paul had already gone to school. Lexi and Charlie were sitting at the table coloring with Sarah. Andrea had packed a bag just in case Charlie wouldn't be coming home with them. Mike grabbed the bag and file with the affidavits in it; along with financial records and other needed paperwork. He bent down and kissed Lexi's head and Andrea grabbed Charlie's hand. They had talked to him the night before and explained what was happening. He was terrified and had slept between Mike and Andrea. Charlie followed Andrea and took Christine's hand with his other.

The drive to the courthouse was quiet and Charlie carried his stuffed bear in with him. He settled between Mike and Andrea with Christine behind them. As soon as the guards led his biological father in; he started clinging to Mike, so much so that he had trouble standing for the judge, Judge Collins.

"Alright, I have reviewed your petition, Mr. Smith. You have not been able to locate any family, correct?" Judge Collins addressed Charlie's biological father, Hunter.

"That's correct. You have to agree, it is not good for my son to be raised in such an environment. Mr. Slattery is married to two women. Both women live with him…" Hunter started. He didn't have an attorney to represent him.

"Actually, I have read the first Mrs. Slattery's affidavit, which has been provided to you. Along with Hannah and Hilary Slattery's affidavits. They live in a guesthouse on Admiral Slattery's property. Granted, on the same property but hardly under the same roof. In reading that affidavit; Christine Slattery stated many times that she deliberately hid from her husband and took her children along for the ride. Hannah and Hilary Slattery backed up those claims. Despite that, Admiral and Captain Slattery are caring for her and have moved her in. It speaks to their generosity. She also stated that Admiral Slattery did nothing to cause her long absence. There are absolutely no allegations of abuse or neglect like a judge like myself would expect after the long disappearance of a spouse. She stated that Admiral Slattery was a very loving husband and father who provided a beautiful home for herself and their children. She also is very proud of Admiral and Captain Slattery in fostering and adopting these children. What do you have to say to refute that?" Judge Collins asked.

"I…they have a lot of kids. How can they possibly afford more?" Hunter asked. He was grasping at straws. Mike and Andrea's attorney stood up and waited to be called. He had Mike and Andrea's financial records in hand.

"Counselor? Please come forward. Mr. Smith, stay put." Judge Collins instructed. Mike heard the door open and close behind him and looked back. Hannah walked in and sat down next to Christine. She had apparently skipped school and Mike was concerned she was going to say something. He could hear the attorney and judge speaking quietly. Finally, the attorney walked back to the table and the judge continued. "Alright, in reviewing the financial records; Admiral Slattery is making upwards of $300,000 a year. Captain Slattery, who is retired is making right at $200,000 a year. They do collect dividends from some investments; which adds up to about $250,000 a year. They do hire a part-time nanny to assist Captain Slattery. She makes $60,000 a year. Health benefits are covered, along with housing benefits by the Navy. They have very few expenses. Both vehicles are paid off. They are by no means extraordinarily wealthy. However, they are frugal. They've made some wise investments that will continue to care for their family. I have no concerns that they can care for Charlie despite the size of their family." Judge Collins said firmly.

"Yes, but can my boy get the attention and love he deserves?" Hunter commented. Mike almost had to laugh.

"Considering that you are in prison for murdering your daughter; I don't think you have much to say about paying attention or loving your child. I have read the caseworker's report. She speaks of how Charlie has flourished. Yes, he is quiet but he is obviously very attached to his adoptive family. They have had him for a year and he is doing very well. You are in prison for life and cannot find any family to take Charlie in. You have posted three times in newspapers; once more than what is favored by law. What plans do you have for Charlie?" Judge Collins asked.

"Uh…" Hunter stammered.

"And I realize you are probably in the appeals process with your case concerning your daughter. I have no control over that but I do have control over Charlie's case. He was horrifically abused by you and then had to watch his sister be murdered by her father. With the Slattery's; he has safety and security. Love. I have children of my own and being a parent boils down to some very simple rules. Offering your child safety, security and love. Simple. The fact that the Slattery's are nearly millionaires don't matter. Their children don't care about that. They care about the safety, security and love that they've found with the Slattery's. As far as I am concerned; I am going to sign off on the adoption today. I am sick of you dragging this out. That little boy needs to know that he is safe. He needs to not need to worry about you. I will have the paperwork drawn up within a few minutes. Your rights have been terminated so you have no rights. I only granted this hearing to give you due process. Bailiff get him out of my sight." Judge Collins ordered and stood up.

Mike had sat Charlie down on his own two feet and was turning around to see what Hannah was up to when he heard a struggle. The bailiff and Hunter were struggling and Mike moved Andrea and Charlie out of the way to be of assistance when a shot rang out. Andrea's instincts took over and she pulled herself, Charlie and Christine down instantly but Hannah was out of both of their reaches. Mike ran forward; knowing that Hunter had gotten ahold of the bailiff's gun. Between Mike and the bailiff, they wrestled the gun away and a couple other court officers ran in and Hunter was carried out. Mike had tunneled in and when he turned around, he realized his attorney was yelling for an ambulance and Christine was sitting next to Hannah; putting pressure on a wound on her neck. There was a lot of blood; entirely too much.

"Get that ambulance here now! She's barely breathing and the blood is occluding her airway." Christine said calmly. Mike knelt beside her and handed her his tie to stop the bleeding. He didn't know how she was so calm. The paramedics ran in and Christine began giving her report, which was grave at best.

"C'mon, sweetheart. C'mon." Mike begged as he tuck Hannah's small hand in his own. Her breathing was extremely ragged and Mike knew that they were losing her. Christine was working furiously.

"Mike, I am going to ride with her. They need all hands. That wound needs constant pressure and the paramedic is going to have to get her intubated." Christine told him. Andrea had moved Charlie completely away and was blocking his view of Hannah.

"Oh…okay. Why was she here? She should have been in school…" Mike asked.

"She told me that it was her co-op hour and she wanted to be here to support you. She felt badly for how she acted this morning." Christine commented.

"Oh, God…" Mike said sadly as he looked at the blood all over Christine's hands and blouse.

"Just concentrate on the face that the last thing you said to her was that you loved her; despite how she insulted you. I had better go. They're taking her to General." Christine commented before following Christine out.

"Mike, I will drop you off at the hospital, grab Christine and you some clothes, call Hilary and the school and then will come to the hospital once I get Charlie settled. Just concentrate on Hannah but keep an eye out for Christine too. I wish I could have reached Hannah." Andrea stated while trying to comfort a very upset little boy.

"I wish I could have too." Mike admitted. He felt horribly.

"I know. Now, c'mon. The attorney is meeting with Judge Collins and will call us later." Andrea told him quietly as they hurried to the truck. Mike's stomach was in knots. He had only gotten Hannah back for just over a week. He would not be able to stand losing her.

 **I know the salary amounts are probably off but I was having trouble finding the actual amount on the internet so I used some artistic license. I'm sure I way overquoted it! Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 8

Mike had not been so scared in a long time. Hannah had made it to the hospital, probably more because of Christine then anything. The surgeons were not hopeful though. As morbid as it was; Mike had had several pictures of Hilary, Hannah and Lucas uploaded onto his phone before Christine and the kids had surfaced. He was looking through his pictures with his elbows on his knees when Christine sat back down, next to him and rubbed his back. She had been checking on the progress of the surgery.

"I spoke with the nurse in the operating room. Her vitals are holding. The bullet splintered and caused a lot of damage. Part of it into her collarbone, the other part is dangerously close to her wind pipe and then another part close to her carotid. The fact that she has survived so far is encouraging but the surgeon is not very hopeful. If she makes it out of the surgery; the next twenty-four hours will be critical." Christine told him very clinically.

"That sounds horrible." Mike stated.

"It isn't good. Have you heard from Andrea?" Christine asked.

"Yeah. Charlie is having a rough time and she's working on getting him settled. God, I feel horribly. When she walked in; I was upset and worried that she was going to say something to derail the adoption. She is my daughter and I believed the absolute worst about her. Not sure what that says about me as a father." Mike commented.

"I think you should know; I thought the same thing and I'm her mother. Hannah is not perfect, none of our kids are. She does have some basic, good qualities but she's terribly impulsive, has a bad temper and needs to think before she speaks. At the same time; she has a good heart. She does give people a lot more chances than they deserve. She may not trust easily but once she does; she trusts completely. She has almost a carbon copy of her father's personality. I think that is why you and she clash. Your personalities are so similar." Christine said as she continued to rub his back.

"I just want another chance with her. I just got her back." Mike stated.

"I know. Usually, I am the one that has some sort of faith answer to this stuff. I don't understand why God would allow you to just get Hannah back, to have her die like this, if she does die. I can't help but to wonder why that bullet hit her and not me. I'm dying anyways." Christine said quietly.

"Sorry you are having to go through this. You should be at home resting." Mike commented.

"I'm fine. I would rather be here with her than at home. I will be okay as long as she is okay. I have to just have faith that she will be. Its easier to believe that then to accept that she might die." Christine told him firmly. It made Mike feel badly for her but he wouldn't argue with her. One of the things that he had always loved about Christine was her faith and hope. He wanted everything to always be okay but Christine had the faith to believe that it might actually be. It was why they had been compatible. He took her hand in his own and just held it and they both began waiting.

An hour later; Andrea and Hilary came in. Andrea sat next to Mike and Hilary sat on Christine's other side. They were all silent. No one knew what to say. Finally, after several hours of surgery, the surgeon walked in and pulled a chair up in front of Mike and Christine.

"I will just cut to the chase. She made it through the surgery. I honestly don't know how. She should not have survived. Hannah lost over half of her blood volume and we have already done two transfusions. More maybe needed later. We have placed a drain to take any inflammation out but we will need to monitor her very closely. We did get all the fragments out. The one that hit her collarbone fortunately didn't break it but it did take a good chunk out of it. The next twelve to sixteen hours is absolutely critical and if she makes it through it; she will be in pain. I would like to sedate her but the sedation may cause her to lose the drive to breathe. At this point; she is breathing on her own with no assistance. If we have to reintubate her; she may always be. It is a crapshoot and if she begins having trouble breathing; I will have no choice. My best advise is that she remains calm. Please, do not get your hopes up." The surgeon stated and Mike and Christine both nodded. They all stood up and followed the surgeon to a hospital room. Hannah was lying on the bed, looking very disoriented and was moving around too much.

"Dad, I will stay out here for now. You and Momma go in. Andrea too." Hilary told him quietly and Mike nodded. Instead of following them into the room; Andrea grabbed his hand.

"Mike, I'll go in a minute but this is your time with her. You and Christine need to be with her, together." Andrea told him quietly. He knew what she was implying. He and Christine needed to act like they were a couple, especially if it was the end for Hannah. He nodded and kissed her cheek before following Christine in. Hannah was shockingly pale and weak. Christine went to one side of the bed and Mike went to the other, both grasping Hannah's hands.

"H…hurt. Is…Charl…Charlie okay?" Hannah's voice was practically a whisper and Mike knelt down next to the bed.

"He's fine. Scared but okay. Just save your energy." Mike instructed her as he wiped tears that were falling out of her eyes. Christine had found a chair and was sitting down on Hannah's other side, still holding her hand.

"G…lad…he didn't…get hurt. Or Andrea. Or you or Momma. If it had be anyone; it needed to be me." Hannah stated.

"No, sweetie." Christine told her.

"I…was so nasty to you and Daddy…I should have been…a better…daughter." Hannah told them. Mike and Christine just looked at one another.

"And because of that, you think you should have died?" Christine asked.

"Yes, ma'am." Hannah acknowledged.

"You listen to me, young lady; you have had a lot thrown at you in a very short period of time; anyone would have trouble adjusting. Yes, there have been bumps and there will be more but you were not deserving of what happened to you. We need you to hang on. We need you." Mike told her firmly and Hannah did her best to nod.

"Do you think you guys could get on the bed with me and hold me? Would that be okay?" Hannah asked and Mike and Christine nodded at her. He helped Christine lower the bed rail on her side and helped her lay down and then got in on the other side. He knew the nurses would have an issue with it but he didn't care. Both he and Christine turned on their sides and cuddled close to their baby girl. Andrea quietly came in and tucked a blanket around the three of them and gave Mike and Hannah a kiss while she rubbed Christine's shoulder.

"Is this okay?" Mike asked her quietly.

"More than. I am going to take Hilary home. Call me, one way or another?" Andrea asked.

"I will, thank you. I love you." Mike answered and Andrea nodded.

"I love you too. Now, concentrate on them. I'll handle everything else." Andrea insisted. Hilary had come in and had given her mom and sister a kiss. She came around to Mike's side of the bed and gave him a kiss on the temple.

"Dad, I love you and she does too. That's why she wanted you to lay like this. Just have some faith. And please, take care of Momma." Hilary whispered in Mike's ear and he nodded at her.

"I love you too, sweetie. Could you help Andrea?" Mike asked.

"Yep, I am going to stay in one of the spare rooms until you get home; if that's okay?" Hilary asked.

"Of course." Mike assured her and she tucked the blanket closer. Hannah had gone to sleep and seemed to be breathing well enough. Christine was trying to keep her eyes open, to monitor Hannah. Andrea and Hilary left and Mike tried to settle. It was going to be a really long night.


	9. Chapter 9

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 9

Hannah coded twice through the night. The first time, Christine and the nurses got her back immediately; the second time; it was more of a struggle. The doctor had backed Christine out but Hannah had finally bounced back. At first; they didn't think she would wake up but she did. It worried both of them. Christine warned Mike if Hannah coded a third time; they would most likely not get her back. Hannah's only request was that Mike and Christine get back on the bed and hold her.

Christine was wearing down and Mike was also worried about her but he knew that she would never leave Hannah's side until she was out of the woods. It was not worth suggesting. Hannah had brought up what she had said to Mike and Christine several times and that she was a horrible daughter. Mike and Christine both argued with her. All they could do was assure her that they loved her and that she was not a horrible daughter.

By eight am; the doctor was a little more hopeful. Her vitals were getting better. He suggested a third transfusion and Mike immediately volunteered. Hannah seemed slightly surprised but didn't say anything while Christine was hooking the lines into Mike's arm. Given her training, and the still low number of medical personnel; the doctors and nurses were pretty well giving Christine free rein. It made Mike feel better; knowing that she was seeing to Hannah's care. As the blood flowed out of Mike's arm into a machine; and then into Hannah and Christine monitored both of their vitals; Hannah finally spoke.

"You don't have to do this, Dad." Hannah said quietly.

"Give you blood? I am your dad, first of all, secondly, I am a universal donor so it makes sense. Of course, I am going to give you my blood to keep you alive." Mike insisted. It was confusing.

"Hannah, there are not many blood donors anymore and a familial donor is best. You have the same blood type as your dad. I can't. Your dad and I both want you to make it through this so this is your hope. And you are only seventeen so it is up to us. Your dad and I are in complete agreement about this." Christine spoke for both of them; all while examining the scar from Takehaya's camp on Mike's arm. She crooked an eyebrow at him and touched it but then looked back at Hannah.

"But I was horrible to you both." Hannah stated. Her coloring was getting better and Christine was nodding at her heart monitor.

"Doesn't mean we want to lose you. We need you. I only have a few weeks or months left but I don't want to spend that time grieving. I want to spend it, spending time with my kids. Making sure you guys will be okay with your dad. Watch you graduate. Help Andrea have their baby. So, don't you dare die. Don't break a dying woman's heart." Christine told Hannah firmly. It reminded Mike of how feisty she had been when they first met and all through their marriage.

"She's right. I don't want to have to grieve for another one of my kids either. Lucas is hard enough. I cannot lose any of you kids." Mike told her.

"Okay. I am feeling a bit better. I know the doctor said I was on a soft diet so can I have some chicken noodle soup?" Hannah asked. It was encouraging.

"I can call Andrea and see if she can bring some." Mike suggested.

"That sounds good." Hannah said with a slight smile. Christine had unhooked the tube from Mike's arm and bandaged it. As soon as she was done, Mike leaned over and gave Hannah a kiss on the forehead. "Be right back." Mike told them both.

"Mike, once you get in the hallway, have a seat. You did just give over a pint of blood." Christine warned him and he nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. I will be right outside." Mike promised and walked into the hallway and took a seat in the adjoining waiting room. He punched in Andrea's cellphone number and was thrilled to hear her voice.

" _Hey, how are you all doing?" Andrea asked._

" _A little better this morning. She coded twice through the night and the second time; they had a rough time getting her back. I just gave her a transfusion and Christine and I teamed up to give her a lecture about sticking around. She is requesting chicken soup." Mike filled her in._

" _Just so happens, I made some last night. I will package it up. I do need to bring Charlie with me though. He's…he didn't handle you not being here well. Was terrified Hunter would show up. I think he would feel better if he saw you. I think he is also missing Christine too." Andrea told him._

" _Poor guy. I am afraid that yesterday set him back aways." Mike remarked._

" _He hung onto me all night but I could tell he was really missing you there. Course, I was too. Lexi is missing you too. Hilary was a huge help this morning. Not sure I would have been able to get the kids out the door without her." Andrea continued._

" _I'm sorry. I just couldn't leave her and I am worried that Christine will wear herself out. I would like to talk her into going home with you today." Mike told her._

" _Mike, she needs to be there. Hannah is her baby. The practical part says she should come home and rest but she is not going to leave her child's bedside. I wouldn't either. Just be there for her and let her lean on you when she needs to rest." Andrea insisted._

" _Does this bother you? Me being here with her?" Mike asked._

" _No. You have an injured child. If the two of you were divorced in a conventional sense; you would be co-parenting. That's what you're doing." Andrea told him._

" _But…this isn't quite like that." Mike argued._

" _No, it isn't. She is still in love with you and you still care deeply about her. Even love her. I don't doubt that you also love me. I also know, you are not going to cheat on me. Christine was always a good friend to me and I know she is dying. If being near you gives her some comfort then so be it. She only has weeks or months left; I will get you for the rest of our lives." Andrea assured him._

" _That you will. How's baby doing?" Mike asked._

" _Kicking and missing his daddy's voice." Andrea told him._

" _How does he know when its my voice?" Mike questioned._

" _He just does. I'd better get Charlie moving. See ya in a bit. Love you." Andrea told him._

" _I love you too. Be careful." Mike answered and then hung up, walking back into Hannah's hospital room._

"Andrea will be here in a bit with soup and Charlie. He's had a rough time." Mike told them as he sat down next to Hannah's bedside. Christine was sitting on the bed with Hannah and they both nodded.

"Poor, little guy." Christine commented as she checked Hannah's bandaging.

"She doesn't have to make a special trip for me." Hannah stated.

"She wants to. Besides, Charlie needs some time." Mike assured her.

"Okay, can I take a nap before?" Hannah asked.

"Of course." Mike answered and stood up. Christine also had stood up and they both leaned down and gave her a kiss. She gave them both a slight smile.

"I love you both. I really am glad you're here." Hannah told them.

"No place else we would rather be. We love you too." Mike told her and Hannah began nodding off. Mike and Christine walked to the small couch that was in the room and just sit and watched her for a few minutes.

"If you want to go home with Andrea; I understand. I'm not leaving her." Christine told him.

"I'm staying here. How are you holding up?" Mike asked.

"Wearing down but I want to get her through the next twenty-four hours before I go home. She made it through the night, her vitals are good, no fever but she is not out of the woods. I am encouraged but I also am a realist." Christine told him and Mike put an arm around her. She sunk in under his arm and more or less cuddled into him. He was really glad that Andrea was so understanding because it would look funny otherwise.

They sat like that, with Christine's head on Mike's chest for over two hours. They both had fell asleep and woke up when Andrea walked in. If their position bothered Andrea, she never said a word. Charlie jumped into Mike's lap and gave Christine a hug. Hannah had also woken up and was smiling at them. Christine stood up and helped Hannah sit up. Andrea had the soup in a thermos to keep it hot and Christine began helping her eat it. Mike stayed on the couch and was holding Charlie while the two women fussed over Hannah. Charlie was only watching them with some vague interest. He had brought his teddy bear, which was unusual. He was terrified of losing it, so it never left the house.

"Hey, buddy; you brought your bear? You hate taking it out of the house." Mike asked; not really expecting an answer. Charlie rarely spoke.

"I brought it for Hannah." Charlie told him, simply. Mike was shocked. First, because Charlie had spoke but also because Charlie tended to be a little selfish with his teddy bear. He occasionally let Lexi hold it but only with his close supervision.

"Charlie, Hannah isn't coming home for a few days or a week. I'm sure you don't want to be without your bear that long." Mike mentioned and Charlie shrugged.

"It's okay. She needs my bear. She'll keep it safe, won't she?" Charlie asked. Mike had never heard him speak in such full sentences. He wondered what had changed because he had figured witnessing his father shot and almost kill Hannah would set him back.

"Yes. Her mom and I will be here with her a lot and we will watch it close. Buddy; you're talking a lot. What's changed?" Mike asked.

"Before I was scared that if I talked too loud, my real dad would find me like when I was in closet. Then I saw them policemen carry him away after he hurt Hannah. He's gonna really go to jail forever, isn't he? He can't hear me now." Charlie explained and Mike was stunned.

"That's true. He can't hurt you ever again. And the judge made it to where Mom and I were really your mom and dad. Just like we are with the other kids." Mike told Charlie and was awarded with a bright smile and a hug; both rare occurrences for Charlie. Mike picked Charlie up and carried him to Hannah's bed. He sat Charlie down next to Hannah and nodded at him.

"Hannah, I wanted to leave my teddy bear here with you. He always makes me feel better. You'll take care of him?" Charlie asked Hannah and she nodded at him. Normally, she would have argued but she was too out of it; from the pain medication.

"Thank you, Charlie. I promise; I will take good care of him." Hannah told him, and Charlie cuddled close to her, something else that was completely unusual for him. Mike shrugged at Andrea and Christine. There might have been a blessing that came out of Hannah getting shot.


	10. Chapter 10

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 10

It was nothing short of a miracle that Hannah was even able to go home so soon. It had been four days since she had been shot. Mike had tried desperately to convince Christine to go home but she wouldn't leave Hannah's side, even once she had started doing better. And by default; Mike stayed. If he didn't, Christine wouldn't have rested properly. He was exhausted and he wasn't ill.

Aside from a lot of pain; Hannah had no ill effects from being shot. Tom and Andrea had brought Mike's truck to him so that he could get himself, Christine and Hannah home when it was time. Hannah's voice was a little iffy and she was on a steady diet of soup; already asking for Christine's potato soup and more of Andrea's chicken noodle soup. Lexi and Charlie had also brought them all ice cream one day which had been a huge hit with Hannah. Charlie's bear had stayed with Hannah at all times and even once they had her in the wheelchair to take her home; she had ahold of it. Mike had told her the story behind it and he could tell that it had broken Hannah's heart.

Hannah had groaned with every bump Mike hit on the way home. Taking care of roads and infrastructure in general was not a priority anymore so it was not the smoothest ride. About half way home, Hannah fell into a drug induced sleep in the back seat. Christine looked back at her and smiled.

"Kind of reminds me of bringing her home from the hospital after we had her. Such a good baby. I remember watching her sleeping and worrying that she would wake up." Christine said with a smile.

"It was January in Rhode Island. I remember being terrified of hitting a patch of ice. You and Hannah were in the backseat, what fourteen hours after having her? I remember just wanting to get you girls home." Mike agreed.

"Your mom and dad had Hilary for the week. Thought it would be good for us to have the time with Hannah. And once we got home; it was great. It gave us time to bond with her, figure out her little personality. We had the same time with both Hilary and Lucas. When we had him; they watched the girls for us." Christine added.

"It was three of the happiest weeks in my life. I have worried about it; we are…busy now and when Andrea has our little guy; I am worried our other kids will feel neglected, especially Lexi. She is just not sure of this baby thing and we never intended on having another after her." Mike admitted.

"Well, if I am around to help, I will. And besides, you know what causes that right? I am pretty certain you and I have had conversations about birth control in the past; I would bet you and Andrea have too." Christine teased.

"We have and there won't be any more after this one. We are not even certain we will be doing any more fostering." Mike told her.

"Why? Your kids that you have adopted adore you and Andrea." Christine asked.

"They are good kids and I adore them but I don't feel its fair to them to take anymore. I need to concentrate on developing a bond with the triplets, and getting to know Hilary and Hannah again. Not to mention, I still need to be a good dad to the four we have adopted and to Lexi and this new baby. Plus, Andrea and I have trouble not getting too attached to the kids when we foster them; hence four adopted kids." Mike told her.

"Mike, I am proud of you for doing what you and Andrea have. You have taken four kids who either haven't ever been really loved or have no one anymore; and shown them love and acceptance despite their histories. I only know Charlie's history but it is heart breaking." Christine stated.

"The other three have heartbreaking stories too. Dana was severely abused, both physically and sexually by her family; and some of the foster homes she has been in were no better. Despite that, when you and the kids moved in; she figured that one of them would be moving elsewhere. Begged me to let it be her. Her theory was that she had had a good couple years with us and it was all kids like her deserved. Wanted Allie, Paul and Charlie to experience what she had had for longer. Allie's family was pretty good but they all died during the Red Flu. I think she might be immune to the Red Flu because when she was found, she had been sitting next to their bodies for days, possibly weeks. She has some serious survivor's guilt going on. I actually try to go to therapy with her because she sees me as a kindred soul, given everything. Then Paul, his family were bad into drugs before the Red Flu. Spent the first six weeks of his life in a hospital due to being a drug baby. He was put directly into the state's custody and was in various foster homes until he was adopted when he was three. That family died during the Red Flu. Paul is severely dyslexic, has ADHD and asthma. His eyes are also pretty bad and the doctors tell us that he is legally blind in his right eye." Mike filled her in.

"You've taken in children that are unwanted by anyone else. Makes our kids and their issues seem minor. They are healthy, well-adjusted and normal." Christine stated.

"I don't take that for granted either. Not after all this." Mike stated. Hannah having been shot had shaken Mike to his core. More, because he had believed the absolute worst about her before she was shot. It had told him that he needed to spend more time with both of his oldest daughters. He truly didn't know them.

"Mike, stop beating yourself up. You are practically bonding with the older girls all over again. It takes time and is painful but I have no doubt; it'll happen. Staying with us the last couple days meant a lot to Hannah. Me too. I know that you could have gone home at any point but you didn't." Christine told him.

"I just feel badly. She had good intentions but I misconstrued them. Doesn't say much for me as a parent." Mike admitted and Christine nodded. They were almost home and Mike didn't want Hannah to overhear anything.

"I thought the same things. I will say, I am glad to be home. I've missed sleeping in a bed and seeing the triplets. I've missed them." Christine admitted. Andrea had not been able to bring them to visit and Mike and Christine had both missed them.

"Me too." Mike agreed as he pulled in. Christine leaned back and shook Hannah's knee to wake her. Mike would have to help her into the house and potentially over to the guesthouse. They both got out of the truck and Mike helped Hannah out of the truck. She was small enough that he could have easily carried her but knew she wanted the independence. They slowly made their way into the house and as soon as they walked in, the younger kids all ran for them.

"Okay, guys; let them get a breath. Hannah, Christine? Do you want to sit down?" Andrea asked and they both nodded at her. As soon as they were settled, Charlie jumped up next to Christine; not even allowing the triplets a chance. Mike could tell it bothered Maggie and Katie so he sat down in the recliner and pulled them both into a hug to distract them.

"He'll move in a minute and you can give Mommy a hug." Mike promised the two girls. They didn't seem very sure so he cuddled them. Tyler was a bit more independent and was 'helping' Andrea in the kitchen. Hilary was not getting off work until four thirty and Dana, Allie and Paul had an after-school program. Lexi was playing on the floor with her toys and had smiled brightly at Mike. She was used to vying for attention and had learned to just wait her turn. The triplets; especially Katie and Maggie were struggling and having both their parents and an older sister gone for four days was rough for them.

"I missed Mommy." Katie said quietly and Mike nodded. The tears were gathering in her eyes and Maggie's chin and lower lip was quivering.

"Alright. Hey, Charlie; come here, buddy? Katie and Maggie want hugs from their mommy." Mike told him and Charlie jumped up and instead of going to Mike; sat down on the floor next to Lexi, apparently to play. Maggie and Katie made a run for Christine and Tyler ran in from the kitchen to get his hug. It gave Mike an opportunity to check in with Andrea who was cooking dinner. He walked up behind her and wrapped both arms around her. Their baby gave him a sharp kick and Andrea laughed.

"He is definitely making his presence known." Andrea told him as she turned around in his arms and gave him a kiss.

"I am ready for him to make his appearance. I know we still have over six weeks to go though and I don't want him here too early. How are you feeling? If I remember right, from Lexi; this point in your pregnancy is rough." Mike asked.

"My ankles are twice their normal size and I am tired constantly. I still need to get the crib together too. I also desperately need to do some baby shopping unless we are planning on him being naked aside from his diaper constantly." Andrea told him.

"Well, I can handle the crib and I will give your feet and ankles a rub down tonight." Mike offered and Andrea smiled.

"That sounds nice. The kids all have school tomorrow and Sarah will be here for Lexi and Charlie. I would really like a day out with you tomorrow." Andrea asked. She rarely asked Mike for anything and Mike knew; she was feeling slightly neglected.

"I think that can be arranged. Hannah will be alright with Christine." Mike agreed and she nodded.

"Hilary was a huge help. I really don't think I would have been able to handle things without her. I am going to miss her going back to the guesthouse. She was asking me about the Navy last night. I think she is thinking about it, to help her with nursing school. I told her we would help her but she is thinking about it. Said she wasn't going to do anything until…Christine passed. I don't think she wants to stress her. I told her that she will need to talk to you about it too." Andrea told him.

"I don't know how I feel about that. I've not been the family member left at home before, let alone a parent of a servicemember. Its…I'm just not sure." Mike admitted.

"Just support her whatever decision she makes. Hilary doesn't want to be a burden and doesn't want you to have to pay for her education. She also wants to give you a chance with the triplets and is afraid that if she sticks around, even still going to college, they will still defer to her…after. I think you need to make a point to take her out for lunch or something this week. Just some one on one time." Andrea instructed and Mike nodded.

"Makes sense. You okay with me having spent so much time with Christine? I know you walked in the other day and found us in a weird…position." Mike asked.

"At first…I was a little miffed but I am really trying to see this from Christine's perspective. You were her husband first and I am kind of the 'other woman' only with a wedding band. If I was in her shoes; I would be intensely jealous. She doesn't seem to be and I think as things progress, she will be reaching out to you more. I am okay with that…or I have to be anyway." Andrea told him and Mike pulled her into another hug.

"You tell me if something makes you uncomfortable? I don't want you to feel…slid onto a back burner." Mike asked.

"I am though, Mike. My mom died from cancer and at the end; she…she remembered things and it was like she lived in another time. When she and my dad were young, newly married. She took a lot of comfort from that. They were divorced and so my dad didn't do any of the things that Mom needed. I think Christine will probably do the same thing. She will revert back to a time that she was really happy. Back to when it was you and her. That might mean that you have to…hold her, kiss her, even sleep next to her. I want her to have the comfort that my mom didn't get from my dad. Like I've said, I know you still love her and she loves you. It is really important that you do this. And I will get you back." Andrea told him quietly as she smoothed her hands over his shoulders.

"I do love you." Mike stated because he didn't know what else to say. Andrea definitely deserved a lot more. Most wives in her situation would have been angry and heartbroken.

"I love you too." Andrea told him before giving him a long kiss. Lexi came into the kitchen and was pulling on Mike's pant leg, wanting his attention.

"How's Daddy's baby girl? I've missed you." Mike asked the little girl as he picked her up and kissed her chubby cheek.

"I missed you too! Can you tuck me in tonight? Hilary did last night but she didn't tuck my blankets tight enough." Lexi told him as she snuggled close.

"You bet, sweet pea. Tight as a bug in a rug!" Mike told her as he carried her into the living room.

"Mike, I forgot to tell you, we don't have a roommate anymore. Charlie had Sarah and Hilary move his bed into Paul and Tyler's room. He has done really well." Andrea filled him in and Mike was shocked.

"Wow. That's…huge. No nightmares?" Mike asked.

"None. He has missed his bear but otherwise; he is good. Hilary had an old one of hers that she let him 'borrow.' Told him you had gotten it for her. I think that helped him." Andrea told him and Mike sat down on one of the barstools with Lexi on his lap.

"I really figured that seeing Hannah get shot would really set him back." Mike admitted. He was actually a bit saddened by Charlie's sudden independence. He would miss having the little boy in the walk-in closet.

"I spoke with the therapist. She said it might actually have been a good thing, not so much seeing her hurt but seeing his biological dad carried out by the police. Said that it made it clear that he wouldn't ever come back. He feels safe. He has talked and even asked yesterday about going to school with Tyler. And Tyler has been a huge help with him. They have really become 'battle buddies.'" Andrea told him. Mike looked into the living room where Tyler and Charlie were playing with toy cars on the floor. The two little boys had become fast friends and Mike was thankful.

"And how has Paul handled that?" Mike asked. Paul truly struggled and he and Charlie were buddies.

"Dana has helped a lot with Paul. He might be a little jealous but seems to be handling it. I offered him his own room but he said he didn't want to be lonely and he would be if he was by himself. I also spoke with his teacher. She is trying a new curriculum with him and has had a lot of success. Paul got a hundred on his spelling test. She has never had a dyslexic kid do that. Says he has a photographic memory. Her concern is that he will memorize things and not actually comprehend them but we'll cross that bridge." Andrea told him as she stirred the chicken soup.

"Great!" Mike stated as he watched the kids.

"Allie had a rough day in therapy yesterday. Her therapist said she thought it was because you weren't there. You…steady her? That's what the therapist says anyway. She did have a bad nightmare last night…I ended up with a roommate." Andrea told him and Mike nodded. It was why he went to Allie's therapy with her. If he didn't, she had nightmares after.

"I'll talk to her when she gets home. See if I can talk her through it. And Dana?" Mike asked.

"She is a jewel. She and Hilary have gotten close." Andrea told him.

"Good." Mike answered.

"They are all adjusting to each other. Katie and Maggie have really missed Christine. They did ask about having a sleep over at the guest house. Told them I would leave that up to you and Christine. I think it's a good idea but I also know that Christine will be monitoring Hannah pretty closely." Andrea continued.

"I will mention it to Christine. I think it's a good idea. I imagine Hilary will be over there too so she can help. I wonder if Tyler will want to?" Mike asked and Andrea shrugged.

"Not sure. Probably but who knows." Andrea stated just as Hilary walked in the front door. She was excited to see her mom and sisters and gave them all hugs. As Mike watched her, he could see how she could be a good sailor. It was not a path he had intended on any of his kids taking but he would support her.

"Hey, Daddy." Hilary said as she gave him a hug and kissed Lexi's cheek. The little girl jumped into her arms and began playing with her stethoscope.

"Hey, sweetie. Andrea told me you were a huge help. Thank you." Mike said as he pulled her back.

"Its what family does. Not such a big deal. You and Mom needed to be with Hannah and Andrea needed help. Plus, I got lots of cuddles with Lexi!" Hilary said as she bounced Lexi up and down after Mike had released her.

"Well, that is certainly a good pay-off. Thanks again. I love you." Mike said as he stood up and kissed Hilary's forehead.

"I love you too. Supper smells good. Do you need help, Andrea?" Hilary asked.

"I think I am good. Once the girls get here; I'll have them set the table and we will be good to go." Andrea said.

"The bus just pulled in." Mike stated as he walked out to the porch to greet the three kids. He immediately was hugged. He could see the exhaustion on Allie's face from her nightmare the night before. Dana and Paul looked happy to see him. Allie and Paul gave him a hug but he knew better than to expect one from Dana; no matter how happy she seemed. In the three years that they had her; she had only given Mike one hug and maybe two kisses on the cheek. It was an invisible line Mike didn't cross and the only thing he could hope for was that Dana knew that she was loved. She was a little more free with her hugs with the kids and Andrea but was still very reserved. Mike also hoped that someday; she opened herself up to love and affection. She was deserving of it.

Andrea had supper on the table and Hilary had the table set when Mike and the kids came back in. Supper was subdued and Christine had insisted that the triplets spend the night with her at the guesthouse. It made for a quiet evening for Mike and Andrea. He gave the kids kisses before they walked over and Christine promised to call if she needed anything. It gave Mike a breather that he didn't even realize that he needed. He gave Andrea her requested foot rub after the kids were in bed and they made plans for the next day.

"I was thinking I wanted to eat lunch at the Brazilian Grill that we went to on our anniversary?" Andrea asked as Mike rubbed her feet and legs down with lotion.

"Sounds good. I liked that place a lot." Mike agreed.

"Its also close to the baby store. We have all the necessary furniture and a car seat but I need to check the expiration date on it. Mostly, we need clothes and accessories for him. Since we never foster babies, I just don't have that stuff." Andrea added.

"I'll put the crib and changing table back together tomorrow evening. Since we don't have Charlie in here now; are we going to have the baby in with us?" Mike asked.

"I think we will put his crib and furniture in one of the bedrooms but we will have a bassinet in here with us. We need to decide on a name." Andrea stated.

"What ones did you have in mind?" Mike asked. It was a discussion that they had been in before Hannah had been shot.

"I like either Christopher or Christian. For a middle name; I like Matthew or Logan." Andrea told him as Mike finished up.

"So, Christopher Matthew or Christopher Logan? Or Christian Matthew or Christian Logan?" Mike asked.

"I'm leaning towards Christopher Logan. Regardless of rather Christine delivers him; I like the idea of naming our baby after her." Andrea stated. They were getting ready for bed and for the first time in several days; Mike settled into the comfortable bed and signed in relief. Andrea was more uncomfortable but cuddled close to Mike.

"I know she doesn't expect it and I would like to keep his name a surprise for her. It will mean a lot to her." Mike said as he wrapped himself around Andrea and put a hand on her belly.

"Exactly. Go to sleep, Mike. You're exhausted. I love you." Andrea said as she gave him a kiss.

"Good plan. I love you too." Mike agreed with a yawn. He leaned over and shut the bedside lamp off and settled, falling asleep very quickly.

 **I know it seems like a filler chapter! I did want to give a bit of a background on the foster kids that Mike and Andrea took in as well as some memories for Mike and Christine. Sorry it took so long to get it wrote! I have been working 70-hour weeks and had to plan and pull off a huge banquet and service.**


	11. Chapter 11

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 11

Hannah's recovery process was rough for her; mostly because she pushed too hard. Mike didn't really know where Christine got all her energy from. She had pretty well shoved Mike and Andrea out the door; promising to help Sarah with Lexi and Charlie. The older kids were at school and Hilary was at work. Hannah was on the couch with an architecture book.

Neither Mike or Andrea were big shoppers, but it was nice to just have some time for the two of them. Dana's birthday was coming up on Saturday and they had decided to spoil her. Dana never asked for anything and most of her things went to her younger siblings. Andrea had already ordered a two-tier cake and gotten some decorations. Dana loved rose gold anything, so Mike and Andrea picked out a new comforter for her bed, along with curtains. They had decided to move her into her own room. Allie and she both needed some independence and Allie's birthday was coming up in September. They would redo her room for her.

Mike and Andrea took a break from the shopping to eat lunch before doing the baby shopping. Thankfully, the Brazilian grill that they liked was not crowded. While they were waiting for their orders, they began listing everything they needed for their new baby.

"Stroller?" Mike suggested, and Andrea wrote it down.

"Get one with a car seat. I checked Lexi's old one. Expiration is past. And some of them grows with a baby." Andrea told him.

"Two foundations for it? One for the SUV and one for the truck?" Mike suggested, and Andrea added it.

"We have a crib. Need a bassinet for our room and a pack and play for downstairs. Also need baby monitors. Do you mind him being in with us the first couple months?" Andrea asked.

"We had Lexi until she was six months old. When a baby is that little, I think they need to be close by. So, clothing wise?" Mike continued.

"I am fine with the plain white onesies. Its summertime and if he is like his daddy; he'll be hot natured. Maybe a half dozen cotton sleepers, some receiving blankets, socks, and little hats. I haven't ever shopped for a baby boy before; so, this is all new. I did talk to my doctor about having a home delivery. He is okay with Christine delivering the baby and has an on-call midwife he wants us to meet in case Christine can't. Doesn't anticipate any issues and thinks I will go before the due date. He's guessing thirty-seven to thirty-eight weeks." Andrea told Mike as their food arrived.

"You and the baby will be okay?" Mike asked as he began eating.

"Yes. The last month is just him getting bigger. He is measuring at just over five pounds and is already doing practice breaths. Doc is certain he will be fine for a home delivery." Andrea assured him as she reached over and squeezed his hand.

"And you? Lexi was not a tiny baby." Mike remarked.

"I will be fine. Stop worrying." Andrea teased. She knew Mike worried himself sick over the people he cared about.

"This is my…I am not even going to count how many kids and I am still going to worry. A lot can happen." Mike stated as Andrea stole a piece of his steak.

"Granted, which is why I love the idea of Christine delivering him. She's invested, mostly because of you. I am worried about her feeling…jealous, watching you with me. I remember how supportive you were during the labor with Lexi. It might hurt her to watch you." Andrea said with a worried smile.

"Because of being there with three of our babies?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Andrea confirmed.

"It will bring back memories; both happy and sad, because of Lucas and not being there with the triplets. We can talk to Christine and see how she feels. That is the best suggestion I have." Mike remarked.

"I might do that. Any odd stories that I need to hear? Passing out, throwing up?" Andrea teased.

"None of the above. Christine had Lucas at home and wanted me to deliver him. I drew the line at that." Mike admitted.

"Do you regret not delivering him?" Andrea asked.

"Now, knowing what I know, yes. It could have been just one more time that I could have held my boy, even though I would have been handing him over to Christine immediately." Mike said morosely. Andrea felt horribly.

"I didn't mean to dredge that up! Geez, Mike. I was kind of teasing." Andrea admitted.

"I know. It's okay. I still don't want to deliver this baby. Be there, definitely; deliver him; no." Mike stated.

"Still, it has to hurt. I didn't think about that with Lexi but this baby…being a boy…" Andrea pressed.

"A little. Trying not to focus on that though, just you and the baby." Mike told her with a smile.

"I'm worried about you. You do have a lot on your plate right now." Andrea stated. She had reached over and stroked Mike's cheek.

"And worried about Hannah recovering, this Navy thing with Hil, bonding with the triplets, Lexi adjusting to not being the baby anymore, Dana and her insecurities about staying with us, Allie's nightmares, Charlie and his sudden independence, and is this new curriculum going to work with Paul?" Mike listed.

"Mike, it will work out. Don't stress. I know that sounds stupid, but it will be alright. Just have faith. Hannah will recover. Her mom is a nurse and she won't let her overdo. I think Hilary is just wanting to make sure you have the chance to bond with the triplets. She is afraid that once Christine dies; they will lean on her. Assure her that we will help with her schooling. The bond with the triplets will take time. Lexi is flexible. She will adjust, and she is only two. The bedroom will cement Dana being with us. Allie didn't have a nightmare last night, after you and she talked. Paul is doing great. The teacher told me that with kids like him, there are keys. She thinks she has found Paul's key. And you are worried about Christine?" Andrea added.

"Of course, and you." Mike agreed.

"Because of the baby?" Andrea asked.

"Yes, but not totally. I am afraid of your reaction as to what will happen with Christine as she's dying. If she…needs me like your mom needed your dad." Mike told her.

"I don't want Christine to go through what my mom went through. Her last days, she remembered when she was happiest; with my dad when they were first married. I would not be shocked if Christine does the same thing. Mike, you are the love of her life. Despite all the pain and anger. She loves you and you love her. It is okay. I know the scenarios. I am okay with what is going to happen. I don't like her dying but I am alright with what you need to do. It is important to you and to your kids. You need to do this for them." Andrea told him.

"I really love you. I am not sure how it will help my kids let her go though." Mike stated.

"Because they will know, she will die happy. My mom died with tears in her eyes. Not because she was in pain but because my dad wasn't there. More then doing this for Christine, I need to let you do this for those precious kids. Christine has been writing letters for the kids the entire time she has been living at the guesthouse. For their graduations, birthdays, wedding days, etc. She has also written a few for you. I don't know how she is not jealous, but she isn't. I think its because she wants you to be happy." Andrea told him.

"She's really opened up to you." Mike acknowledged.

"We are both mothers. It's a bond. And I am going to be mothering her kids. She has been telling me all their little quirks. Even Hilary and Hannah. I didn't know that Hilary is so opposed to green food?" Andrea asked with a smile.

"Yes. She hates it. When she was six, she had her tonsils taken out. The nurse gave her green jello and then she got sick. I think that is where it came from. It was green. She doesn't mind the taste of the food, but the color gets her." Mike confirmed. It was something he hadn't thought of in years. Hilary just rejected anything green.

"And Hannah loves beets? Is that even normal? Christine told me to make sure when I made her birthday dinner, to make a dish of beets up." Andrea asked.

"Hey, now. I like beets. Hannah and I will share them. You can just leave us alone." Mike joked.

"Tyler hates birthday cake but will eat his fill of ice cream. Katie is allergic to garlic and Maggie is obsessed with cooking shows. Mini chef is what Christine called her." Andrea continued.

"She gave me the orders for the dollhouse last night. You cannot imagine the things she can came up with for the kitchen. It was a little ridiculous." Mike joked.

"And you will give her exactly what she wants. Christine told me you are also completely putty where your kids are concerned but I already knew that." Andrea teased.

"I do love my kids and I do spoil them. Except Dana, she won't let me." Mike admitted.

"Oh! That is why I picked up that pair of earrings. They are specifically for you to give to her. The rose gold ones." Andrea told him.

"I think she doesn't like me doing things for her because she is afraid that there will be…strings attached? I will expect certain things." Mike stated.

"Yes, exactly. Which is why I got her something that I knew she had been eyeing, for you to give her. You will prove that you don't expect that and just simply want to give her a birthday gift, one she will treasure. I did tell Christine that we are decorating her bedroom. She is crocheting her a throw for her bed. I think Dana will love it." Andrea told him.

"I'm sure. She already made a blanket for the baby. That's what she was doing in the hospital. Why she had you bring that bag. While Hannah rested, she crocheted. The baby blanket is soft. Maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you that." Mike admitted with a grin. He was not the best gift giver.

"I wondered when I saw the blue yarn. I was kind of hoping. I can't wait." Andrea said gleefully. They had finished eating and Mike was drinking a cup of coffee.

"Like I said; not sure I was supposed to say. We also need diapers, wipes and bottles." Mike said as he pointed at Andrea's list.

"Oh, that's right. You don't like nursing?" Andrea continued teasing and Mike made a face.

"I am a fan of the health benefits for the baby, but I think it is hard on the mom and doesn't aide in the bonding for the dad. And it takes my fun away for a while." Mike admitted.

"Uh-huh. I thought that might have something to do with it. I nursed Lily until I had to deploy, and I nursed Lexi. You will be fine. I am nursing this one. We will get a few bottles and a pump for this little guy, so you can feed him. Now, name?" Andrea asked.

"I like Christopher Logan. That's my vote. Course, you are the one that has had to carry him for nine months and will go through labor…without an epidural?" Mike asked.

"Home birth? No epidural." Andrea told him with a smile.

"Yeah, my vote doesn't count for much." Mike admitted.

"I let you name Lexi?" Andrea asked.

"I suggested Alexandra Suzanne? 'ASS'? Thank God you changed the middle name to Kara." Mike joked.

"Yes, that could have been bad. Then we shortened it to Lexi within just a few days of her birth. I thought the nurse was going to fall over from laughter when you suggested it. 'uh, Dad, that is a perfectly great name, but she will be the butt of all jokes until she changes her name, rather it is by marriage or legally.' Funny stuff." Andrea teased. Andrea had told all their friends and it had become a running joke.

"I liked the middle name!" Mike argued.

"You have several daughters. Hilary Suzanne? Hannah Suzanne? Katie and Maggie count but you didn't get to name them." Andrea said as the waitress showed up to clear their plates and give Mike the check. He paid it and they got up and left, taking Andrea's notebook with them.

"We gave Paul a middle name." Mike added. His parents hadn't bothered to name him at all. His first family hadn't gotten around to it, but Mike and Andrea had insisted.

"Paul Michael." Andrea had said with a smile. That had been her idea. They walked into the baby store and Mike groaned.

"I bet Christine wouldn't mind helping you with this." Mike said.

"I am sure she wouldn't, but I really wanted to spend the day with my very stressed out husband. Also, I need someone to do the heavier lifting. That's what I really needed." Andrea told him.

"Glad I can be of use." Mike teased back as Andrea started tossing baby clothes in the cart.

"I have a lot of uses for you. You make really pretty babies. And the making is a lot of fun." Andrea teased as she continued to sort through baby clothes.

"Oh, look at this one!" Mike said as he picked up a dark blue onesie that anchors all over it. Since their return on the Nathan James, parents loved dressing their babies and kids up as sailors. It had been obnoxious but now Mike was falling into it. He tossed the onesie into the cart without even checking the size.

"Mike, put that back. It is for six to nine months. It'll be wintertime before he can wear it. Granted, we live in Florida but still; his little legs will be cold. Here's a zero to three month one." Andrea said as she handed him the correct size and placed the wrong size on the rack.

"I just liked the anchors. Can we do some sort of sailor theme for his room? Its already painted dark blue. I think it would be adorable." Mike said.

"How about this? I am good with the sailor theme, but we hold off on getting decorations and bedding. You and Hannah do it. It will be a good father-daughter thing and she is into architecture and design. She can use it when she goes to school." Andrea suggested.

"Let's at least look? I like the idea of doing the room with Hannah but maybe just for the decorative stuff. I don't want to pressure her. She's in a lot of pain." Mike stated, and Andrea nodded. They were looking at receiving blankets and were both tossing them into the cart. Their baby would be very spoiled.

"Or take pictures? Stuff we like and see what she says." Andrea suggested, and Mike nodded. They moved into the bedding area and found several possibles for crib bedding. Mike snapped pictures of the ones they liked in addition to a rug for the floor and pictures for the wall. They did go ahead and get a few stuffed animals that Mike insisted on. They filled another cart with diapers and wipes, along with a pillow that Andrea needed to nurse with, nursing supplies and bottles. They paid for everything and as Mike was packing everything into the back of the SUV, he looked at Dana's birthday supplies.

"Wonder if Christine will hide this stuff for us? Dana's presents?" Mike asked.

"Already taken care of, Mike." Andrea told him.

"Of course. I just want her to have a good birthday. Poor kid hasn't had many. Aside from the ones we've given her." Mike stated.

"Mike, you are a really great dad but a party planner, not so much. I will handle the specifics. Christine will help. I will have you hang up decorations, though. I don't need to be on a step stool." Andrea stated as Mike got in the driver's seat.

"Yes, ma'am. And no step stools for you. I am excited for our boy and I want to hold him, but I want to wait until he is ready. A fall isn't good for you or him." Mike told her as he leaned over and kissed her.

"Agreed. Let's go home." Andrea said.

"You might even get a nap in before the kids get home. I did have a really good day. You never did say yes or no on the name." Mike asked.

"Nap is good, and I like the name. I think that it's the right one, but I want to meet him first." Andrea agreed, and Mike began the drive home. At least they were slightly prepared for when the baby made his appearance.


	12. Chapter 12

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 12

Mike had plans for the remainder of his time off. He'd have more time off once Christopher was born and after Christine died, whichever came first. Thankfully, he had the summer to help his 'first family' adjust to their mother dying, and to help with the baby. In the meantime, he had a nursery to set up, a birthday party to help with, and a hundred other things worrying him.

Christine was rallying, more because she was excited about Hannah's graduation. More excited about the prospect of Mike getting to see her graduate. He hadn't had that opportunity with Hilary and it was something they both missed. She was also excited about Dana's birthday.

On Thursday, Hilary had the morning off and Mike took the opportunity to take her for breakfast. He hadn't had a lot of time to talk to her and was still nervous about her possible career choice. He knew she was waiting for Christine to pass away before she joined, so that she didn't stress her mom out. As she sat and looked at the menu, he decided to bring it up.

"So, have you been looking at nursing schools?" Mike asked.

"Kind of. I have to find one that is okay with a GED. I quit school to help Momma out and then she got sick. College really was the furthest thing from my mind then. Or…rather, college for me. I wanted Hannah and the triplets to have the opportunity." Hilary told him.

"I…didn't know that." Mike remarked.

"And you're disappointed?" Hilary asked.

"No, quite proud of you. So, have you had any success?" Mike asked.

"No. Not going through a traditional nursing school or around here. I wouldn't think they would be so picky, but they are." Hilary answered.

"So…what's a non-traditional nursing school?" Mike asked, knowing what was coming.

"I could join the military and the GED wouldn't matter and they would help me through school." Hilary told him like it was perfectly natural.

"Which branch?" Mike asked.

"Better reaction then I figured…Navy?" Hilary told him.

"Honey, I am going to be proud of you regardless. I do want to say, you cannot join the military, Navy or any branch, simply to get an education. If you truly want to do this; I will ask two things; one, really think hard about this decision. Make sure it's what you want because I can tell you; as a Corpsmen, you will see…horrific things. More so then your mom ever saw. Corpsmen are knee deep in blood, guts and misery. Just make sure its what you really want. Secondly, give me the summer. Partly for me, partly for your mom and party for the other kids. I only just got you back." Mike stated.

"I was going to wait until after Momma…anyway, I have thought about this a lot and I really want to do this. I know you've said that Hannah and I have a place with you after Momma passes but I am worried about it. That is not the most important reason why I am doing this. You need the time with the triplets, without Hannah and me. She's going to college and I was going to be in the way. I also remember when I was little, watching you leave. You would be gone for months at a time, but I knew as much as I missed you, you were off making the world a safer place. A safer place for me. Sure, I wish I had had you home but now I know how important it was, what you were doing. I want to do the same for the triplets…and the other kids too. I understand what you're saying about the education, but that is not the only reason I am doing this. I am doing it to do what you did, make the world safe. That is the biggest reason, beyond everything else. I haven't talked to a recruiter yet; I know that it is a bit of a coup to sign someone on, even as an Admiral. I would prefer it would be you to do it then some recruiter that only is wanting to boost his numbers and look good because he recruited Admiral Slattery's daughter. So, yes I will wait for the summer and for Hannah to go to school." Hilary explained and as much as Mike's heart was broken; he could only nod. He was not the father that wanted his kids to follow in his footsteps because his footsteps left a bloody and painful trail.

"Deal. What do you want for breakfast?" Mike asked. He had to change the subject because of how badly he was hurting. It wasn't that he wasn't proud of Hilary but now he knew how his mom and Christine had felt all those times letting him go. Now, he would be the one letting someone he loved go into a war zone.

"The waffles. Dad, are you okay?" Hilary asked.

"Yeah…no, but I am not going to stop you. What I will do is enjoy every moment I have with you until you leave. Let's keep this between you and I for now, okay? I don't want your mom to have to think about this." Mike asked.

"Yeah, I hate lying to her, but I agree. She will only worry, and I don't want to do that to her." Hilary agreed. The waitress showed up and they gave her their orders.

"Just a lie of omission. She would be proud of you, but I know she would not love the danger aspect. Hannah getting shot took a lot out of her. No need for her to know this right now. Without a recruiter, I can control that." Mike admitted. He absolutely hated the idea of lying to Christine, but the woman deserved peace. Knowing her oldest daughter would be joining the Navy would not give her that.

"At least Hannah is feeling better. I can't believe she's already back to school." Hilary stated.

"I think she's pushing it a bit but she's tough. She promised to call me if she needed picked up early." Mike stated.

"You know what Momma mentioned last night and I don't know how possible it is, but she said she would really like to go to the beach again before she passes. Do you think we could do that?" Hilary asked.

"I think so. I'll talk to Andrea. She's starting to nest now but she loves the beach and will want your mom to have something she wants.

"She's…thirty-three weeks?" Hilary asked.

"Actually, closing out thirty-four. Lexie showed up at thirty-seven weeks. The doc tells us that after thirty-five, he'll be happy. Baby will be alright, and Andrea will be okay. She is wanting the home birth and your mom delivering him if she can. If not, we will have another midwife on call." Mike explained.

"I know Momma is sure excited about it. I think, more then Hannah graduating, that is what she is holding out for. The baby. But she also doesn't want Andrea to have him too early." Hilary said with a smile. All the kids were getting excited about their baby brother.

"Yeah, me either. Can you keep a secret?" Mike asked.

"Sure?" Hilary asked.

"We're naming him after your mom. Christopher Logan. The Logan is just a name we both like, but Christopher is for your mom." Mike told her, and Hilary smiled.

"She'll love that. It's an adorable name." Hilary stated, and their breakfast showed up. They spent the rest of the meal talking about the summer, Dana's party, Hannah's graduation and little things with the triplets. Mike purposely didn't bring up Christine's illness or Hilary joining the Navy. They both needed happy things to talk about.

 **I know it's a short chapter, but I wanted to update this one! I am drawing it to a close but unfortunately it will take a few chapters. Also, don't want to seem like I am taking over The Last Ship page!**


	13. Chapter 13

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 13

Mike and Andrea had made it a bit of a tradition to take the birthday kid out for breakfast. It gave them one on one time with Dana that they never got, and Christine and Hilary had volunteered to care for their other kids for a few hours. They tended to spoil all the kids on their birthdays and Dana was special. She didn't expect anything at all. She would be getting the party, new bedroom, some new clothes and some more grown-up jewelry. She picked a diner for breakfast, mostly because they had advertised cheap breakfast. They settled in a booth and Dana ordered the $2.99 pancakes.

"You can order anything you want?" Mike told her.

"I know. I want the pancakes. What are we doing today?" Dana asked. She was not aware of the party or anything.

"Just hanging out at the house. Did you want to do anything special?" Andrea asked.

"No, that's good. That's what I wanted to do. Maybe swim?" Dana asked.

"We can do that. Also, I'm making your favorite dinner tonight." Andrea told her.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. Its really hard." Dana commented as their breakfasts showed up.

"Spaghetti?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, spaghetti isn't hard at all. Although, full disclosure, Christine is helping me with the sauce. Apparently, hers is good." Andrea stated.

"Its delicious." Mike commented. Christine was a really good cook.

"Maybe she will write her recipe down? Mine isn't so good." Andrea stated, and Mike felt badly.

"I…didn't mean that." Mike started, and Andrea reached over and squeezed his hand.

"Its okay, don't worry about it. She's writing down some favorite recipes of the kids. I will just have her include the spaghetti sauce. No biggie. She's making an 'Andrea book' to help me out once she…anyway, no biggie." Andrea assured him quietly.

"Could she…would she…show me how to crochet?" Dana asked. She still struggled asking for anything, even basic needs.

"I will ask. I'm sure she would love to." Andrea told her. Dana smiled broadly and nodded.

"So, I can make my own socks and gloves and stuff. You won't have to buy them. And maybe when I really learn, I can make stuff for the kids and earn my keep!" Dana said excitedly, and both Mike and Andrea groaned. It was typical Dana, but it still bothered them.

"You live in Florida, so you don't necessarily need gloves. As far as earning your keep, you have a list of chores that you complete, and you help us out around the house and with the kids. In exchange we get a daughter who we love very much. Even if you didn't do that stuff, we would still love you. And when we adopted you, we promised the court that we would feed you, take care of your medical and educational needs, clothe you and protect you. We don't ask for you to do anything to make that happen." Mike answered. Normally it was Andrea that dealt with it when Dana came up with her odd beliefs.

"I…okay. I still don't understand why you all do that stuff. In my old foster home, my foster dad wanted me to…well, you don't expect that." Dana said simply.

"And I never will and that's a promise. Now, you've been eyeing my sausage this whole time. Do you want this link? I won't eat it." Mike asked as he put the sausage link on Dana's plate before she answered. He would have but he didn't need it.

"Sure, why not." Dana said as she began eating it. Andrea was finishing her own breakfast, but always ate slower when they were out, wanting to prolong the peace of only having one kid needing something. And Dana was self-sufficient. It was nice for Andrea and Mike wouldn't hurry her.

"Almost done, I promise." Andrea said as she leisurely ate her scrambled eggs. Mike smiled over at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Take your time." Mike assured her.

Andrea nodded and then resumed eating. Dana smiled at them and then looked outside. All Mike could hope for was that in watching them, she was taught how she should be treated by a man. His biggest hope for Dana was that she found someone who treated her like she deserved. She had the best heart and was completely selfless. She had been their first foster kid and from the moment they got her, they knew they would be adopting her. Even when she had been nervous and scared of Mike, she had healed their broken hearts so that they could take in and care for the other kids. They owed a lot to Dana.

"Okay, done." Andrea said finally. Mike had already paid the check and so Andrea slowly got out of the booth with Dana's help. The booth had been a mistake. "No more booths for the remainder of this pregnancy." Andrea joked. Mike had been on the inside of the booth, so he couldn't help her, but Dana was always willing.

"My mistake." Mike told her as she finally eased out and he followed her out with a hand on the small of her back. She had been having some Braxton Hicks contractions and was just generally worn out. Christine was also particularly worn out and Hannah was still requiring some care from her gunshot wound. They also had her graduation coming in soon and Andrea, Mike and Christine were planning on making her graduation party special.

The drive home was quiet, mostly because Andrea was so uncomfortable. Mike was worried about her, but she promised she was alright. She was thirty-six weeks along and given that Lexi had arrived at thirty-seven weeks, Christopher might show up early too. Their doctor didn't seem terribly concerned if he did, especially after he and Christine had had a conversation. There was also a midwife on standby if Christine become too tired or simply wasn't there. As soon as they got home, Dana went and changed into her swim suit, along with getting the other kids changed. Mike made Andrea sit down for a bit before she started cooking. Christine noticed what he was doing, and she quietly followed him into the backyard.

"She says its Braxton Hicks, but they are timing out about five minutes apart and her back is really bothering her. What do you think?" Mike asked.

"I think I need to check her. How sure are you on the due date?" Christine asked.

"Uh…this is weird." Mike started. How did he talk about his sex life with his second wife to his first wife?

"Mike, I'm a professional. I have seen the ultrasound pictures. The baby is big. They could have miscalculated. How frequently did or do you and Andrea have sex?" Christine asked without blinking. Almost like it was completely natural.

"Oh…geez. Uh…couple times a week." Mike answered.

"Your blushing. Its cute. So…she could be as much as thirty-seven weeks along. You better prepare for her to be in labor." Christine stated.

"This sounds dumb but where? We didn't think this through so well." Mike said, indicating the stairs.

"I can get up them. Just not make a lot of trips up and down. Depending on how quickly it goes, the kids might need to stay in the guesthouse tonight. Let me examine her and I will let you know." Christine said before walking out. Before Mike walked back into the living room; he encountered Dana.

"Sweetie…uh; so, Mom might be going into labor. We aren't sure but if she is…we had planned on having a birthday party for you and your favorite foods…and, a lot of stuff…I'm sorry…" Mike stammered but Dana smiled at him.

"Its okay! If she is, that means he might be born on my birthday! That's the coolest birthday present ever. I'll help with the kids, don't worry." Dana said happily.

"Thanks, sweetheart. We really are sorry. I love you." Mike told her as he gave her a pat on the shoulder. If it had been one of his other daughters, he would have hugged her but not with Dana.

"Its okay. Just take care of Mom and that baby. I'll have other birthdays. This one will be cool anyways. I love you too." Dana said before walking away. He was completely shocked by her sentiment, but he had to help both Christine and Andrea up the stairs. Hilary had gone back to the guesthouse to get Christine's 'kit.' Finally, they got to the master bedroom and Christine assisted Andrea with her clothing and after she laid down, covered her with the sheet and began an exam. Hilary brought the kit in and then went back downstairs, promising to keep the kids occupied.

"Alright, you are dilated to a seven and it seems you are going pretty fast. Mike, I think I will be okay so its up to you on the other midwife." Christine told him.

"If you think you'll be alright; I would prefer it just be me, you and Mike." Andrea told her.

"I'll be alright. This won't take long. I would guess by suppertime, you'll be holding your little guy." Christine told her as she propped pillows behind her.

"What do I need to do?" Mike asked. He felt a little off.

"My suggestion for you is to get comfortable. Change into comfortable clothes. I'll help her into a nightgown and get the bed ready." Christine instructed.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike told her as he helped Andrea into a chair. "I am going to run downstairs to check on the kids. Do you need anything?" Mike asked Christine.

"We are going to prop her up, so I will be kneeling on the floor to see better. I need some pillows down here. I hate to ask but…" Christine stated.

"Absolutely. We would be doing the same for any midwife." Mike told her before going downstairs. Hilary went and grabbed the requested pillows and the blanket that Christine had crocheted, along with her mom's water bottle, filled with ice cold water like Christine preferred.

"Dad, I know you're worried about Andrea and you need to concentrate on her but keep an eye on Momma, please? She had a rough night and I am worried about her. She's been in some pain. Once that baby is born, she's going to be exhausted, I'm afraid. I know you'll be all consumed with him and Andrea, but could you at least come get me, so I can take care of Momma?" Hilary begged Mike quietly. Mike took the time to put an arm around his oldest daughter and kissed the top of her head.

"I promise I will keep an eye on your mom. And, honey? I was not any less consumed when you were born. Still one of my favorite days; the day I become a dad. You are my first baby. Love you." Mike told her.

"I love you too, Dad. Don't worry about the kids. I got this." Hilary told him with a smile.

"What's the plan?" Mike asked.

"We are going to have a pizza party at the guesthouse. Movies, candy, popcorn. It'll be great. You can text once the baby is here, and I'll come over." Hilary told him.

"Thanks, sweetheart. Let me know if you need anything." Mike told her.

"Will do but concentrate on them." Hilary promised.

"Yes, ma'am. Kids, behave. Remember your buddies. Hilary is in charge. After that is Hannah and Dana. Dana, you are buddied with Lexi. Allie, can you handle Maggie and Katie? Paul, have you got Charlie and Tyler?" Mike asked. It was a system they had worked out.

"Yes, sir." The kids all said as a group.

"Alright, Hannah, I didn't leave you out. You are buddied with Hilary to help her out. Thanks, girls." Mike told them. He didn't want Hannah to overdo it and sometimes she still struggled with some anger towards Mike and Andrea. Usually it was when she felt left out.

"Okay, Dad. I'll help." Hannah told him quietly. He could see the pain and exhaustion on her face and even though he needed to get upstairs, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She gave him a slight smile and nodded. "I love you, sweetie. That isn't going to change." Mike whispered in her ear and she nodded back. He nodded again at Hilary and ran up the stairs with the requested items. By the time he got into the bedroom; Christine had Andrea positioned and was talking to Andrea's doctor on the phone. Mike positioned Christine's pillows, her water and kit where she could reach it and walked into the closet to change into a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt. When he walked back in; Christine was checking Andrea again and talking to her. Apparently, Andrea's water had broken while he was downstairs.

"I may have been wrong." Christine said. Mike immediately began panicking.

"Why?" Mike asked before sitting down on the bed.

"You maybe holding this baby by lunch. Its go time. You good, Andrea?" Christine asked.

"Yeah but this feels…awkward, like the pillows are going to fall?" Andrea stated.

"Alright, Mike; get behind her. That'll help with that." Christine instructed, and Mike complied. He gently massaged Andrea's back and let her lean against him while Christine settled on the floor beside the bed. She lifted the sheet and smiled up at them. "Little guy is like his daddy. Impatient. Andrea, a couple hard pushes and you'll be done." Christine told her.

"Mike, the kids? I don't want them to hear if I yell?" Andrea asked.

"They're at the guesthouse. Its okay. Just holler out if you need to." Mike told her. If Christine was uncomfortable with their odd circumstances; she didn't say anything.

"That's right. Don't worry about anything. Its just me, you, Mike and this baby and you're doing all the hard work. Contraction is about to hit and…one…two…three…push, push, push! You can do it." Christine told her, and Andrea groaned in between pushes.

"C'mon, you can do it." Mike told her.

"Aahhh…it hurts…" Andrea told them as she rested on Mike for a moment before she had to push again.

"You're doing great. Baby is crowning. Come on, you can do it!" Christine said as Andrea began pushing again.

"I'm thirsty." Andrea said as the contraction ended.

"Head is out so one more push and then you can have a drink of water. It'll be over before you know it. Mike, hand me that receiving blanket, please?" Christine asked, and Mike handed it to her.

"Do you have everything you need?" Mike asked. He could feel Andrea tensing up and took both her hands in his own.

"I am good. Concentrate on her. Ready, Andrea?" Christine asked.

"Yeah…oh…God…" Andrea said as she began pushing again. It felt like an eternity to Mike, but the reality was, it wasn't so long before he heard a baby cry.

"Perfect baby boy. Mike, pull her nightgown down so he can feel her skin. Do you want to cut the cord?" Christine asked.

"I can…" Mike said emotionally. His kid's births had always been emotional events for him. He had cried a bit each time.

"Alright. You know the drill." Christine said as she handed him the scissors. He made the cut and Christine put the baby on Andrea's bare chest. She was finishing up with Andrea, so Mike took a moment to concentrate on his wife and new son.

Christopher was absolutely perfect. He looked a lot like Lucas had when he was a baby. Andrea had a serene smile on her face and was kissing the baby. When Mike looked back at Christine, she had tears in her eyes. He nodded at her, understanding why.

"Thank you. He's absolutely perfect." Andrea said.

"I didn't do anything other then get to be the first one to hold him. Did you get a name picked out?" Christine asked, and Mike and Andrea exchanged a look.

"Yeah we do. Christopher Logan. Christopher is for you." Mike answered and the tears in Christine's eyes overflowed.

"Oh, you don't have to do that." Christine said, and Andrea nodded back at Mike. He could see the exhaustion on Christine's face, so he gently pulled her down on the bed beside Andrea.

"Chris, you have given me back my kids plus a few more. You have cared for them and been accepting of all this. You didn't have to be. You could have caused us a legal nightmare. This little boy may not know you as he gets older, but he will be told all about the woman who delivered him and was a friend to both Andrea and I. I've been a very lucky man because I've had two women in my life who loved me and supported me when I didn't deserve it. That has been more then most men ever get. And even now, you are still one of my best friends and I do love you. You have given me six of the most precious people in the world. We don't have one of them anymore, but it doesn't make your role any less important. You have also delivered this little guy, helped us keep Charlie and so many other things. So, yes; we can name our son after you." Mike told her firmly.

"I agree with everything he said. And I am okay with him telling you that he loves you. I also love you just like I would a sister." Andrea told her as she continued to kiss the baby who had already discovered his thumb. Mike knew they would have to swaddle him soon but for now, he was surveying his world from his mommy's chest.

"Well, he is a very lucky little boy. I do love you both. Here, we need to get him swaddled up. Mike can hold him while I help you clean up. Here's some water." Christine said as she handed Andrea her bottle of water. The baby was handed off to Mike who quickly bathed him, dressed him in a diaper and onesie and swaddled him while Christine helped Andrea out. It gave him some one on one time with the baby boy.

"Chris, how are you feeling? I am under strict instructions to look after you. Hilary scares me a bit too." Mike asked.

"I…am pretty tired. I am dreading going down the stairs." Christine admitted.

"Then don't. I am sure that Dana won't mind if you borrow her new bedroom for a few hours. Mike, why don't you help her?" Andrea suggested as she took the baby from Mike. Christine had helped her to lean back on their headboard and into a fresh nightgown. "She can borrow one of my sets of pajamas from pre-pregnancy. She's a bit taller but it will be alright."

"Yes, ma'am. Come on, Christine." Mike said as he offered Christine his arm. He knew he needed to just text Hilary, but it felt good to help Christine.

"Andrea, I crocheted this for him." Christine stated before handing the blue aphgan to Christine. It was a beautiful keepsake that probably should be put up but instead Andrea laid it across her lap and swaddled the baby into it.

"Its absolutely perfect. Thank you. So soft." Andrea said as she picked the baby back up. Mike nodded at her, knowing that Andrea would be asleep by the time he got Christine settled and had checked on the kids.

"Your welcome. Makes me feel good that I can give him something." Christine said as she stroked the baby's cheek.

"Get some rest. We'll be alright." Andrea told her, and Mike took Christine's elbow again and guided her towards Dana's bedroom. As soon as they walked in, she smiled.

"What a pretty room. Dana is a lucky girl." Christine said as she pulled the blankets back.

"We are lucky to have her. I will call Hilary to come over and help you undress. If you need anything, holler; okay? I'll be close, with Andrea." Mike told her as he helped her sit down.

"Alright, Mike; thank you. It means a lot that you named your son after me. And let me deliver him. That took a lot of trust." Christine said simply.

"No one I trusted more to deliver him. He reminds me a lot of Lucas. Get some rest." Mike said as he bent down and kissed Christine's cheek.

"Me too." Christine agreed, obviously thinking about the son that they had both lost.

"I'll send Hil to you." Mike told her, and Christine nodded.

"At one point, you would have helped me undress happily. And I realize that was probably inappropriate to say!" Christine teased.

"Oh well. Lightened the mood." Mike said as he walked out of the bedroom. He ran down the steps and over to the guesthouse and walked in.

"Is everything okay?" Hilary asked.

"Yeah. Baby is already here. Your mom needs some help. She's going to take a nap over there before trying the stairs. Can you go help?" Mike asked her quietly and Hilary immediately stood up to follow him. "Baby and Andrea is okay. I'm going back over with Hil, but you guys can come back over once your movie is finished, okay? You must be quiet. Hannah, you got this for a bit?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, all good." Hannah told him confidently with Lexi on her lap. She had become pretty attached to her while she recovered.

"Daddy, is the baby is still a boy? I didn't want it to be a girl because I didn't want to stop being your baby girl." Lexi asked.

"Guess what, Lex? You're my baby girl but so is Hilary and Hannah. Dana and Allie and Maggie and Katie too. That won't change, I promise." Mike told her before kissing her forehead.

"Let's go, Dad. I want to check on Momma." Hilary said, pulling on his arm.

"Yes, ma'am. You are a good daughter. Doesn't hurt that you'll get to sneak a peek at the baby too, huh?" Mike teased, and Hilary nodded.

"I just want to hold him since he's my birthday present." Dana said with a smile and Mike nodded at her.

"Just give us a bit and you can." Mike promised as he and Hilary walked out. As soon as they got to the second floor, they parted ways and Mike went back in with Andrea and Christopher.

"You okay? I've seen baby pictures of Lucas and I knew it was bothering you a bit." Andrea asked as Mike sat down next to her.

"Yeah. I'm okay. I promised Hilary she could look in on us and when the kids came back over; Dana could hold him since she considers him her birthday present. That okay?" Mike asked.

"Perfect. He is perfect. Barely cries." Andrea said with a smile. Mike could hear Christine and Hilary quietly talking and he settled next to Andrea to concentrate on their baby. Christopher opened one eye and gave him a slight smile and then wrapped his little hand around Mike's fore finger. Andrea had laid her head on Mike's arm.

 **I don't know much about labor and delivery so don't judge that! Slowly wrapping this story up as well. Please review. I love reading them.**


	14. Chapter 14

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 14

Christopher was already a very well-loved baby boy. He had several siblings that doted on him, his mommy and daddy was enthralled with him but his 'Auntie Christine' especially adored him. His birth had worn her out completely and she spent the next two days in her bed. Mike even had to carry her. She was also in constant pain and Mike had noticed bumps on her legs. He suspected the cancer was in her bones. At that rate, she wouldn't last long at all.

He had hoped that she would make it beyond Hannah's graduation, but he was beginning to wonder if she would even be able to attend. The sad part was Hannah seemed to instinctively know. About three days after Christopher's birth; he was downstairs with the baby so that Andrea could get some rest in the early morning hours before the other kids woke up and started fighting over who got to hold Christopher. He was shocked to see Hannah walk through the back patio and immediately opened the door for her.

"I saw the light on. I hope its okay that I come over?" Hannah asked as she sat down on one of the kitchen stools.

"Its always okay for you to come over but why so early?" Mike asked, and Hannah burst into tears. He laid Christopher down in his bouncy seat and wrapped his arms around Hannah. She cried for probably five minutes and all Mike could do was rub her back.

"I…guess I thought this whole time that Momma was somehow going to get all better. The doctor would call with some new treatment that would cure it. And she isn't going to get better, is she?" Hannah said between sobs.

"Oh, honey. I wish I could tell you that that was going to happen, but I can't. I wish I could. Your mom doesn't deserve to die in this kind of pain. I have seen…too many people die and most of them weren't the same sort of person as her, and they died in a lot less pain. It isn't fair at all." Mike told her. He knew it was no help, but he had to say something. Thankfully, Christopher was happy in his bouncy seat.

"I know its selfish but is she going to make it to my graduation?" Hannah asked as she wiped the tears.

"I don't know. I hope so. I know your mom has a lot of fight still in her and she will use the last ounce of it to be there if she has to." Mike told her.

"I…don't want her to do that. You can take a video of it and Momma can watch it here where its comfortable. I want her to use that last bit of strength to do something she really wants. She really wants to go to the beach one more time. I know she also really wants to be at my graduation, but the beach is for her; my graduation is for me. Can you figure out a way to get her to a beach?" Hannah asked.

"…Yes. I don't know how; but I will make it happen. How has your mom felt?" Mike asked.

"She spent most of the night crying because of the pain. If it wasn't for Hilary having to work yesterday and being so tired, she would have stayed up with Momma, but she needed to sleep so I did." Hannah admitted.

"You could have called me." Mike gently chastised her.

"I know but Momma is proud. I had to help her into the bathroom earlier and she was so ashamed. She puts on a good front in front of you, but she will never allow you to do these things for her. Its…just that Hilary is good at lifting her and I'm not. I'm afraid I will drop her and really hurt her. She's so fragile." Hannah explained, and Mike tilted her chin up so that she was looking at him.

"If something comes up and you need help lifting her, you call me. I will be right there." Mike told her, and Hannah nodded.

"But Andrea…you might have to help with some personal stuff and it might upset Andrea." Hannah worried.

"I will talk to Andrea and explain it, but I am certain she will understand. Just for clarification; what sort of personal stuff?" Mike asked so that he could give Andrea the full picture.

"On nights that Hilary has to work, Momma needs a shower. She's…sometimes she has trouble with her bladder. The bench helps but there is a little lip going into the shower. She can't always lift her feet up over that. On bad days. When Hilary is there, she knows how to maneuver Momma but I'm smaller then Hilary and my neck still hurts. I stretched something the other day and it's still sore." Hannah admitted.

"Oh, sweetheart. I wish I had known." Mike told her.

"It's okay. It's Momma and I didn't tell her. I don't want her to know. I've been icing it when she's been sleeping." Hannah assured him with no success.

"Alright, is it getting better?" Mike asked.

"Yeah." Hannah lied, and Mike gave her his best 'look.'

"Hannah? Do I need to take you to the doctor?" Mike asked.

"I don't think that's necessary. I'll be alright. I just don't want Momma to know. My question is, why would you do this for Momma? You and her…aren't married anymore?" Hannah asked.

"We…also didn't divorce. Its complicated. I never figured I would be in this situation. I still care very deeply for your mom. I love Andrea and she's my wife. But your mom; she is my first love. That's special. You can't replicate that. And for a long, long time; what your mom and I had was special, even specular. It was…amazing. Andrea knows and understands it because she had a similar relationship with Bill. She also had to watch her mom die from breast cancer. Her parents had divorced when Andrea was a toddler but when her mom become ill, similar to the stage that your mom is in now, she would remember a time in her life when she was happy; when she was newly married. Andrea seems to think that your mom will revert like her mom did. When she was young, in love, happy and her future was bright. Andrea wants your mom to have the peace that her mom didn't have so that means…I may have to play that part and Andrea will go along with it." Mike told her.

"I didn't know that. Momma has been talking a lot about the past. When she and you first met. Who knew you could be so romantic? She said that you guys always played Scrabble and you somehow spelled out 'Marry me?' on that board. Said that the engagement ring you got her was way out of budget too." Hannah said with a smile.

"I was just a young rookie cop and your mom only deserved the best. My dad fronted me the money because he didn't want me to finance the ring. I did yard and house work for a year to pay him off and our wedding was small but every time I look at her hand; I remember that. Him saying, 'Don't mortgage your future for happiness. Love doesn't take money. It just takes love. And Chrissy isn't the sort of girl that wants the moon, just a star or two." Mike reminisced.

"She has been looking at a lot of pictures too. Talking about things that happened. I didn't know that she had been accepted into medical school. Why didn't she go?" Hannah asked.

"She filled that form out and then discouraged herself. Threw it in the garbage. I fished it out and sent it off. Lo and behold; she got in despite the coffee stains. Harvard. But I had just joined the Navy a couple years before and didn't always do so good in the birth control department. She was pregnant with Lucas. We were in the height of a war, I was climbing ranks and had two little girls already, plus a baby on the way. I told her we would make it work but she didn't go. I know she doesn't regret it, but I regret it for her. I could have figured something out, so we could move to Boston as a family. My commission was up. I could have gone back to law enforcement to pay the bills, but your mom had dreams of me wearing the Admiral's Stars. Instead of Boston, we moved to Maine. She was miserable. She would never admit it though. That was the sort of wife and mom she was. Always putting us ahead of herself. After Lucas was born, she become a midwife. I never heard her complain about it. She loved midwifing. The hours were long and higher stress then nursing had been, but she took the mother and baby's health very seriously. To my knowledge, she has never lost a patient." Mike filled Hannah in.

"As tired as she is, she was thrilled to get to deliver Christopher. She sure loves him." Hannah said as she tickled the baby's foot and clucked at him.

"I hate that it cost her so much energy, but I would have never taken that from her." Mike stated.

"She says he looks like Lucas did. I don't see it." Hannah said as she studied the baby.

"He has Lucas's eyes and mouth. I think his hair will be lighter too, but it can change. Lucas resembled me and unfortunately; Christopher seems to favor me." Mike commented as he looked at the three-day old baby boy.

"Yeah, poor kid." Hannah teased.

"Hey, now. You resemble your mom closely but somewhere in there…I'm somewhere. Chin? Ears?" Mike teased back. It was an old joke.

"I'm taller then Momma. I read somewhere that kids get their height from their father but that doesn't explain Hilary. So…maybe my height?" Hannah told him.

"Maybe. You know, its fun when a baby is this age to theorize who they look like. When you were a baby your Gram thought you looked just like me but then your looks changed when you were about a year old. Babies become toddlers and then they lose that baby look. I always hated that. Babies like Christopher; they are fresh and new. Most of them haven't been faced with pain yet. Their parents, their siblings are their whole world. Within just a few years, pieces of their innocence go away. They start losing people. Its about to happen to the triplets and they don't understand it. And the part that really stinks is; your mom and I can't prepare them. Like you; it will hit them, probably after she dies. Until then, its probably not the greatest parenting but we let them keep that innocence." Mike commented.

"That's…sad. I hadn't thought of it like that. I just knew Momma didn't want them to know how sick she is and that's why she lets them live here rather then the guesthouse. Partly to help them bond with you but also to hide her illness to a point." Hannah stated.

"The part that I hate about that is that I think it causing your mom some sadness. They are slowly adjusting and not seeking her out. That was kind of the point, so that it wasn't a huge adjustment after she passed away, but it also is kind of sad for her too." Mike agreed.

"Has Andrea told you about the…well, it started out as letters, but she has switched to notebooks. Hilary splurged and got her nice leather-bound journals for all of us. She has one for each of us kids and then one for you and one for Andrea. I know Andrea's has favorite recipes and stuff in it. Not sure on the others. I…can't read them. Not sure when I will be able to read mine." Hannah commented.

"I knew she was writing letters and knew she had a notebook for Andrea with favorite recipes and quirks where you kids were concerned. Didn't know about the notebooks." Mike commented.

"Yeah. She's also been making quilts for us too. She is working on yours and Andrea's right now. When she is having bad nights and can't sleep, she sews or crochets. It's almost obsessive." Hannah told him.

"I…don't expect that and I know Andrea will agree with me." Mike objected. Christine had always sewn and quilted. It was her way of decompressing. She did beautiful work.

"Maybe but Momma feels…not obligated. She wants you to have something from her." Hannah stated.

"I do. I have you kids. There isn't a more precious gift." Mike told her sincerely.

"Something…okay, we're tangible so that's not the correct word. I don't know. I just know that Momma isn't going to give up until she gets the quilt finished. As much as I don't want her to die, I hate seeing her in pain; so, I've been helping her. I may end up finishing it for her, but it is getting done. She had Hilary scope out the colors that were in your bedroom and while I was recovering, I started helping her." Hannah told him.

"We probably won't put it on the bed though." Mike commented.

"She thought of that and has put these tabs on it. It can hang. Its big enough for the bed. Dad just accept it. It means a lot to Momma. She is putting a lot of love into that quilt. She did ask me and Hilary to do something and you and Andrea may disagree…" Hannah said, obviously hesitating.

"What?" Mike asked.

"She wears her wedding band and engagement ring on her right hand. She couldn't take it off completely, so she moved it…she wants them moved to her left hand after she dies." Hannah filled him in. Mike sit back in his chair and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure what to even think about it. "Dad, its okay if you don't want to do it. Neither of us have promised her. She wouldn't know." Hannah said as she patted his knee.

"Let me talk to Andrea. I know the rings…and the hands that they are on is symbolic but it…it's hard to explain. Just don't lie to her, okay?" Mike asked.

"I understand. I better go back over there." Hannah said as she stood up. She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He had to wonder if he had upset her by not immediately agreeing to it, but Andrea had a voice in it too. He and Andrea had a lot to talk about and he needed to get a day at the beach setup while Christine still could.

"You call if you need me, okay? I love you." Mike told her before she walked oud.

"I will. I love you too." Hannah said before leaving the main house. Mike looked down at Christopher and smiled. He picked the baby back up to begin the trek back upstairs.

"What do you think about that, Christopher?" Mike asked him, and Christopher cooed back at him. The baby's sweet innocence was the perfect medicine to Mike's pained spirit. He had hoped that he could remain strong for his kids, but it was not going to be easy.


	15. Chapter 15

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 15

It was not easy, but Mike managed to give Christine her day at the beach with the kids. It included renting a half-mile span of beach, so they would have privacy, going ahead of his family and setting up a tent so that Christine wouldn't get overheated and then carrying her to the beach once Andrea arrived with her in the SUV. Hilary and Hannah had followed with coolers of picnic items and drinks.

With the amount of kids that Mike and Andrea had, beach outings were difficult, but it was important to give Christine the day. Important to Hilary and Hannah, so it was important to Mike and Andrea. The younger kids were thrilled with the prospect of playing all day in the water and sand. Andrea was still recovering from Christopher's birth and the baby and she would spend the day under the tent with Christine. Mike helped the two older girls carry the coolers to the tent and then the various games commenced.

Before the Red Flu, Mike and Christine had taken their kids to Virginia Beach for a long weekend. Christine had been able to play beach volleyball then. Today, she was just enjoying watching the kids and Mike play. Charlie had opted out of the game to build sandcastles next to Christine and Andrea. Lexi was too little, so she was next to Andrea, giving her baby brother kisses.

"Thank you for this. I know this had to be a logistical nightmare for you and Mike." Christine stated.

"Mike did all the planning but your welcome. I love the idea of a beach outing." Andrea assured her.

"I know it sounds silly, but I just really wanted a day at the beach. Wanted to see them playing and having fun." Christine told her.

"It's a good memory for them. Mike too. He needed this." Andrea said as she looked towards her husband who was currently showing Paul how to serve the volleyball.

"I hate how much he's having to do for me. And it must make you nervous." Christine said. Andrea looked over at her, trying to come up with the best answer. There wasn't one.

"Chris, I'm the other woman in this. I knew when Mike and I started dating that there was a possibility of you showing up. He didn't want to have you, or the girls declared deceased. Fought it hard. His heart was completely broken. It was a while before we started dating and even then, he felt terribly guilty. He still feels horribly. I may be married to him now and I don't doubt that he loves me, but you are his first love. I get that because I am the same way with Bill. Mike is amazing, and I love him dearly, but he isn't Bill, just as I am not you. All we can do is make the best of a bad situation. I trust you and Mike. You need help and your children need to see their father giving it to you. He's a gentleman. I remember when my mom died. She cried for my dad. The one thing I can do, for you, for Mike, for those kids is to do this. Let him help you." Andrea assured her.

"I do appreciate that. You are a good woman. We can both agree that Mike is a special guy. I'm glad he chose you and that you were able to help him. And I am sorry about your momma. No one deserves to die like that." Christine said as she squeezed Andrea's hand.

"Thank you. Lex, why don't you play with Charlie for a bit? Leave bubby alone?" Andrea suggested, and Lexi jumped over Christine to play with Charlie. Andrea picked Christopher up and handed him to Christine since she didn't have the strength to pick the chubby baby up anymore. Christine adored the baby and Christopher seemed to reserve all his smiles for her.

"Oh, sweet baby boy. He reminds me of Lucas." Christine stated as she laid the baby on her legs and raised her knees up so that Christopher could see her.

"There are times I think he looks a little like Lily too. I really did when Lexi was a baby, but her hair has gotten darker, closer to Mike's color then my own." Andrea stated. Lexi had Mike's darker red hair, much like Hilary. Hannah was all Christine and the triplets were a mixture of Mike and Christine.

"Genetics are a funny thing. I think Tyler is all Mike. He looks like him, acts like him despite just getting to know him, walks like him, everything. Hilary is also a lot like her dad." Christine said with a smile. It was obvious how much she loved her children. Andrea could only hope that she could love them like Christine hoped she could. Christine was a much better mother then Andrea.

"I see some of Mike in Hannah too. Her persistence. How tough she is." Andrea stated.

"Mmm-hmm, but Hannah is a Momma's girl. Always has been. She loves her daddy, but I worry about her after I'm gone. I am afraid she will take my choice of absence and run with it. Cost herself a relationship with her father. That worries me more then anything." Christine told her, obviously very worried.

"I've thought of that too. Maybe the kids will be what draws her back. She and Lexi are really close." Andrea said as Lexi ran to Hannah who bent over to look a shell that Lexi had found.

"I hope. Hannah is…impulsive. Like me." Christine admitted.

"And her dad. I will be the bridge back to her father if need be. I don't want you worrying too much about her. Mike and I will make sure she is alright." Andrea told her. There was a lot Christine didn't know. About Hilary joining the Navy and about Hannah's breakdown. She had sought Mike out. That meant a lot.

"Only if she lets you." Christine commented.

"We will do our best. We do have a very cute two-year-old who Hannah is pretty attached to. She is also just a bit partial to that little guy." Andrea said, pointing at Charlie, who was still playing in the sand next to Christine.

"They are pretty special. Charlie, what are you building?" Christine asked.

"Noah's Ark." Charlie answered. It didn't really look like anything, but the two women smiled at his imagination.

"I see. That's one of my favorite stories." Christine told him.

"I like the whale story best." Charlie told her, and Andrea looked at Christine in confusion.

"Jonah and the Whale?" Christine asked.

"Yeah, where the mean, ole' whale swallowed Jonah because he didn't do what God said. That's why I listen to Mommy and Daddy. Its kind of like God and I don't want to get swallowed by a whale." Charlie told her, and both women started laughing hysterically. Charlie looked at them strangely but then went back to what he was doing.

"You should definitely always listen to your mommy and daddy." Christine told him.

"Who told you that Daddy and I were like God?" Andrea asked.

"Aren't you?" Charlie asked. Christine and Andrea exchanged a look and grinned at each other.

"Sure, just remember, God is God. We are just Mommy and Daddy." Andrea told him, and Charlie nodded. "Parenting Fail on my part?" Andrea asked.

"Nah. He knows the difference. In the meantime, its really cute." Christine told her.

"I suppose." Andrea agreed. It was adorable. They never had any behavioral issues with the little guy anyway. He was becoming a perfectly normal seven-year-old little boy.

"When Lucas was about four; he was convinced Mike was Captain America. It was hilarious because we were at some pre-arrival thing before the James arrived back at port and told an Admiral that his daddy was Captain America. I was so embarrassed." Christine said.

"What'd the Admiral say?" Andrea asked.

"Just laughed and then asked for Mike's rank and name. Of course, he was not close to being a Captain then. I remember the Admiral bending down and telling Lucas that of course, his daddy was Captain America. Least he didn't get upset. I was mortified." Christine admitted.

"Was probably a dad and understood that kids have a weird perspective when their parent serves. Lily thought I was like Rosie the Riveter from World War II. I think in some ways, it keeps them from resenting that parent for their frequent absences." Andrea explained.

"I agree. The girls had a Mike in a hero-complex; for sure. Their daddy was their biggest hero and I was…still am fine with that." Christine said as they looked towards the beach, where Hilary and Hannah had both tackled Mike. They had both been soaking wet and all Christine and Andrea could hear was laughter. When the three of them stood up, they were absolutely covered in sand. The girls ran back to the water, but Mike headed towards them. He sat down next to Charlie and surveyed the mound of sand. Lexi had followed him and landed on his lap.

"Buddy, what are you making?" Mike asked Charlie.

"Noah's Ark." Charlie told him, and Mike nodded. He reached for Christopher, but Christine shook her head. The baby was still on her legs and was quite happy, chewing on his hand.

"Sand not good for a baby and you're covered." Christine objected.

"Don't look at me. I agree. Christopher would try and lick it or something." Andrea told him.

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, son; have to hang out with the ladies." Mike told Christopher who just smiled at him.

"Charlie doesn't mind either." Christine told him, and Mike nodded. Despite how well Charlie did, he was still a little hesitant where Mike was concerned. He was getting a bit better every day.

"Hilary and Hannah conspired against me. And I think Dana and Allie helped. Lexi, you're still my buddy, right?" Mike asked the little girl on his lap.

"I'm your bestest friend, Daddy!" Lexi said as she threw her arms around Mike's neck and kissed his cheek.

"I love you, sweetheart." Mike told her.

"I love you way more!" Lexi told him.

The kids were all getting hungry, so they had a picnic under the tent. Hannah had worn herself out and ended up falling asleep between Christine and Andrea with her head on Christine's shoulder. For Christine, it was an absolutely perfect day. She had Hannah sleeping next to her, was able to hold the baby and watch the other kids play.


	16. Chapter 16

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 16

Christine continued getting weaker every day, but she seemed to want to go to Hannah's graduation. Mike had bought a wheelchair and he would have to help Christine in and out of it. He had also been having to help her into the shower when Hilary was at work. Thankfully, Andrea completely understood what he was doing, even helping at times.

Christine spent a lot of time sleeping. When she wasn't, she spent valuable time with her kids. Her quilts and books were done, and she was simply waiting on Hannah to graduate. Hannah knew and understood what was happening and even begged Christine not to go but Christine insisted. Mike knew that Christine would only last a few days after, but he didn't have the heart to tell Hannah that.

He had gotten Hospice to come in, met with the funeral home to make sure that Christine's wishes were honored and that the funeral was paid for, spoke with a pastor and read up on end of life care. Fortunately, he had time off work and Andrea helped. Tom had even helped him build a wheelchair ramp. He had taken over most of Christine's care; not wanting to obligate his older daughters. They needed to enjoy the time with their mother, and not worry about baths and such.

The day of Hannah's graduation, Mike and Andrea were exhausted. Mike had been up all night with Christine and Andrea had been up several times with Christopher. Dana was also tired because she had been helping Andrea with Christopher during the night. Mike had wanted the day to be one about celebrating Hannah and her accomplishments, but Christine's condition overshadowed everything. As Mike helped Christine into her wheelchair, she touched his shoulder.

"Mike, I really appreciate everything you are doing. I know you are exhausting yourself and this means a lot." Christine told him weakly as he adjusted her feet on the rests.

"Its not that much. I just want the kids to spend time with you and not worry about all the logistics. It's the most I can do." Mike explained as he put a blanket over Christine's lap. She always was cold even though it was eighty degrees out.

"You are dealing with more then logistics, Mike." Christine argued.

"Maybe so. Alright, you good?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. Let's go." Christine stated. Andrea was getting the rest of the family in the SUV and Mike rolled Christine out. Once his family was settled, he lifted Christine up and Hilary helped her buckle up. He put the wheelchair in the back along with Christopher's stroller and lawn chairs. Christine napped on the way to the stadium and upon their arrival, Hannah left to meet with her counselors to go over her speech and get ready, while Mike got the rest of his family in a good area, so Christine could see Hannah and hear her give her speech.

There was a choir and then a couple other speeches. Finally, Hannah stood up to give her speech. Her long brown hair was flying around in the wind and she looked very mature in her cap and gown, but Mike and Christine could only remember their curly haired toddler who could get into more trouble then they thought possible.

 _"Almost seven years ago, a pandemic struck and killed most of the world's population. Once things finally cleared up, it become obvious that it would be this generation; our generation, that would have to become what we never thought possible. Before the Red Flu, we talked about millennials and such. Now, every single member of this class is going to college, into trade school or into a branch of the military. It is quite possible that one of us might become the President of the United States. One of us might be the scientist who finds the cure for cancer. The sky is the limit._

 _I am not going to bore you with another speech. We all want to get out of here and celebrate our accomplishments with our families and friends. We have our teachers and parents to thank for this. A lot of pressure has been put on us, but at the same time; our parents and teachers reminded us to just be kids. Enjoy this time, this summer and then go make your mark on this world."_

Hannah finished her speech and led her small class in throwing their caps in the air. The principal had already handed out diplomas. It took a couple minutes before Hannah got back to her family, giving hugs to her classmates and teachers. Andrea had brought a camera and Mike, Christine, Hilary, Hannah and the triplets all posed. It struck Mike that it was probably the last picture that Christine would ever be in. One of Hannah's classmates also took a picture of the entire family. It would be one that Mike would always treasure.

Due to Christine's failing health, Hannah had asked that they not have a huge graduation party, instead opting for a quiet pool party with her family. Mike would barbeque and if Christine felt like it, she could stay in the backyard with the family. Andrea had ordered a cake and had gotten Hannah a pearl necklace for Christine to give her and a pair of matching earrings from her and Mike.

Lexi was not handling Mike's frequent absences well and she didn't understand what he was having to do and that it wasn't permanent. They had invited Tom and Sasha to the barbeque and Tom handled the grill while Mike took some time cuddling his youngest daughter. Andrea and Hilary had all the food set-up and it was just a quiet evening. Christine was absolutely exhausted but was insistent that she would stay outside throughout the party.

About nine, Christine finally gave in. Mike and Hilary helped her inside and Hilary helped her into her nightgown. As Mike was helping her into bed, he noticed the mottling on her legs. The hospice nurse had told him that it could be a sign of Christine passing away within a few hours or even days. Hilary had walked into the living room to get Christine's book and Christine motioned for Mike.

"Did you see my legs?" Christine asked.

"I did. How do you want me to handle it?" Mike asked.

"I…I honestly don't know. I want to spend my time with the kids, but I don't want them haunted by this. When things get bad, don't force the triplets to stay here, okay? I know Hilary and Hannah will be here and you will be here but the triplets…they are so young, still. I also don't want you to exhaust yourself with this; with me. Andrea and the older kids understand but Lexi doesn't and Christopher…he needs time to bond with his daddy. He's barely had that." Christine commented.

"He will have that time, Lexi too. I am not leaving Hilary and Hannah to deal with this alone. I can't do that to them." Mike argued.

"And that is what makes you such a good dad, but they are not your only kids. You don't owe me this. You should be angry at me for keeping the kids away. I will take that regret with me to the grave. Had I not, maybe…maybe these rings would be on my left hand but then you wouldn't have what you have with Andrea and you wouldn't have adopted Dana, Allie, Charlie or Paul. You wouldn't have had Lexi and Christopher." Christine admitted as she gestured at her right hand.

"I could never be angry at you. I just know, I have to help the girls with this. I have failed them…and you but I can do this. It is important to me." Mike insisted, and Christine reached up and stroked his cheek.

"You were always an amazing husband and father. I was lucky to have you and so is Andrea and these kids. Never doubt that. We all love you, so much. Mike don't let this scar you. The kids need you to be strong, but they also need to see you grieve; that is, assuming you'll be grieving for me." Christine said self-consciously.

"Of course, I will. You settled?" Mike asked.

"I am okay." Christine said just as Hannah and Hilary walked back in. Hilary had a slightly stressed look on her face.

"Is everything okay?" Mike asked her.

"Yeah, the triplets are wanting to have a sleepover." Hilary told him. He could tell by her mannerisms there was something else.

"And?" Mike asked.

"Uh…well, they want to have a sleepover with you and Momma. And Hannah and I." Hilary told him.

"Oh." Mike said, torn on what to do.

"Andrea heard Maggie ask. She said it was fine, but I think you better talk to her first." Hilary told him, and Mike looked towards Christine. She had heard the conversation and he couldn't miss the look of hope in her eyes. He wasn't sure if it was because she wanted a sleepover with their kids or having him included.

"Alright. I will be back." Mike said before leaving the bedroom. He had mixed feelings about it. He walked through the backyard and into the house where Andrea was packing a bag for the triplets, who were already in their pajamas. She smiled at him and he gave her a kiss. "Hilary said you heard what Maggie asked?" Mike asked.

"I did. Its okay, Mike. I was expecting it, honestly. Its important." Andrea said but Mike could tell that something was amiss.

"Talk to me? You're worried?" Mike asked. The triplets had run upstairs to get dollies and stuffed animals.

"Mike, its fine." Andrea insisted as she picked Christopher up. He could tell it was a defense mechanism.

"I can stay here…" Mike stated.

"No, Mike. You should go. Its important to the kids. I know that nothing will happen. You'll have three seven-year old's between you and her and probably Hannah and Hilary." Andrea said.

"Hey, that will never happen. I would never cheat on you." Mike insisted.

"Mike, seriously; its okay. Besides, let's not forget, I am the other woman in this scenario." Andrea stated as she bounced Christopher up and down. Mike pulled her into a hug with Christopher still in her arms.

"You are so much more than that and this is temporary. The next few days maybe rough but it is not going to last." Mike told her quietly.

"Don't wish time away. The kids need this time with her and they need to see her happy, which means that you need to play the doting husband; something you are quite good at. I know I'm not losing you. The older kids get it. Lexi won't remember this time. She's jealous right now but it will be alright." Andrea said. The triplets were making their way down the stairs with Lexi at their heels.

"Alright but you'll call me if you need anything?" Mike asked.

"Absolutely. I am going to spend the night cuddling with Christopher and Lexi. We will be alright." Andrea assured him, and Mike kissed the top of Christopher's head and then gave Andrea a kiss. He pulled away and Andrea indicated his pajama bottoms on the top of the triplet's bag. "Alright, Lexi, give Daddy a kiss. He'll be next door tonight." Andrea instructed as Mike picked Lexi up. He felt the little girl tense up and knew she was about to have a temper tantrum.

"Hey, guys; go on over. I'll be there in a minute." Mike told the triplets who ran out the open French doors. Lexi had her arms crossed over her chest and was pouting. Her little bottom lip was puckered out and she was definitely giving him her mean face. "Hey, its just for the night. Besides, its already past your bedtime." Mike told the little girl. He tried to give her a kiss, but she pushed him away.

"Lexi, stop." Andrea warned. She was typically Lexi's displinarian.

"No! You never spend time with me anymore! You love those other kids more then me and…put me down!" Lexi cried. She was kicking at Mike and he decided to put her on the couch instead of her injuring herself. He tried to be gentle, but she kicked his stomach just before he got her sat down and ended up plopping her down rather hard. He could tell it hurt her and her big blue eyes were welled up with tears. "Ouchie!" She yelled.

"I didn't mean to sit you down so hard, Lex. I'm sorry." Mike said as he tried to sit down next to her. She immediately kicked him. Andrea had put Christopher into his bouncy seat and sat down on her other side.

"Mike, why don't you go ahead and go? We'll be alright. Lexi and I are going to be having a little conversation." Andrea encouraged.

"You sure?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, its for the best. I think she is just overly tired and overdone." Andrea told him, and he nodded. He bent over and gave Lexi a kiss on the top of the head and then gave Andrea another kiss.

"Alright; call me if you need anything. I love you. Love you, Lexi." Mike told them both.

"We love you, too; don't we, Lex?" Andrea asked and got another pout from their very sullen almost three-year old. She just shrugged and nodded at him. "We do love you." Andrea said as Mike grabbed the bag of his and the triplet's belongings.

"I don't…" Lexi started but Andrea clapped her hand over her mouth and nodded at Mike. Neither of them wanted Lexi to finish her sentence. It wasn't like she understood what she was saying anyways.

"Call me if you need anything." Mike told Andrea before heading out the door. He felt terribly about leaving Andrea to deal with it and knew that they were all exhausted. Lexi was just vocalizing what they all felt. Pulled in different directions, overwhelmed and just brokenhearted. Who could blame a two-year-old for being upset? He walked into the guesthouse and headed for the bathroom to change into his pajama pants. He had a t-shirt on that could be worn to bed. Christine and their kids were already settled in bed and he had locked the door behind him. He walked into the bedroom and put his cellphone on the bedside table and crawled in next to Tyler. The little boy smiled at him and Mike wrapped his arms around him.

"We're watching Lion King, Daddy!" Maggie told him. She was laying next to Christine and Hannah and Hilary were on Christine's other side. Katie was on Tyler's other side.

"Is that so? That was always my favorite movie." Mike told her, and the little girl yawned in response. Mike pulled all three triplets closer and pulled the blanket closer around them. As tired and stressed as he was, it felt good to just relax.

 **I'm obviously drawing this to a close; but I don't want to hurry it. I also didn't want it to seem like everything was perfect, hence Lexi's little tantrum. I love reading the reviews and appreciate them all.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Very emotional chapter so just be prepared and have your tissues ready…I had difficulty writing this and reading it will be harder. I am not a medical expert so bare that in mind.**

 **To Have and to Hold**

Chapter 17

Mike woke up the next morning and smiled at his sleeping family. Christine was breathing well enough and he slipped out of the bed. It was early in the morning and Mike slipped out and walked over to his own house and up the stairs to his room. Andrea was still asleep with Christopher on her chest and Lexi was wrapped around her. He slipped his slippers off and got in next to Lexi. She didn't wake up, but Andrea did.

"Hey, there." Andrea said with a smile. He leaned over and gave her a kiss and then kissed Lexi on the forehead.

"Hey. Did she calm down?" Mike asked.

"She's still upset. I told her that you didn't mean to sit her down that hard, but she doesn't understand and it's only going to get harder." Andrea admitted.

"I don't think Christine has much more time." Mike reminded her.

"She doesn't but then you will be busy with the kids; trying to help them. Grieving with them and holding them. I understand it and I know you need to do this, but Lexi is little. She just knows that the daddy that has always been a part of her life is suddenly not as involved. I made the mistake of telling her that you hadn't seen Hannah or Hilary for years and didn't even know about the triplets; so, to Lexi, in her little three-year-old mind; you are trading her in for kids you don't know." Andrea explained.

"So, how do I fix it?" Mike asked.

"Let her wake up with you holding her, for starters. Believe me, Mike, I am okay with what you're doing, and I understand. But explaining it to Lexi…not so easy." Andrea told him, and Mike picked up his youngest daughter and put her on his chest. He wasn't sure what it was supposed to show her, but Lexi cuddled up and Mike kissed the top of her head. He really didn't know what he was going to do about Lexi, but he refused to let it set the pace for the future relationship with her. "Mike, you are an amazing dad and I know you love all of your kids. I truly think this is a passing phase with Lexi. She has been thrown for a loop. In the past month or so; she's been faced with us adopting Charlie, having Christopher and having five siblings show up. That's seven kids that have shown up or made permanent members of the family. I love this big, crazy family. We love hard and we fight hard, but at the end of the day; we love harder. Lexi is fighting you pretty hard, but you are going to have to just love her harder; not so different then what you did with Hannah." Andrea encouraged.

"Well, I didn't necessarily do a great job with Hannah." Mike reminded her.

"Learn from your mistakes. You made the mistake of believing in the worst where Hannah was concerned. Don't do the same with Lexi." Andrea told him.

"I guess." Mike said. Lexi was rousing, and Mike gave her a kiss on the forehead. Lexi's eyes popped open and he gave her a smile. "I sure love my baby girl." Mike told her quietly. Lexi gave him a slight smile.

"Lexi, what did you have to say to Daddy? Mike, let her talk." Andrea ordered.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I just missed you. I know you gotta help Auntie Christine and Hilary and Hannah and they needed you. Mommy says that it won't be much longer, but Hilary and Hannah and the triplets will be really sad." Lexi said as she used his t-shirt to wipe her nose with. Mike started to talk but Lexi held up a finger. Leave it to his almost three-year-old to put him in his place. "Oh, yeah…I love you, Daddy." Lexi told him.

"I love you too, sweetie. I will need to help Auntie Christine and once she goes to heaven; I will need to be there for the triplets, Hilary and Hannah. They will be really sad because of their momma dying." Mike explained.

"Mommy said that you would be sad too." Lexi stated.

"Probably but I will need to concentrate on making sure Auntie Christine is comfortable and not in pain and then I'll need to make sure that the kids are alright, and I'll need to…" Mike started listing things off, but Lexi just looked at him.

"When you get sad, Daddy; I'll give you a hug and kiss. Don't worry." Lexi said as she wrapped her little arms around his neck.

"I will keep that in mind, sweetie." Mike told her. He needed to get back to the guesthouse but all that seemed to matter was the little girl in his arms. Christopher gave him a slight smile while trying to stuff his hand in his mouth and Andrea kissed his cheek.

"Mike, you better go. We'll be alright." Andrea instructed. He gave her another kiss on the lips and kissed Christopher on the top of the forehead.

"I'll help Mommy and I'll be a better girl, Daddy." Lexi promised.

"You are perfectly fine, baby girl. I love you." Mike assured her as he got out of the bed.

"I love you too, Daddy." Mike answered before stepping into the hallway. He checked on his other kids before leaving. Christine and the triplets were still sleeping but Hannah and Hilary were awake. Hilary had talked to her supervisor and gotten several days off; gearing up for Christine's death.

The triplets woke up when Christine did and after several kisses from their mom, went back to the main house. The hospice nurse came and after assessing Christine, sat down with Mike, Hilary and Hannah in the living room. Christine had gone back to sleep and it gave them time to talk.

"Given how her blood pressure is dropping and a few other signs; I would say twelve to fourteen hours. It could go longer but I doubt it. In her last hours, she will rally somewhat. Will eat and talk. She will also hallucinate. She may see family members that have passed away. She will also talk about experiences and memories. It will be like she's reliving them. My advice is; fix her her favorite foods. I know we've talked about nutritious meals and such, but it doesn't matter anymore. What Christine wants, give to her. Make her happy and comfortable. I've left the painkillers on the side table with instructions and administered a pain patch. Its on her back. If you have to touch it, wear gloves. Its very potent and will go through your skin into your blood stream. I will be back tonight and will stay on then. I would say by this evening; she will slip into a coma. Just take the time with her today. I would say, have the triplets come back while Christine is still lucid. I don't want them to witness the final moments and she has stated that she doesn't either." The nurse, Sarah explained.

"How much pain…will she be in?" Hannah asked.

"Hopefully the pain patch will help but…she is not going to be comfortable." Sarah told her.

"I just don't want her in pain…" Hannah said, and Mike put his arm around her. Hannah was not coping well at all.

"She won't be." Mike assured her as he pulled her in for a hug. Hilary escorted Sarah to the door and Mike rubbed Hannah's back.

"She's such a good person. Why her?" Hannah asked into his shoulder.

"I don't know, sweetie. I wish I did." Mike said.

"Dad, I think I'm gonna go in and sit with Momma for a bit." Hilary said quietly, and he nodded. Both girls needed privacy with their mother.

About ten, Christine woke up and asked for Mike's chocolate chip pancakes. He immediately fixed them and texted Andrea to send the triplets over. They seemed to understand what was happening and sat patiently while Christine ate.

"Now, I love the three of you so much. We've talked about this. You know what's going to happen. I'll be in heaven with your big brother and will be just fine. You will be with your daddy. He will take good care of you. I will be watching over you three, so you have to mind your daddy and Andrea. And you are to treat Andrea with respect. She will love you as much as I do. Already does. Clear?" Christine asked and the three of them nodded. Both Hannah and Hilary had left through her speech, but Mike stayed.

"We'll miss you, Momma. We love you." Maggie said, obviously speaking for the three of them.

"Don't dwell on this. You have your daddy, Andrea and all your brothers and sisters. I left you all a few things, but I want you to remember, be good to each other. Each other is all that you will ever have and that is all that will ever matter." Christine instructed.

"Can we give you hugs and kisses?" Katie asked.

"Absolutely but have your dad lift you down. Mike, it hurts to jostle." Christine told him, and Mike picked Katie up and then leaned her down to kiss Christine. He repeated the action with Maggie and then Tyler. He was thrilled that the three of them seemed to wait their turn and didn't argue. As he sit each of them down, he gave them a kiss of his own. "Now, go on back over. Daddy and your sisters will take good care of me, but I don't want you all to see this. This is goodbye for now. Just remember how much I love the three of you." Christine told them. Mike could see the tears in the three kid's eyes, but they seemed to just know. Each squeezed her hand and left the room. Mike sat down next to Christine and held her hand.

"That was hard." Mike admitted.

"It wasn't easy, but you understand why I don't want them to watch this? If I could figure out a way, Hannah and Hilary wouldn't either." Christine told him.

"I know. Anything you want?" Mike asked. Christine was sitting up in bed and seemed strong.

"That turkey you had smoked yesterday, is there any leftovers?" Christine asked.

"Yes, over at the main house; what do you want?" Mike asked. Christine had lifted her hand and was stroking the side of his face. Hilary had reappeared and was listening.

"Andrea had some of those Hawaiian bagels; if she wouldn't mind sparing one; some cream cheese, lettuce, turkey and cranberry sauce on one of those? And a root beer?" Christine asked.

"I'll go, Dad." Hilary said and then bent over and gave Christine a kiss.

"Maybe see if Andrea will come over and bring Luc…I mean, Christopher?" Christine asked. Mike and Hilary both noticed the slip but refused to acknowledge it. If Christopher could give Christine some comfort, so be it.

"Will do, Mama." Hilary promised and left. Mike leaned over and helped Christine sit up a bit better.

"I am really hoping to get to hold that sweet baby again. I hope you and Andrea don't mind?" Christine asked.

"I'm sure she won't. I don't mind it." Mike told her.

"He just reminds me so much of Lucas. I miss our baby boy, Mike." Christine said with tear-filled eyes.

"You'll see him. I miss him too, but you can give him a hug for me and a kiss." Mike told her. He had no other words.

"I will." Christine promised. They both sit quietly until Andrea walked in with Christopher. Hilary followed with a food tray. The bagel was cut up into smaller pieces for Christine and there was a large glass of root beer. Andrea or Hilary had also cut up some carrots and celery to go along with the food and Christine began eating it. Mike had gotten the feeling that she wanted to talk to Andrea alone and so he and Hilary excused themselves with the food tray once she was finished.

"Is there anything I can do?" Andrea asked.

"I'd really like to hold Christopher, if you don't mind?" Christine asked. Andrea handed the baby over but stayed close because Christine didn't have the strength to hold him. She could see the tears in Christine's eyes and knew she was remembering Lucas. It was something Andrea understood.

"No matter how happy I am, there is something always missing, Lily. I know you see Lucas when you look at Christopher and I tend to see Lily. It was worse with Lexi but sometimes when Christopher smiles, I see Lily." Andrea explained.

"She wasn't in pain. She was with Lucas. She died after, but I stayed until…they played recordings of Mike reading to Lucas and I think that helped Lily. A voice she recognized. She just kind of faded." Christine explained as she looked at the baby in her arms. Christopher was looking at her closely and she stroked his cheek.

"Thank you. I'm glad she died…like that. I needed to hear that. I hope Bill…didn't suffer." Andrea said from her chair.

"Not for long. He was already…in rough shape when I got there, and I wasn't close…but the nurse said he went fast. Sometimes, the heart gave out before the flu ran its course and that's what happened to Bill." Christine explained.

"I guess…that's better then suffering. Can I see your hands?" Andrea asked. Mike and she had talked about switching the wedding ring to Christine's left hand after she died. Andrea decided to do it while Christine was still alive. Christine laid Christopher on her knees with Andrea's help; and then watched Andrea.

"What are you doing?" Christine asked. She was losing strength fast. Andrea took her own rings off her left ring finger and put them on her right hand; and then picked up Christine's right hand and gently took her rings off and put them on her left hand. Christine gasped and smiled through tears.

"Rings are a symbol. When Mike put these on your hand all those years ago, he pledged his love to you. That has not changed. He still loves you every bit as much as he did the day, he put these on your finger. Probably more so, because we all know love grows. I know there was some discussion of doing this after you died, and I am not sure that I am the appropriate person to do this but here we are. I don't know how much longer you have but until and after; consider yourself still married to Mike. It won't change anything between him and I so don't worry. You were always a good friend to me, like a sister and I always loved you like that. I promise to take care of the kids and love them like you would. Not as well as you but as much. And I will look after Mike too." Andrea told her. They were both crying, and Christopher was watching both of them closely.

"You are a special woman. Thank you. I love you too and always have." Christine told her weakly. Mike had come to the door with tears in his eyes. He had been in the hallway the entire time.

"That's my cue. Do you want me to leave Christopher here?" Andrea asked.

"For now, if you don't mind? I want to hold him a bit longer." Christine asked, and Andrea nodded. She stood up and gave Mike a hug before leaving.

"The girls are close if you want them?" Mike asked.

"Soon. I want a moment with you. I'm just getting so tired." Christine said as she rubbed Christopher's belly. He was watching her and smiled at her.

"Alright, care if I crawl up here?" Mike asked. He knew Christine wouldn't ask him to sit down next to her on the bed.

"No, please do." Christine agreed and then patted the bed. Mike settled next to her and pulled her close enough that she was laying on his chest. "Oh, sweet boy. Have you got smiles for Daddy, Lucas?" Christine asked, apparently lapsing into a hallucination. For only being a few weeks old, Christopher knew something was wrong and gave Mike what Mike interpreted as a confused look. Mike just didn't have the heart to tell Christine that it was Christopher, not Lucas; on her lap.

"Do you want me to get the girls?" Mike asked.

"I guess you'd better." Christine told him but before he could get out of bed to get them; Christine pulled him close and landed a kiss on his lips. Normally, he would have fought it but knowing the situation; he just let her be, even kissed her back. It was as far as it would go, and Andrea understood. Finally, she pulled away but had a happy look on her face. "You were always good at that." Christine said.

"Kissing?" Mike asked as he stood up.

"Yeah. Always good. Mike, before you go…I love you. Please…take care of the kids?" Christine asked.

"You know I will, and I love you too. Just hang on a second, for the girls. Hannah, Hilary, get in here now!" Mike yelled, knowing Christine was not going according to Sarah's narration. Both girls ran in and climbed up next to Christine. Mike got on her other side and lifted Christopher off her lap but kept him to where Christine could see him.

"I love you both so much. You are both such good girls. Hannah, lean on your daddy. I know you think you need to leave and all but no one alive will love you as much as your daddy does. You need that. I was the one that kept you away. This is how I wanted it. I didn't want long and sad goodbyes. In that trunk…there's things, your dad and Andrea will help distribute them when the time is right. I've already spoke to Andrea about it at length…Hilary, oh; sweet girl; you have given up so much for me. I know you think you need to leave here but make this your home. I know your dad will always welcome you and the triplets need to know you're still…available. Hilary and Hannah know where there's other items…they'll help. I love you girls so much…remind the triplets how much I loved them and remember that Andrea will love you as much as I do. Treat her well…" Christine stopped talking and Mike thought she had died but her eyes popped again; "Mike,…I…love you…" Christine said, obviously struggling. Mike handed the baby to Hilary and took Christine's hand in his own. Hannah had her other hand and Hilary was using her free hand to rub Christine's arm.

"I love you, sweetheart. It's okay…just let go. I will take care of the kids. Hug and kiss my boy for me." Mike told her and then nodded at the girls.

"Mama, it's okay; just let go. I promise to stay close. I love you." Hilary said as she bent down and kissed Christine's forehead.

"Hannah?" Mike encouraged. He knew she was struggling and didn't want to tell Christine to go but Christine had to hear it.

"I…don't want to but it's okay, Mama. I love you. I won't leave, I promise." Hannah told her and kissed her hand.

Christine passed away less then five minutes later. It was gentle. One minute, she was breathing and the next she wasn't. Mike was more emotional then he thought possible. Hilary and Hannah had gone into the living area and Sarah had shown up before the funeral home arrived. With her help, Mike bathed Christine. The funeral home attendant motioned like he would pull Christine onto to stretcher but that was not what Mike wanted.

"No, I'll do it." Mike said as he gently picked Christine up and laid her on the stretcher and the put the sheet over her. The funeral home was using the back entrance so not to traumatize the younger kids and Mike helped them out. Christine had set everything up, but Mike would make final arrangements later that evening or the next day.

"Do you need help with the triplets?" Sarah asked.

"I can handle it." Mike said.

"Kids that age…they need normalcy. You will think this isn't phasing them, but it will. Just go with it." Sarah instructed.

"Alright, I am going to go next door. I'll take the girls and Christopher with me. Do you need anything before I go?" Mike asked.

"No, I am right behind you." Sarah assured him. She had already gathered up Christine's meds and other items. Hilary was still holding Christopher and Hannah was sitting on the couch.

"Come on, girls. You aren't staying here tonight." Mike told them and they both got up and followed him. He was dreading telling the triplets but when he walked into his own house; the look Katie gave him told him; they knew. Mike sat down in the living room and started; "Guys, your momma went to heaven a little bit ago. She wanted you to know she loved you very much." Mike started and then decided the triplets wouldn't understand anything elaborate. All the kids looked sad but went on playing.

"She isn't in pain anymore and she is with Lucas. Its okay." Katie said simply. Leave it to a seven-year-old to just put everything in a nutshell.


	18. Chapter 18

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 18

The kid's emotions came in waves. The triplets cried when Hannah or Hilary cried but otherwise seemed alright. Mike had read books to understand the grieving process, but he wasn't prepared for it because he hadn't taken into consideration; he would also be grieving. He threw himself into concentrating on the kids, but the grief was not far from the surface. Raw and painful. Sharp but like a dull roar. When the funeral director asked him what his relationship was to Christine, he didn't have an answer. Hannah and Hilary didn't want to come along to make sure things were okay at the funeral home, so Andrea and Tom had gone along with Mike. He wasn't sure why Tom had invited himself along, but it did help to have a third adult.

"She is…was my first wife." Mike answered the funeral director. It was another thing he was having issues with, referring to Christine in the past tense and saying her name.

"On the form she filled out; she used her maiden name, but you wrote her married name. Which do you prefer?" The funeral director asked.

"Use her married name." Andrea answered.

"And you are?" The funeral director asked.

"The second wife, Andrea Slattery." Andrea answered.

"Ah…so, you and…Christine…you weren't married?" The funeral director asked; clearly addressing Mike.

"Sir, Christine was Mike's first wife. He was on the Nathan James and was separated during the Red Flu. After several years of searching, he was forced to have her, and their daughters declared deceased. When Christine and the girls surfaced, she discovered that and began using her maiden name. Mike remarried but…anyway, they aren't necessarily divorced, and Hilary Slattery has asked that her father make the final decisions. She is the only other relative that is of age." Tom intervened.

"Yes, I'm sorry. So…Christine had everything pretty well set up. She opted for a simple white casket. She wanted a graveside service, and nothing elaborate. She spoke with the pastor and had two scriptures picked out to be read. She wanted it to be short and sweet. You can choose someone to do a eulogy, if you'd like. She also asked that the song, "Amazing Grace" be sung. She had picked out the headstone and asked that her son; Lucas's name be put on as well as her own. Really, the only pressing decision was her casket piece. She would never tell us what she preferred. Did she have a favorite flower? We have a florist we work with and can take care of ordering for you." The funeral director asked.

"She…loved lavender and tulips. That is what her bouquet was when we got married and those were what I always got her when I screwed up. I don't know why I remember that, but I do." Mike told them.

"Probably because of how you often you screwed up." Tom teased. Mike knew and understood he was picking on him to add some levity.

"Probably." Mike answered simply.

"Alright, that's settled. They will work something up. Now, pallbearers? Anyone in mind?" The funeral director asked.

"I…don't know. I didn't think about it. I guess I could." Mike stated.

"No, you need to stay with the kids, Mike. I'll take care of it and get you the names." Tom told the funeral director.

"Alright; we have Christine ready and, in the casket, if you would like to see her? Make sure all is fine before your kids see her. She did ask for a closed casket funeral." The funeral director asked.

"Its not fine and will never be because she's in that casket." Mike argued. He was tired of the funeral director treating Christine like she was an object, not a person with a history.

"Right." The funeral director said as he stood up and led them into a chapel. Tom stayed in the back with the funeral director and Mike could hear him lecturing him, but he and Andrea walked towards the casket. For Mike, it was incredibly surreal. He was transported back in time, to when Christine had walked towards him in another chapel, on the day they got married. She was young and healthy. Full of life. She only had three dreams in her life; she wanted to be the best wife and mom possible and then to deliver as many babies as possible. The funeral director had come up beside him and Andrea was critiquing everything while Mike was trapped in his memories.

"This pin, its crocked. And her hands…it seems odd that she isn't holding something." Andrea complained.

"Her Bible. She needs her Bible. I will ask the kids if they wanted it, but I think she needs her Bible." Mike stated. Tom had shown up at his elbow and seemed to be holding him up.

"If the kids are alright with it, I will drop it by." Tom volunteered.

"Aside from the pin and her hands; is everything alright…er…acceptable?" The funeral director asked, correcting himself.

"I will be sending another ring; my wedding band from her. I will also get her another bouquet of flowers that can be laid over the Bible; I want the ring in that somehow. I will try and do it myself, attach it to the ribbon or something." Mike answered before walking away. Andrea and Tom followed him out and got in the truck.

"Mike, one of the kids might want the Bible or ring." Andrea pointed out.

"I doubt it." Mike answered. The rest of the drive was made in silence and Tom walked in with them to get the Bible. Hilary and Hannah were in the backyard with the younger kids. Mike walked out and sat down with the two older girls.

"I need your mom's Bible. I think she needs buried with it." Mike ordered. Hilary nodded but Hannah had tensed up.

"I kind of wanted it." Hannah answered.

"Why?" Mike asked. Andrea sensed an all-out argument about to take place and steered them into the house, so the kids didn't witness it. Tom stayed outside with the younger kids and Hilary and Andrea would have to referee. Mike and Hannah's arguments were frequently brutal.

"Why do you think you have a right to demand it? You weren't married to her anymore." Hannah answered.

"Hannah." Andrea said with a look.

"You and Hilary wanted no part in planning the funeral and fortunately your mom had already done most of it but there were a few details. She needs something in her hands and the Bible is something she'd want." Mike answered.

"How do you know what she would want? You haven't been around the last, almost eight years. You have no idea how hard it was for her." Hannah stated. She and Mike were standing in the dining room with the table separating them. Andrea was actually glad something was between them because she was a little worried that the argument might get physical.

"Not by my choice." Mike answered.

"Oh, for God's sake, Dad. You were a homicide detective for how long? You could have found us if you really wanted to. Your Navy was more important and then when we did show up; you couldn't look bad. You played the part of the loving husband and father long enough, but we all know; you want no part in that role with us kids. Hilary will leave for the Navy and I will go to college and that will be it. We'll be lucky if you even let us see the triplets." Hannah accused. She had edged her way around the table and Andrea was trying to get between them. She knew that Mike would never physically attack his own daughter, but Hannah had an explosive temper that rivaled Mike's.

"Alright, you both need to take a breath. You are both emotional and Christine would not have wanted to have you arguing like this." Andrea reminded them both. Mike gave her a slight nod, indicating he wanted the argument to end but Hannah was not hearing it.

"Shut up! You aren't anything to me…" Hannah yelled, clearly addressing Andrea. It was a good thing that Andrea was between them because she ended up holding Mike away from Hannah.

"You will not talk to her like that…" Mike yelled. Andrea wasn't sure what she was holding Mike back from doing and Hannah was also pushing at Andrea.

"Okay, you know what…have at it. Maybe the two of you need to do this. Just remember, Mike; at the end of the day, Hannah is still your daughter and you do love her. Hannah, remember that you will still need your dad. No one on this Earth loves you as much as he does. Now, I am stepping away. Do what you want, just clean up the blood after. I am not going to stand between you anymore but also remember; you have the triplets to think about. They are innocent." Andrea said before walking out of the house. She didn't know what was going to happen. She walked to the patio table where Hilary and Tom were sitting and took Christopher.

"I understand both points, but I do think Dad is right on this one. Besides, Mama had two Bibles. She wrote in both of them. Hannah could have the one she used a lot and the other one can go with Mama. Maybe I should go in and tell them that?" Hilary suggested.

"You could but this isn't so much about a Bible. Its about everything else and unfortunately; it does need to be discussed. Their timing is bad, and I hope they don't really hurt one another." Andrea remarked. None of them knew what to do.

Inside the house; Mike was at a stalemate. He had put the table between him and Hannah. He would never hurt her, but he couldn't account for what Hannah would do. She had his temper, only amplified.

"Look, Hannah; we don't have to put the Bible with her. It is not worth destroying our relationship over. Andrea is right, your mom wouldn't want us fighting like this." Mike finally said.

"What if…what if I want to destroy it?" Hannah asked. Mike was already emotional, and it tipped him over the edge. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was looking at her feet. Mike walked around the table and stood in front of Hannah. He tipped her chin up and studied her for a moment.

"Hannah, what is going on?" Mike asked.

"I…if she hadn't gone to my graduation; maybe she would have had longer. Its my fault." Hannah said simply as she sat down in one of the chairs. Mike sat down next to her and thought for a moment.

"Honey, this isn't your fault. Your mom wanted to be at your graduation. I offered to record it, but she refused. That is not your fault. Can I ask why you would want to destroy our relationship?" Mike asked.

"Don't you?" Hannah questioned.

"No. Why would I?" Mike responded. He was confused but at least they weren't fighting.

"You…obviously still love Mama. I caused this and I guess I thought it would be better if I messed things up so much that you wouldn't have anything to do with me." Hannah told him while trying to control her breathing. He could tell the crying was causing her throat to hurt. He also knew, she hadn't slept well the night before.

"Better then me hurting you, huh?" Mike asked.

"Yeah." Hannah answered.

"Let's go in the living room. I know your neck is hurting." Mike said as he stood up and guided Hannah into the living room. He sat down on the couch and pulled Hannah onto his chest. He had every plan on her going to sleep. "Sweetie, I don't blame you for your mom dying. She had cancer. She was going to die. She just got to do everything she wanted. She wanted to deliver Christopher and got to, then she wanted to go to the beach. We did that, and it was a great day. She wanted to see you graduate and she got to. Hannah, you can't do this to yourself. Look at it that she didn't suffer. Your mom, she taught all of us how to be a better person and she had a beautiful death, if you can have a beautiful death." Mike said as he ran his hand through Hannah's hair. He was rocking her gently and knew she would be asleep in no time. He had concentrated so hard on the triplets that he was forgetting that Hannah and Hilary were hurting, even more so.

"I…guess I just thought…everyone was so mad at me." Hannah said between sobs. Mike had somehow maneuvered them into a laying position and was gently rubbing Hannah's neck.

"No, sweetie. So, you thought that if you more or less picked a fight with me; I would throw you out and you wouldn't have to face me blaming you?" Mike asked.

"Yeah and I know its stupid. I just knew it would hurt even more. It was mean of me and…" Hannah said as she looked up at him. He could see the exhaustion in her eyes. She had been going to school, caring for Christine during the night and then losing her had thrown Hannah for a loop.

"Let's just let it go, okay? What I want is for you to get some sleep. I'll stay right here." Mike promised, and Hannah settled back down.

"I didn't sleep at all last night. I knew Mama was gone but I kept listening for her like I would do when Hilary was working. It was weird." Hannah commented. Mike had pulled a throw blanket over her and then began rubbing her back.

"I didn't realize you weren't sleeping. I didn't sleep good last night either." Mike admitted. Hannah was starting to nod off and Mike kissed the top of her head. Andrea came in with Christopher and smiled when she saw them.

"He needed a diaper change. I have to say, I was not anticipating seeing this." Andrea said as she bent down and fixed the blanket.

"She's exhausted. I should have realized." Mike commented.

"I was really worried about the two of you." Andrea said as she rubbed Mike's shoulder with her free hand.

"I could tell. She's blaming herself." Mike remarked.

"For Christine dying so soon? Poor girl. Well, you have a lot of stuff to do but you just stay right here. Hannah needs this. I think Hilary and I are going to go the flowers you suggested and put the bouquet together. We will put the ring on the ribbon. Hilary came up with a second Bible that Christine frequently used. We'll give Hannah a choice between the two and the other can be buried with Christine, along with the flowers and ring. The triplets also want to put a few things in the casket. I'm going to get him to sleep and Dana will look out for him while Hilary and I go. We are taking the younger kids with us, except for Charlie, of course." Andrea explained, and Mike nodded.

"Sounds good. Dana doesn't mind?" Mike asked.

"No. She just wants to help, and I told her you'd be around if she needed anything." Andrea said as she straightened back up. Christopher was starting to really fuss.

"Alright. Yeah, I'll help her." Mike said while stifling a yawn. Andrea just smiled at him and headed upstairs. Mike must have dozed off because the next time that he woke up, Dana and Charlie were sitting on the floor working on something on the coffee table and Christopher was in his bouncy seat, asleep. Hannah was still sound asleep in his arms and he smiled at Dana. This was the first time she had stayed at home with only him there as the adult. Granted, Hannah, Charlie and Christopher were also there but he would take it as a step forward.

"Mom, Hilary and the kids left about an hour ago. Mom said she would get a couple pizzas while she was out." Dana told him.

"Sounds good. Is he behaving?" Mike asked as he pointed at Charlie.

"Yeah, its Charlie so he's behaving." Dana said with a smile. Charlie never stepped out of line.

"I figured." Mike answered and then concentrated again on Hannah. She had her head on his shoulder and was laying on her side. He smoothed her hair back and kissed her on the forehead again. She was making small snoring noises, the same noises she had made since she was a baby. It sent him down memory lane, to the time that he and Christine spent alone with Hannah after she was born.

 _"I have never heard a baby snoring like that. Its kind of cute." Mike said as he relaxed back in his recliner with Hannah on his bare chest. Christine had insisted on him having skin-to-skin contact with the baby and she was relaxing on the couch. Hilary was at his parents, being spoiled rotten._

 _"I checked her nose. It's clear. Something she just does, and I agree, its adorable." Christine explained._

 _"I just thought the skin to skin contact was for the mom and baby." Mike commented._

 _"Its important for dad and baby too. The doctors should encourage it more and Hannah is quite happy there. She loves sleeping on her daddy's chest." Christine argued._

 _"I just don't understand the not wearing a shirt." Mike said._

 _"She's heard my heart throughout the pregnancy and then immediately after the delivery. I nurse her, and she hears it. Its comforting for her and it is important that she knows that your touch is as comforting. Too many kids are afraid to go to their father for comfort. That is not happening with our kids. I won't always be there to give it." Christine insisted._

It was kind of prophetic for Christine to have said that. Maybe she had known. In any case, he needed to do better as a comforter to all his kids. They needed that now. He had to put his own emotions, grief and anger aside to make sure they had it.


	19. Chapter 19

**To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 19

The triplets didn't understand the funeral at all. Mike had allowed for them to see Christine in the casket, but they still didn't understand the finality of it all. Both older girls had spent some quiet moments in the chapel, and Mike had sat with each of the triplets to give them the time they needed to process. They still had a little while before they had to go to the gravesite and Mike figured it would be spent going over the last of the details until Hilary told him differently.

"Dad, we know you're having a rough time. We thought you needed to spend some time with Mama." Hilary told him quietly and Andrea nodded in agreement.

"Mike, you need some alone time with her. You need a private goodbye." Andrea told him as she caressed his cheek. Hannah was sitting with the triplets in the seating area, but she nodded at him. Apparently, his family had been conspiring against him.

"Alright." Mike agreed and then stepped into the chapel. He hadn't been in the room alone yet and it took his breath away. He walked to the casket and smiled at the various items that the kids had put in the there. School pictures and a rock that Tyler had insisted on Christine needing. There was also a Bible, one that Mike had gotten for Christine on their fifth wedding anniversary when that was all he could afford. Her other one, the one Hannah wanted was worn out and Mike had decided to buy her a new one. There was also a flower bouquet that Andrea and Hilary had made. His wedding ring was strung on the ribbon. Christine's wedding band and engagement ring was on her left ring finger where Andrea had placed it before she died. Christine was wearing a macaroni necklace that Lucas had made her and a pin that Mike's mother had given her. Mike straightened the pin and leaned over.

 _"You know, I never thought it would be me having to do this. I figured it would be reversed. You making sure my uniform was just right. This, I never prepared for. I prepared for me going first. Having you and the kids cared for. You knew what I wanted. A simple service, cremation and then having my ashes spread in the middle of the ocean by any one of my Navy friends. We never even discussed what you wanted. I can make you all kinds of promises now, but none of them would really matter. I just want you to know; I couldn't have asked for a better wife or mother to my kids. You, in a lot of ways, led me to Andrea. You and I had a lot of good times. I never one time doubted your love for me, even though I am sure you doubted mine. Just know, I never stopped loving you and never will."_

Mike whispered the entire speech and was shocked at the tears rolling down his face. He was not given to crying; even when Lucas died, he hadn't cried. Not until after being stabbed in Sardinia. After that, he spent many nights in his cabin, choking back sobs. Now, the tears just seemed normal. Everyone else was crying, he might as well just join them.

"I don't think I've ever seen you do that before." Hannah said as she walked up. He hadn't heard her come in and she walked to his side and rubbed his back.

"Yeah, just hit me." Mike said as he smiled through the tears at Hannah. She had put the pin back the way it had been before Mike had fixed it.

"None of us wanted to bother you but the Pastor asked to speak with you. Wanted to know about you doing a eulogy and its almost time to go." Hannah told him.

"Alright." Mike said. He started to walk away but backtracked and bent back over the casket and gave Christine a kiss on the forehead. The casket would be sealed in just a moment and they would never see her again, at least while they were alive.

"I hope someday, to find someone that loves me the way that you love her." Hannah commented.

"Yeah, I hope you find that too. In about thirty years." Mike teased as he put an arm around Hannah and they walked away from the casket. They both looked back but didn't focus on the casket; instead, focusing on a wedding picture of Mike and Christine.

"How about ten or fifteen?" Hannah joked.

"Depends on the guy. I will never think he's good enough." Mike told her. They had walked out into the main room in the funeral home and Hannah pulled him towards the Pastor.

"Why am I not shocked. Dad, we don't expect you to give a eulogy. If you can't, we understand." Hannah said as she moved in front of him before getting to the pastor. She had both hands on his shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

"I need to do this, honey. I'll be alright." Mike said as he kissed her cheek.

"If you're sure. I love you, Daddy." Hannah said.

"I love you too, sweetie. More then you could ever imagine." Mike told her before pulling away to speak with the pastor. They talked about what he was going to talk about and what Mike would talk about.

Tom had arranged for the pallbearers. Himself, Russ, Wolf, Green, Dias and Cameron Burke. Mike was shocked that they had agreed since they didn't know Christine, but all six men seemed to be honored. Tom and Russ were the only two who knew her.

The trek to the gravesite was long. The triplets were fussy and getting hungry. Mike was worried if they would cope with everything, but Andrea had granola bars in her purse that settled them down. They arrived and walked to the gravesite. Mike sat between Hannah and Hilary, while the triplets had gathered around Andrea. Hannah and Hilary both were good singers and led everyone in the song that Christine had picked out, "Amazing Grace." The pastor spoke and led everyone in the reading of the Lord's Prayer. Finally, it was time for Mike to speak.

"Christine and I met when she was a student nurse. I was a rookie cop who got in the middle of two drunk women fighting. Ended up with a beer bottle to my cheek, causing this scar. Of course, as soon as I seen Christine, I forgot about the cut and the resulting stitches. I went back to the hospital after my shift and took her out for breakfast after her shift. We started dating. Only dated for about six months before I asked her to marry me and we went to the city hall a month or so later. We moved into a little house and in less then a year, we had Hilary. Christine had graduated Nursing School and enrolled in training to be a nurse practitioner. I joined the Navy and we had Hannah. She got through her training but wanted to become a doctor. Filled out her application for Harvard and then discouraged herself. She threw the application in the kitchen garbage and I fished it out later that night without her knowing. I sent it off and she was accepted, despite the coffee stains on the application. I was going to leave the Navy and had applied to the Boston PD and a few neighboring departments, but she was pregnant with Lucas. It wasn't the right time and she had this dream of me wearing the Admiral's Stars. So, she didn't go to medical school, finished her training to be a midwife and had Lucas. That was the type of mom and wife she was. She wanted us to succeed more then she wanted success for herself. And even later, she wanted Hannah and Hilary to succeed so badly, that she jeopardized everything. All Christine ever wanted was to be a mom, wife and midwife. She was completely devoted to her kids, me, Andrea and our other kids. She left a mark that will stay for a very long time, with her kindness and faith. Her love. If Christine loved you, you were a lucky person; and there were few people she didn't love. I never heard her say a bad word about anyone, even me when I was deserving. Didn't judge. Just accepted. We could have all taken lessons from her and now that she's gone, this world is a little darker. My hope now, she is with the son we both missed so much." Mike made his speech and then went back to chairs.

Katie and Maggie both jumped onto his lap and Tyler was sitting on Hilary's. Even though it was hot, it felt good to have them so close. The hard part was watching the casket being lowered into the ground. They all put dirt in the grave. The older girls were having a bit of a harder time and Andrea took the triplets back to the SUV. Mike hugged both girls until they were ready to leave.

Andrea had food catered in. The only one of the older adopted kids that wanted to go the funeral was Dana, but she had opted to stay home and help Sarah with the kids and to help the caterers. A few of Hilary's coworkers and Hannah's friends had stopped in and the girls entertained them in the backyard. Mike had completed Katie and Maggie's dollhouse the night before and they were playing with it, along with Lexi. Mike had finally sat down with Christopher in his arms. The baby boy was completely innocent and only seemed to want his daddy's cuddles. Mike was a little surprised when Dana sat down next to him on the couch.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, I just wanted to check on you. You've seemed really sad." Dana commented.

"Thank you. I am sad, but I'll be alright. You okay? You and Christine had gotten close." Mike asked.

"Yeah. She was just a really nice person." Dana remarked. Mike decided to take a chance and put his free arm around Dana's shoulders. Normally, she would have immediately tensed up but instead, she leaned into his side. Mike was completely shocked.

"This is new." Mike stated.

"She told me that you would absolutely never hurt me, and I've watched you with Hannah and Hilary. They trust you. You've never given me a reason not to trust you." Dana explained. Mike suspected that he would be getting unexpected gifts for a long time. Dana, being one.

"I promise; you will never have to worry about me. I love you, sweetie." Mike said.

"I love you too." Dana told him, and Mike kissed her forehead. When he looked down at Christopher, the baby boy had a huge smile on his face. It was probably the biggest smile he had ever seen from Christopher.

"Look at that. Big smile." Mike said gesturing at the baby.

"That is a big smile. Mom said his personality is starting to come through. I just think he's adorable." Dana said, and Mike passed her the baby. She really loved Christopher a lot.

"I think so. Thanks, sweetie." Mike told her as he got up. She was making funny faces at the baby and he walked into the kitchen. The boys were playing, and the other kids were otherwise occupied. Mike wrapped his arms around Andrea and kissed the back of her neck. "I think we are going to be just fine." Mike told her.

"I never doubted it." Andrea stated.


	20. Chapter 20

I went completely AU with this, in that I didn't want the James to sink at the end of Season 5, so She is still around, sailing the world, with another Slattery on board.

 **To Have and To Hold**

Chapter 20-Two and a half years later

Hannah was home from college for Christmas. The last Mike had known, Hilary was in the Med, on the James. She had become a corpsmen and Mike received emails and calls from her, but he missed her desperately. It had been over a year since he had seen her and had even considered throwing some weight around to get her home, but one of the things he had promised himself was that he wouldn't stand in the way of her career. She would make it on her own.

Hannah loved college and was in in a program to build 'tiny houses' for homeless veterans. It was something she was passionate about and Mike had even been able to help her some.

The triplets were doing extremely well. They were now nine and had fully adjusted to living with Mike and Andrea. They still missed their mom and that would never go away but they did well.

Mike and Andrea's other kids had done extremely well. Dana had become more outgoing and had even had a boy over for dinner and Mike and Andrea had chaperoned them to a movie. Allie, Charlie and Paul were doing well. Lexi was now five and in kindergarten and Christopher was two and a half. He was spoiled rotten and very well loved.

As happy as Mike was, he still missed Christine every day. He had read his notebook from her and frequently read back over the notes. She had written about the kids, Lucas' last moments, different memories, and stories. In Andrea's, she had written down favorite recipes and the kid's little quirks. Quirks that only a mother understood. She had also left instructions for when the kid's got married and had their first babies. Things that she wanted Andrea to do. Andrea had learned how to crochet so that she could crochet Christine's grandbabies aphgans since Christine wouldn't be able to. Before she had died, she had sat down with Andrea and gone through her jewelry; things she wanted the girls to wear on their wedding days and things for Tyler's bride. When Mike and Andrea received the quilt that Christine and Hannah had so carefully pieced together; they had initially hung it on the wall in their bedroom. One day, Andrea decided to redecorate their bedroom and put the quilt on their bed. It just seemed right and she had told Mike that she felt Christine when she looked at it.

Mike walked back into the house and saw the stockings on the fireplace. Hilary's was there, and Mike and Andrea had presents for her in hopes that she would show up but if not, they would send them to her. It was a visual reminder of not having Hilary there and it hurt. He was getting a taste of what Christine and the kids had gone through all those holidays and special days that he had missed, and he didn't like it at all. Andrea was working in the kitchen and he walked up behind her and kissed the back of her head.

"Where'd Hannah go?" Mike asked.

"No idea. She just told me she had an errand. Figured it was some last-minute Christmas shopping. You okay?" Andrea asked as she turned around and kissed him.

"Just really missing Hilary. I know this is the third Christmas she hasn't been home for, but I haven't had a Christmas with her since before the Red Flu. It would be the best Christmas ever to just have her home. I keep thinking that she is not coming home for some reason." Mike said.

"Mike, I talked to her a couple days ago, and she just can't free up the time. It isn't anything like what you're thinking. She misses you too." Andrea assured him.

"I know. I just keep thinking, she wanted to give me distance, so I could bond with the triplets. Maybe that is what this is." Mike said quietly.

"I promise that is not why she has stayed away, and she really misses you and them." Andrea told him and then gave him a kiss.

"This sucks. I really hate it." Mike stated.

"I know you do, and I hate it for you. At least Hannah is home?" Andrea offered.

"Yeah but I still really miss Hilary." Mike told her.

"Maybe she'll call home and you can talk to her? Mike, you understand being away from us is hard on her too. How many times were you away for Christmas or any holidays? Birthdays? Before the Red Flu?" Andrea asked.

"I missed three Christmas's, two Thanksgiving's and countless birthdays and anniversaries. I wouldn't even want to begin to guess how many recitals and such that I also missed." Mike admitted.

"Me too. My point is; it is really hard on Hilary too. Remember how lonely those days were? You knew something was going on at home. You might get a call home if you were lucky. When you got home, Christine and the kids would probably talk about things that you weren't there for and it hurt. I get it." Andrea told him.

"Is this your way of telling me to buck up? Be more supportive of Hilary?" Mike asked.

"Yes. Mike, I get that it hurts, and you miss your girl. You want to see for yourself that she's okay because you know by now, she's seen some stuff that you prefer she didn't. Remember how important it was that you knew that your family was carrying on without you? Hilary needs that too. Now, stop the pity party and lift this turkey for me. I'll open the fridge door." Andrea instructed.

"Yes, ma'am. I love you." Mike said as he gave her a kiss before picking up the turkey that she had stuffed and marinated.

"I love you too." Andrea said as she opened the fridge for him.

"Did Hannah give you an indication how long she'd be?" Mike asked.

"Nope, not at all." Andrea answered.

"These girls are making me age too fast." Mike told her.

"I still loved your reaction to Hannah's boyfriend." Andrea said.

"The bull ring in his nose got me. And he needed to step a bit closer to the razor." Mike complained.

"I think she brought him home just to pick on you. They did break up after." Andrea remarked.

"Hence, the aging." Mike answered.

"And you have several daughters." Andrea teased.

"Don't I know it." Mike responded. He heard Hannah pull in, but Christopher had run up, so Mike got distracted. He had bent over to help Christopher adjust his pants and looked up when Andrea gasped. He looked at her and she pointed towards Hannah, who happened to have Hilary with her.

"Surprise!" Hannah said enthuastically. Mike immediately stood up, completely forgetting about Christopher's wardrobe malfunction. Hilary was standing next to Hilary in her uniform. She looked older and more mature then the last time Mike had seen her, at her boot camp graduation. He walked around Christopher and pulled Hilary into a hug.

"Oh, my baby. I've missed you so much." Mike said quietly. He had hot tears rolling down his cheeks and was probably squeezing Hilary too hard.

"Daddy, I need help!" Christopher said. Mike was too consumed, and Hannah bent down to help him. "Who is that?" Christopher asked, obviously not remembering his oldest sister and too young to understand the pictures of her.

"Christopher, remember me and Mommy talking about your biggest sister? Hilary? You were a baby when she left. This is Hilary." Mike explained as he pulled away. Lexi might also not remember Hilary, but Mike would cross that bridge when he come to it; he was too thrilled to worry about it at the moment.

"Hey, Christopher. I hope its okay that I come back for Christmas?" Hilary asked as she knelt down next to the little boy.

"Did you bring presents? You got clothes like Daddy does but you're a girl." Christopher asked.

"Christopher, we don't ask people if they brought presents or comment on people's uniforms." Andrea scolded the little boy as she came in the living room.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry! But why are you dressed like Daddy? You don't have any stars like he does." Christopher commented. Mike was trying not to laugh, and Andrea was embarrassed.

"Its because I am in the Navy like him and I don't have stars because I'm not the same rank as him. He is a lot higher in rank then me." Hilary explained.

"Oh. What are you then? And couldn't they find a better uniform for girls?" Christopher asked; obviously curious about Hilary's BDU's.

"My dress uniform looks different then his. And I am a Chief Petty Officer. He's an officer and I'm enlisted. Technically I should have saluted him, but he hugged me too quick." Hilary explained.

"So, is Daddy your boss?" Christopher asked.

"If he gave me an order, I would have to follow it." Hilary explained.

"Oh." Christopher said, obviously losing interest already.

"Christopher, why don't you go upstairs and play? Give Daddy and I a chance to visit with your sister?" Andrea asked the little boy who immediately complied.

"Dad, I knew you had been missing Hilary and we have been working on her coming for a visit for three months. It wasn't a for sure thing, so she and I kept it quiet. Not even Andrea knew." Hannah explained as Hilary and Andrea hugged.

"I was due leave. Uncle Tom knew too. I think he pulled some strings to get me home before Christmas, but I don't know." Hilary told them.

"How long are you home for?" Mike asked.

"January 15th. Then I fly back to Rota to hook up with the James. They are in port there now for some repairs." Hilary explained as she took her jacket off.

"Do you have bags?" Mike asked.

"Out in Hannah's car. And yes, I have presents too. I can't believe how big Christopher is." Hilary answered.

"Your dad will get everything. Hungry, those long flights are horrible." Andrea asked, and Mike and Hannah headed outside to get Hilary's bag out of Hannah's car.

"Sorry I didn't tell you, Dad. If she didn't make it, I didn't want you to be disappointed. I didn't know until she texted me this morning that she was catching a flight from New York." Hannah apologized as Mike pulled the suitcase out and Hannah grabbed another bag, apparently filled with gifts.

"Its okay, sweetie. I'm just thrilled she's home. I was really missing her. Not that I don't miss you when you're gone." Mike told her.

"I live an hour away. I come home on weekends at least once a month. It isn't quite the same." Hannah argued.

"I still miss you though." Mike said.

"I know." Hannah said with a smile.

"I was worried that the lack of visiting was to do with you both thinking I needed the distance to bond with the triplets." Mike remarked as they walked up the drive.

"Not where I am concerned. Hilary, yes; to a point. After Momma died, she knew the triplets needed the time with you and was determined not to come home until I thought they had bonded with you. Then she got busy and couldn't get leave." Hannah explained.

"Well, I am just glad to have her home, finally." Mike told her as they walked in the door. Andrea was fixing Hilary a sandwich and fussing over her. It reminded Mike of what Christine would be doing. She would be concerned if Hilary was hungry or thirsty after a long flight.

"How long were you up in the air?" Andrea asked as she added salt to the sandwich like Hilary liked.

"Four hours between Rota and London, five-hour layover, eight-hour flight to New York, three-hour layover and then another four hours from there to here. I am jetlagged for sure, but I bet you all have plans?" Hilary said as Andrea handed her the plate of food. Andrea had a sandwich, chips, fruit and vegetables on the plate. It looked delicious. Mike poured himself and Hilary a glass a sweet tea and sat down at the kitchen island with her.

"Nope. You need a nap." Andrea told her.

"I wouldn't argue with that. I am tired." Hilary told her.

"You eat up and visit with your dad. I will take your suitcase upstairs and get your room aired out. Unless you wanted to stay in the guesthouse?" Andrea asked. Neither of the older girls had ever stayed in the guesthouse, preferring to being close to the family after Christine died.

"No, I would rather be here." Hilary told her.

"Do you need me to get the bag?" Mike asked Andrea.

"I got it." Andrea said before she and Hannah headed up the stairs with the bags.

"I am so glad that you're home. I have really missed you. How are things?" Mike asked as Hilary ate.

"Good. I love being on the James. Captain Greene is awesome, and XO Diaz is very understanding. They have actually recommended me for a college program." Hilary stated.

"Nursing?" Mike asked.

"No. That was the original goal, but they suggested me for pre-med." Hilary told him.

"That's great, honey. Where at? Have you applied somewhere?" Mike asked.

"I actually already have. FSU. I wanted to be closer to home and the Navy has agreed. They will pay me to go to school and pay for my schooling. Once I go through pre-med and medical school; I am contracted for another five years. From there, I really don't know what the plan is." Hilary explained.

"I am thrilled to have you closer to home. You've applied but what about acceptance? I know before you had trouble getting into a nursing school because of having a GED." Mike asked. It was one of his biggest regrets. Because of not finding Christine and the kids, Hilary had to quit school to support his family when Christine got sick. It impacted her entire life.

"I've already been accepted. I have to finish this deployment; and then I'm home. I start school in the fall." Hilary told him.

"Perfect! So, how long for this deployment?" Mike asked.

"Of course, you know nothing is for sure, but it sounds like I will be home in May. If it gets extended, I will still get to come home but probably won't have the three-month break." Hilary told him. He could see she was getting tired and her speech was slurring form exhaustion. She was almost done eating and Mike knew they would have to catch up later.

"I will be counting down the days. Sorry for all of Christopher's questions. He is very inquisitive. So, you go up and take a nap and when you wake up; we will finish decorating the tree. Andrea is planning on making homemade pizza tonight and then we'll have a big breakfast in the morning after you all open presents and then she has dinner planned for two." Mike explained.

"Homemade pizza on Christmas Eve like Momma did? Hilary asked. It was one of Christine's traditions that Andrea had adopted. Mike loved it.

"Yep and she uses your mom's recipe for pizza crust." Mike told her.

"Oh, I've missed that so much. Is it deep dish like Momma's?" Hilary asked. Mike and Christine had been die-hard Chicagoans and it reflected in some of their preferences. Even though Christine had been raised in the south; she loved Chicago.

"Yes. It took Andrea a few years to find the perfect pans for it but yes." Mike explained.

"Momma swore by cast-iron everything." Hilary remarked.

"Yeah she did. So, how are your really doing? By now, you've seen somethings that I would prefer you never saw." Mike asked.

"Its…there's been some rough moments but I'm okay. Its given me an understanding of what you went through." Hilary told him.

"Hil, if you don't want to talk it out now or with me; its okay but don't hesitate to get help if you need it. Promise me?" Mike asked.

"I promise. I am getting tired. I'll just clean this stuff up and head upstairs." Hilary told him as she stood up to take her plate and glass to the sink.

"Leave it. I'll take care of it." Mike ordered, and Hilary complied.

"Alright. I'll just get some shut-eye." Hilary told him. Mike stood up and gave her another bear hug. Hilary finally pulled away and headed upstairs.

Mike was alone for at least a few minutes and he walked into the living room. As he sat down in the recliner, he focused on the family picture that had been taken at Hannah's graduation, less then twenty-fours before Christine's death. He wondered what Christine would think of Hilary getting to seize Christine's dream to be a doctor. Hilary was doing it in backwards manner, but she was getting there. Christine wouldn't be thrilled with her being in the Navy but would understand it. All Mike could really hope for was that he was making her proud in how he raised the triplets and supported his older kids. It had been a struggle at times but with every struggle had come a blessing, much like Christine's death had been.

 **I know I may have been incorrect in some of the talk about the Navy sending Hilary to college, but I wanted to wind that storyline up. I also am unclear on how long it would take to make those flights so also bear that in mind! I am unclear if I will do a sequel to this story but for now, this is it. I've loved the reviews and appreciated each one!**


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